When Cheng Boyan returned to the table, leading Xiao Xi by the harness, Grandma and Xiang Xi were chatting. Xiang Xi looked a little reserved, but much more relaxed than before. Judging by the look of things, the conversation seemed to be going quite well.

«Xiao Xi,» Cheng Boyan tugged on the leash, «take Uncle to Big Brother.»

Xiao Xi, clutching her candy, ran over to Xiang Xi and immediately reached up and grabbed his hand. «Big Brother!»

«Xiao Xi is really impressive, she found Big Brother so quickly,» Cheng Boyan said, giving the leash a little wave toward Grandma. «Look how capable our little sniffer dog is.»

«You and that rotten mouth of yours!» Grandma raised her hand and smacked him on the back.

«If Li Yan hears you, she'll tear you apart,» his mother glared at him.

«She and her husband together still couldn't beat me.» Cheng Boyan unfastened the leash from Xiao Xi's harness and sat down beside Xiang Xi.

«Good girl, Xiao Xi.» Xiang Xi smiled at Xiao Xi. He was completely hopeless when it came to entertaining children; apart from smiling and saying “Good girl, Xiao Xi,” he had no idea what else to do. All he could think about was how sticky the hand Xiao Xi was holding was with syrup.

«Big Brother, have some candy!» Xiao Xi held up the candy in her hand and offered it to Xiang Xi's mouth.

Xiang Xi looked at it, then lowered his head and opened his mouth to bite the candy. «Thank you.»

Xiao Xi burst into delighted laughter, laughing loudly.

«Oh, for heaven's sake,» Cheng Boyan immediately turned his head away when he saw it. «She's been licking that candy all over.»

«I didn't make you eat it,» Xiang Xi said unconcernedly. «She's been licking it all over, not rolling around on the floor with it.»

Cheng Boyan sighed and took some disinfectant out of his bag. «Wipe her hands for her.»

Xiang Xi took the disinfectant and gave Xiao Xi's hands a few haphazard rubs. «There. Xiao Xi, do you want to sit in the chair?»

«Sit on a leg.» Xiao Xi pointed at Cheng Boyan. «Uncle's leg.»

Xiang Xi picked her up and placed her on Cheng Boyan's lap.

«Have you noticed?» Grandma said from the side. «Ever since she got this Big Brother Xiang Xi, Xiao Xi has started calling Boyan “Uncle.”»

«I noticed,» Cheng Boyan said with a laugh, looking at Xiang Xi. «Thanks.»

Xiang Xi gave him a sidelong look without saying anything.

«I guess she couldn't quite manage two Big Brothers,» Director Xu said, looking at Xiao Xi. «Looks like our Xiao Xi can tell the difference between a Big Brother and an Uncle. You little rascal.»

«Uncle,» Xiao Xi said happily, hugging Cheng Boyan and rubbing back and forth against the clothes on his chest. «Uncle!»

«Are you washing your face?» Cheng Boyan pushed her away and looked at the two streaks of candy on his clothes. With an expression of agony, he grabbed a wet tissue. «Wipe your mouth!»

Grandma was in a very good mood today, so she ordered a huge amount of coarse-grain dishes whose nutrients had already been largely lost during the process of refining them, though they were indeed very tasty.

Even the multigrain porridge tasted much better than Cheng Boyan's mixed-bean porridge.

Xiang Xi ate until he was a little too full. He had been overeating lately, and he was starting to worry that if he continued like this, he really would turn into a fat man.

I'd better weigh myself when I get back.

After dropping Grandma, Xiao Xi, and Director Xu off at their respective homes, Cheng Boyan drove aimlessly around the streets.

«Are you lost? Go east,» Xiang Xi directed him.

«Wasn't it west?» Cheng Boyan said with a laugh. «I'm not lost. I just feel like driving around, looking at the night scenery. If you don't want to see it, you can go home.»

