As Zhuo Fan walked out of the supermarket, carrying heavy bags filled with fresh food and vegetables, he saw a strangely familiar black private car parked in front of the entrance. The man inside rolled down the window, looked at him, and spat out two words: “Get in the car.”

Zhuo Fan settled inside, the bags resting on his lap. He looked at the other man in the rearview mirror, a look of surprise in his eyes. “Why did you come to pick me up?” he asked.

The car sped away. Xiao Han stared at the road ahead, his tone detached: “Chenli is arriving today on the 5 o’clock flight. I’ll go pick him up. Then, we’ll have dinner together to welcome him back.”

At the mention of that name, Chenli, Zhuo Fan tensed. His fingers clenched around the handles of the plastic bags. Turning a hesitant gaze to Xiao Han’s cold profile, he murmured, “Should I cook for you two? I bought some fresh spare ribs and…”

“There’s no need. I’ve already booked a table at a French restaurant.” Xiao Han interrupted as he absently adjusted his perfectly knotted tie. He gave him a rare smile, with a hint of helplessness. “Chenli has spent too much time in France. I think he’s not used to Chinese cuisine anymore.”

Zhuo Fan froze as he stared at that smile. Never before had Xiao Han given him such a bright and warm expression.

“You already said… he looks a bit like me, right?” Zhuo Fan asked hesitantly.

“No,” Xiao Han corrected. “You’re the one who looks like him, but only slightly.”

"…"

The coldness of the food spread to his hands through the plastic. He realized that he had probably bought all of this for nothing. But Xiao Han, of course, didn’t care. Ever since he had asked Zhuo Fan to get in the car, he hadn’t spared him a single glance.

Zhuo Fan's eyes blurred with red. Why does Liang Chenli always occupy your heart, even though I am so good to you? he thought painfully.

Zhuo Fan checked his watch. It was only 3:00 PM. An hour would be more than enough to reach the airport. So why drive so fast? How eager was he to see Chenli again?

Xiao Han, for his part, paid no attention to the tormented and sensitive thoughts of the man sitting next to him. His fast driving was simply a way to vent his bad mood of the day.

Want to see Liang Chenli again? Please! Who was that again?

Just this morning, he had woken up to a shocking revelation: he had transmigrated into a novel with a modern and deplorable plot!

How had this happened? He had no idea. But it was a fact.

And worse, he knew the plot of this novel: an absolute cliché where an arrogant top, secretly in love with his best friend, finds a vaguely similar substitute to fill his void.

Don't ask questions: he just knew it.

The scenario had led him first to the supermarket at 3pm to pick up Zhuo Fan, then to the airport, accompanied by his little lover, to meet up with the former object of his affection. What a grotesque idea… could it be more absurd?

Ah? You want to know what this "scenario" is? Come on, who do you take me for, an encyclopedia?

From the rearview mirror, Xiao Han saw how sad his "little lover" looked as he looked at him. Immediately, a dull pain shot through his insides.

Look over here, little brother. We just met today. Don't be so bitter and hateful, okay? I don't even know you!

Even though he was fuming inwardly, Xiao Han maintained his cold and impassive expression. He also remained silent in the face of Zhuo Fan’s attempts at conversation, obeying the demands of the scenario.

However, who would have imagined that they would get stuck in a traffic jam on the way? What an irony. He couldn't even speed up anymore.

“Damn!” he cursed inwardly as he slammed the steering wheel. Zhuo Fan, upon noticing this gesture, naturally assumed that Xiao Han was upset at the thought of arriving late to meet Liang Chenli. The thought pained him even more.

The traffic jam lasted for almost an hour before they finally reached the airport. After parking the car, Xiao Han finally turned his head towards Zhuo Fan and ordered, “Get off.”

Zhuo Fan obeyed, putting down his things and closing the door before going around the car to walk beside him. Then, he timidly reached out and grabbed Xiao Han's arm.