«Then let's have a look.» Xiang Xi rolled down the car window. The cool evening breeze swept in from outside, and he narrowed his eyes slightly. «What did you say to Director Xu today? She seemed to have decided to grit her teeth and accept me?»

«We talked about a lot of things,» Cheng Boyan said. «I told her that if she didn't approve of us, I'd run off with Xiang Xi.»

«Bullshit,» Xiang Xi said without even thinking. «If anyone had to run off, I'd be the one taking you with me. With your survival skills and the extent of your cleanliness obsession, you wouldn't even make it three li before you couldn't take care of yourself anymore.»

Cheng Boyan laughed for a long time. «I give up. Are you ever going to get over this way of talking?»

«It's going to take some time.» Xiang Xi leaned the seat back and propped his legs up against the dashboard. «I've talked like this for twenty years, and I'm also illiterate. If I'm going to change, it'll take…»

«Forget it,» Cheng Boyan suddenly said.

«Hmm?» Xiang Xi paused. «Are you angry?»

«No. I just suddenly feel like you don't need to change,» Cheng Boyan said. «Coarse grains refined into fine food lose all their nutritional value.»

Xiang Xi smiled. «Coarse grain is still food. I'm just a grain of barnyard grass. Even if I don't lose any nutrients, I don't have much nutritional value to begin with.»

«Do you know what it means to belittle yourself?» Cheng Boyan glanced at him.

«No. I've heard that phrase from Fake Blind Man before.» Xiang Xi frowned, trying to remember. «Something about… not this or not that, self-deprecating or something.»

«“One should not belittle oneself, nor use improper comparisons, thereby blocking the path of loyal advice.”» Cheng Boyan said.

«What?» Xiang Xi felt as though listening to Cheng Boyan say that sentence was like listening to a foreign language; he genuinely could not understand a single character, and could not even repeat the sentence aloud.

«Zhuge Liang. Chu Shi Biao,» Cheng Boyan added.

(NT: The Chūshī Biǎo (Memorial on Setting Out for the Campaign) is a famous piece of classical Chinese prose written by Zhuge Liang (181–234), a renowned strategist and statesman of the Three Kingdoms period. It is addressed to Liu Shan, emperor of Shu Han)

«Oh, come on,» Xiang Xi clicked his tongue. «Do you get some huge sense of accomplishment throwing Chu Shi Biao at an illiterate person like me?»

«Don't think so little of yourself.» Cheng Boyan smiled. Xiang Xi's inferiority complex was not something that could disappear in a day or two. Some of the things he had experienced and some of what he had lacked might never be made up for in an entire lifetime. But Cheng Boyan still wanted to give Xiang Xi confidence wherever he possibly could. «You're a pearl…»

«I'm a pearl. If you polished me a little, I'd probably look prettier, but then maybe I'd become no different from all those pretty pearls. So it's better to stay special like this. I'm still a pearl, a pearl.» Xiang Xi rattled the words off in one breath. «Right? That's what you mean, isn't it?»

Cheng Boyan opened his mouth but couldn't say anything. After laughing for quite a while, he finally sighed. «Yeah. I'm not saying anything anymore.»

«Don't! Finish what you were saying.» Xiang Xi rubbed his nose. «I like listening to you praise me.»

«You are…» Cheng Boyan thought for a moment. «My little bedside lamp. It's not very bright, and it can't illuminate very far, but if it's gone, everything around me is dark.»

Xiang Xi giggled and looked at him. «That's so cheesy, Uncle.»

«Want to go drive around the overpass?» Cheng Boyan asked with a smile.

«Sure. Can we get off before dawn? I have to go to Yunshui tomorrow afternoon,» Xiang Xi said.

«If we can't get off, we'll call the police,» Cheng Boyan said.

The car circled around the overpass for more than half a loop when Xiang Xi's phone rang. He took it out and saw Fang Yin's name on the screen. «Fang Yin?»

«What does he want with you?» Cheng Boyan immediately asked.

«How would I know?» Xiang Xi answered the call. «Hello?»

«Xiao Zhan?» Fang Yin's voice came through. «You still remember me, right?»

«What kind of question is that? I never forget people who've given me money.» Xiang Xi smiled.

Cheng Boyan quickly reached into the centre armrest, took out a hundred-yuan note, and placed it on Xiang Xi's thigh.

Xiang Xi glanced at him, laughing as he slipped the money into his pocket, then asked Fang Yin, «You need something?»

«I do. It's about that feature I photographed before…»

«The “30 Days” one?» Xiang Xi asked.

«Don't shoot it!» Cheng Boyan immediately interjected.

«Didn't I already say I wasn't going to shoot it?» Xiang Xi said.

«I know. I'm not asking you to take any photos,» Fang Yin said with a laugh. «I wanted to ask for your permission. Of course, if you don't agree, that's fine. We'll just drop it.»

«Permission for what?» Xiang Xi didn't understand.

«Don't agree,» Cheng Boyan said again.

Xiang Xi glanced at him, suppressed a laugh, and silently mouthed, «Don't interrupt.»

«It's like this. I'm preparing a photography exhibition with some friends. Several people's works will be displayed together,» Fang Yin explained. «I'm putting the “30 Days” project on hold for now, but there are some photographs I'd like to use. A few of them are of you, and I think you might accept the theme.»

«Go on,» Xiang Xi said.

«The theme is “Running.” I don't know how you feel about that,» Fang Yin said. «There are always times in life when we need to run, either to escape what's behind us or to run toward what's ahead.»

«Are you writing poetry now?» Xiang Xi laughed. «You never even took any pictures of me running.»

«No running. Why would you run?» Cheng Boyan said.

Xiang Xi almost burst out laughing. He sighed and pressed the speakerphone button.

«It's true I haven't photographed you running… Actually, I have. When you were looking for work, you got chased away by someone, remember? I took a picture then. But that one won't work,» Fang Yin explained. «When I say “running,” I don't mean literally running. It's a metaphor, a state of being in motion, of running forward. Do you understand what I mean?»

«I understand,» Xiang Xi replied. He was faintly interested in Fang Yin's idea this time.

«When you were looking for work, you were running. When you refused to let me photograph you at the café, that was also because you wanted to run forward,» Fang Yin continued. «Doesn't that… Why do I suddenly feel like I'm making a sales pitch over the phone…»

«Hmm,» Xiang Xi answered. «Pretty much.»

«In the past, both you and Dr. Cheng had more or less the same idea: even if you were going to take photographs, you wanted the message they conveyed to be bright and uplifting,» Fang Yin said. «Our opinions aren't completely aligned on this, but this particular theme does fit that idea. Are you interested?»

Xiang Xi did not answer immediately. He looked at Cheng Boyan, who also said nothing.

But honestly, Fang Yin's last few words had moved him. Just as he had stubbornly wanted to capture light, he too was moving forward, running forward, wanting to go ahead, wanting to rise upward.

After remaining silent for a while, he finally spoke. «Do I get paid?»

Cheng Boyan burst out laughing.

«I thought you were going to say something else… You really haven’t changed at all when it comes to this,» Fang Yin laughed. «Of course you’ll get paid. If you’re interested, come to my studio and we’ll discuss the details. You don’t have to give me an answer right away. Think about it and just let me know by this weekend.»

«Then… I’ll think about it,» Xiang Xi said.

After hanging up, he laughed at Cheng Boyan for a while. «Are you crazy?»

«Are you interested?» Cheng Boyan asked.

«If that really is the theme,» Xiang Xi thought about it. «It actually sounds pretty interesting. What do you think?»

«As long as they’re not using your photographs to make you look miserable, it’s up to you. You’ve got an identity card now, after all.» Cheng Boyan reached over and ruffled his hair.

«Then… should I go talk to him?» Xiang Xi asked.

«Yeah. If you want to, you can add another condition,» Cheng Boyan said.

«What condition? More money?» Xiang Xi's first reaction amused even himself. «Wow, I think money really is the thing I’m most obsessed with.»

«Show him the photographs you took,» Cheng Boyan said. «Let him choose two of them, and put those on display too. The title should say I Saw the Light, by Xiang Xi.»

«What?» Xiang Xi froze.

«Have him use your photographs. Even one would be fine.» Cheng Boyan glanced at him. After turning off the overpass, he pulled the car over and turned to look at Xiang Xi. «Remember to make sure he pays you.»

«You’re kidding.» Xiang Xi came back to himself and hurriedly shook his head. «That’s a proper exhibition of a proper photographer’s proper work. What would it even mean to put my photographs there? Even if he agreed, I’d be embarrassed.»

«What’s there to be embarrassed about? It’s not as though your photographs were taken by some improper photographer or that they’re improper photographs.» Cheng Boyan patted his shoulder. «Listen to me. Talk to him. If he says no, then fine. And if he refuses, tell him the fee for using your photographs is doubled.»

Xiang Xi remained silent for a long time before finally laughing. «You know, I’m only realizing now that you’re pretty shameless in this area too.»

«Just give it a try. If there’s an opportunity, give it a try. You have nothing to lose if he refuses anyway, right?» Cheng Boyan smiled.

Xiang Xi had never thought about what would ultimately happen to all those photographs he had taken. He had simply wanted to capture them: all kinds of light, the light he saw, the light inside his heart.

Cheng Boyan had already organized nearly a thousand photographs for him in a folder, not even counting all the ones that had turned out badly. He had copied the folder onto a USB drive.

Cheng Boyan drove him to Fang Yin’s studio and handed him the USB drive in the car. «Take all of them. He’s a professional. Let him choose.»

«Tell me,» Xiang Xi said, holding the USB drive between his fingers, «do you think he’ll think there’s something wrong with me?»

«I’ll be right here waiting for you.» Cheng Boyan patted the steering wheel. «If anyone says anything about you, tell Daddy. Daddy will go in there and rip his arm off immediately.»

«You’re crazy!» Xiang Xi laughed as he scolded him, then picked up his bag and got out of the car.

Fang Yin’s studio was not large. It was on the top floor of a mixed residential-and-commercial building, and its décor did not really look like a studio either. If it weren’t for the photographs on the walls and the various cameras and lenses lying on the desk, it would have looked more like a pretentious private café.

When Xiang Xi entered, Fang Yin was the only one there. His assistant had probably already finished work for the day. Fang Yin was sitting in front of his computer, busy with something.

When he saw Xiang Xi, he looked rather surprised and stared at him for quite a while. «I feel like you’ve changed?»

«I’ve gotten fatter.» Xiang Xi tugged at his trousers. «My old pants are already too tight.»

«That’s not the change I mean.» Fang Yin folded his arms and stepped back a couple of paces to look him over. «But I can’t quite put my finger on it… What have you been doing lately?»

«Making tea at a tea house.» Xiang Xi sat down on the sofa, put his bag beside him, and stretched out his legs. «Give me some water.»

«A tea house? You’re doing tea ceremony performances now?» Fang Yin was even more surprised. He poured him a glass of water and sat down opposite him. «I know what the change is now… Your bearing.»

«You want to say tea has refined me?» Xiang Xi laughed. «Don’t get all poetic on me. Let’s talk business.»

«All right.» Fang Yin nodded and placed a notebook in front of him. «Take a look at the photographs first. These are the ones I took back then. I’ve selected four I want to use this time. The accompanying text is beside them too. Take a look, and if you have any thoughts, tell me.»

Xiang Xi had seen all the photographs before. Fang Yin had previously put them on his studio’s website, accompanied by some rather unpleasant text.

But after so much time had passed, seeing these photographs again made Xiang Xi feel somewhat strange. The person in the photographs, with that disdainful look in the corner of his eyes, had been himself back then.

The photographs had not changed. What had changed was the text. The same image, expressed differently, could give people an entirely different feeling.

Xiao Z stood in front of the information board, looking up at the large and small job advertisements. His back was very straight, as though he were about to take flight, spread his wings, or run.

Xiao Z was somewhat dissatisfied with the theme I wanted to photograph. From his perspective, perhaps I was not a recorder at all, but rather someone standing behind him, pulling him back and stopping his steps. So he flicked his cigarette butt into the coffee in front of me.

…

A faint smile appeared at the corners of Xiang Xi’s mouth as he finished reading both the photographs and the accompanying text. He had no problem with Fang Yin using these photographs. Fang Yin’s offer was considerably higher than what he had paid Xiang Xi for the photographs before, so he had no objections.

«What do you think?» Fang Yin asked.

«Hmm. You can use them.» Xiang Xi took the USB drive out of his pocket. «But… there’s one condition.»

«What is it?» Fang Yin looked at the USB drive.

«These are photographs I took.» Xiang Xi placed the USB drive in front of him. «Take a look.»

«How many did you take?» Fang Yin opened the USB drive on the notebook with great interest. «This many?»

«Yeah. See if there are any that turned out all right.» Xiang Xi suddenly felt a little nervous, just like the first time he had sat behind a tea table and faced tea customers.

Fang Yin said nothing. He opened the photographs and began looking through them one by one.

Only after Xiang Xi had drunk four glasses of water and gone to the bathroom once did Fang Yin finish looking through the photographs. «You took all of these? Has anyone ever taught you?»

«No. I just took them randomly. Dr. Cheng gave me some tutorials, and I learned a little by following along with them.» Xiang Xi lightly tapped his fingers against the glass. «What do you think?»

«Most of them… You can tell at a glance that they were taken by someone who doesn’t know how to take photographs. But you have a real talent for composition.» Fang Yin looked up at him. «There are two that are pretty good.»

«Which two?» Xiang Xi immediately leaned over.

«This night scene and this tree-lined path.» Fang Yin opened the photographs. «Actually, didn’t I tell you before? If you’re interested, you can come over. I can teach you.»

«Hmm, that’s for later.» Xiang Xi nodded and pointed at the photographs. «Just these two. Can you use them?»

«Use them where?» Fang Yin paused, surprised.

Xiang Xi bit his lip. «Use them in your photography exhibition. The title of the photograph will be I Saw the Light, by Xiang Xi. If you use these, then I’ll let you use my previous photographs.»

After saying all of that in one breath, Xiang Xi simply stared at Fang Yin without saying another word.

Fang Yin looked at him as well, then turned his head to look at the photographs, before turning back to look at him. After a moment of silence, he said, “It’s actually quite creative.”

“What?” Xiang Xi asked.

“To tell you the truth, although this photograph is pretty good, it’s nowhere near good enough to be exhibited at a photography exhibition; it falls far short,” Fang Yin said, “but one can see that you have talent, and…”

“What?” Xiang Xi pressed.

“It fits with my theme,” Fang Yin said. “It shows you running from another perspective.”

“Then will you use it?” Xiang Xi asked.

“I will, but I can only use this night photograph. This one is better.” Fang Yin nodded.

“How much will you pay?” Xiang Xi asked again.

Fang Yin was taken aback for a moment, then burst out laughing. “…I’m not paying you. I’m using it for free.”

“No way. If you don’t pay me, I’ll have Doctor Cheng come and dislocate your shoulder,” Xiang Xi said.

“Even if you have him come and tear my arm off, I’m not paying you,” Fang Yin said with a laugh. “You’re the one getting the better deal here. If it were someone else, they’d have to pay me and I still wouldn’t use it.”

Xiang Xi hesitated, then lowered his head, took out his phone, and walked to one side to call Cheng Boyan. “He says he can use one of them, but he won’t pay. What should I do?”

“What do you mean, what should you do?” Cheng Boyan said. “Let him use it. Are you seriously going to ask him for money?”

“You were the one who said to make him pay!” Xiang Xi said quietly.

“I was just saying that on a whim, my boy,” Cheng Boyan said with a laugh. “If he’s willing to use it, let him use it. Tell him he can use it.”

Xiang Xi hung up and turned back toward Fang Yin. “All right, but make the photograph larger, use the title I came up with, and the author’s name is Xiang Xi, not Zhan Hongtu.”

“No problem.” Fang Yin smiled and nodded. “Xiang Xi?”

“Yes, Xiang Xi. That’s what it says on my identity card: Xiang Xi,” Xiang Xi said.

“All right.” Fang Yin stood up and extended his hand. “Then, shall we say it’s a pleasure to work together?”

“It’ll be an even greater pleasure if there’s money involved.” Xiang Xi shook his hand.

“If you can take good photographs in the future, I’ll certainly pay you according to the standard rate,” Fang Yin said.

When Xiang Xi walked out of the studio, he had a very strange feeling. Someone had actually sat down with him in this somewhat pretentious studio, with a notebook between them, discussing photographs he had taken, shaking his hand and saying, “Pleasure working with you.”

Let alone back when he had been just drifting through life in Zhaojiayao, even two months earlier he could never have imagined a scene like this.

“Xiao Cheng, drive,” he said as he got into Cheng Boyan’s car. “We’ve settled the collaboration.”

“Where is Boss Xiang planning to go now?” Cheng Boyan asked with a smile.

“Go out for a late-night snack?” Xiang Xi thought for a moment. “How about you fry me a few locusts?”

“…All right,” Cheng Boyan said helplessly.

Over the next few days, whenever Xiang Xi had nothing to do, he would ask Cheng Boyan to fry him a few locusts. It was never much, just a small dish at a time, eaten as a snack. Cheng Boyan felt as though he was practically sleeping in a pile of locusts even in his dreams.

However, his skill at frying locusts remained fairly consistent. He never burned them; every time, he fried them until they were golden and crispy. It was also the only dish that Xiang Xi never fought him over making himself.

“Are you off next Saturday?” Xiang Xi asked while crunching on a locust. “That’s the day the photography exhibition opens.”

“No, but I can discuss it with my colleagues. If I’m on duty Friday, I can take Saturday off.” Cheng Boyan glanced at the calendar. “I’ll go with you.”

“It’s not you accompanying me to look at it; it’s you going to look at my work!” Xiang Xi corrected him.

“All right,” Cheng Boyan sang, “He’s coming to see my photography exhibition…”

“There’s only one photograph,” Xiang Xi thought about it and laughed again. “And it was still practically forced on him.”

“Don’t worry about how it happened. Your photograph is hanging there now,” Cheng Boyan said.

That was true. What did it matter how it had come about? The photograph was hanging there now.

Early Saturday morning, Xiang Xi and Cheng Boyan followed the address Fang Yin had given them and arrived at the venue, a fairly large photography salon that regularly held impressive photography exhibitions and was frequently featured in the news.

Before the exhibition opened, Fang Yin showed the two of them around. The exhibition had been arranged with considerable talent. It wasn’t the kind Xiang Xi had imagined, with photographs hung on huge white walls, where everyone simply walked around once and finished looking at everything.

All the photographs in the main hall had been carefully arranged. Some hung on the walls, some leaned against walls at corners, and some were placed beside the bar. Xiang Xi’s “Running” photographs had been arranged as a small display in the lounge area. The photograph I Saw the Light had been placed on the coffee table between the sofas, with a small oil lamp in front of it.

“How is it?” Fang Yin asked.

“It’s pretty good.” Xiang Xi looked at everything one by one, finally stopping in front of the “work” he himself had taken. He had taken it one evening after coming out of the supermarket. Standing at the top of a slope, he had photographed a row of streetlights stretching downhill. Beneath the pale yellow light, the elongated shadows of the light poles divided the warm yellow glow covering the ground into neat sections.

He reached out and touched the photograph. “It’s really good. Thank you.”

 

Translator : DarNan