Xiao Han immediately stiffened, shivers running down his left arm. Fortunately, his suit concealed his reaction. But, according to the instructions in the script, he was to push Zhuo Fan away only after seeing Liang Chenli. So Xiao Han had no choice but to quicken his pace towards the finish area, his face closed.

“Hey, Chenli, have you arrived yet?” he asked as he held his phone, his eyes scanning the crowd. The truth? He had no idea what this man looked like.

“Ah-Han, I see you now! My wife and I are right behind you.”

Liang Chenli's cheerful voice rang through the receiver. Xiao Han turned around to see a tall man in a trench coat waving at him, one arm around a beaming blonde.

It must be him.

With a quick gesture, Xiao Han pushed Zhuo Fan’s arm away and watched the silhouettes approaching. There was no need to describe them further; they were just minor characters.

“Ah-Han, it’s been years! You’re still so handsome. Look, even my wife can’t take her eyes off you. I’m going to get jealous!” Liang Chenli joked as he patted Xiao Han on the shoulder while keeping a protective arm around his wife,pretended to be angry.

This compliment wasn’t bad. Xiao Han responded with a polite smile to the blonde and said, “You married such a beautiful woman. I should be the one who’s jealous.”

It seemed like he was sincere, but, in Zhuo Fan's ears, those words turned into a dagger.

“Who is it? He seems a little familiar,” Liang Chenli said as he glanced at Zhuo Fan, suddenly remembering his presence.

Xiao Han replied slowly, “This is Zhuo Fan, a friend of mine.”

He didn't need to look at it to guess that Zhuo Fan must have been completely dejected at this moment. Xiao Han silently cursed the scenario tens of thousands of times, but still invited Liang Chenli and his wife to have dinner with them.

Xiao Han had booked a lounge at the best French restaurant in town, going so far as to hire a violinist to play outside their private room.

The room was elegant and intimate, bathed in a quiet atmosphere. Each dish served was a true gastronomic masterpiece. Xiao Han cut a piece of steak and brought it to his mouth with natural grace.

Liang Chenli proved to be an inexhaustible chatterbox. He exchanged anecdotes with his wife, recounting their many adventures abroad. Meanwhile, Xiao Han impassively carved his steak with precision, discreetly placing Chenli's favorite dishes on his plate. He listened with deceptive tranquility.

Zhuo Fan, on the other hand, remained silent. The table was full of delicious food, but everything seemed tasteless to him. He nibbled on a spoonful of ice cream, but the cold chilled his stomach. Cramps began to grip him.

With sweat beading on his forehead, Zhuo Fan discreetly tugged at Xiao Han’s sleeve and whispered, “Xiao Han, I’m not feeling very well… I’m going to the bathroom.”

“Mm.” Xiao Han nodded without looking at him. His tone was so casual that one might wonder if he had actually heard Zhuo Fan.

Zhuo Fan silently walked towards the toilet, holding his stomach. When Liang Chenli saw him leaving, he stood up and offered to accompany him. Zhuo Fan felt even more depressed. He pretended not to hear and quickly walked away.

Xiao Han exchanged a look with the pretty blonde. He had neither the desire nor the energy to be polite. He continued to eat with his head down, barely listening to the foreign girl's poor Chinese pronunciation, only responding to one sentence out of ten she said.

“Chenli said that you have known each other for ten years?”
Xiao Han wiped his mouth with a napkin and corrected himself, “It’s been ten years and three months.”
“Wow, you remember that so clearly!”
Unexpectedly, Xiao Han replied in a cryptic tone, “That’s well known.”
“Ah? What do you mean?” The foreign girl looked at him, puzzled. With her level of Chinese, she had a hard time understanding this complex syntax.

Of course, he had no interest in explaining it. At this point in the script, the plot was about to reach its climax. Xiao Han turned his head towards the toilet. He put down his knife and fork, wiped his hands, picked up the last napkin, and pretended to accidentally spill ice water on it.

He looked at his watch: it was exactly 7:00 p.m.

“Fire! The restaurant is on fire!” Several screams rang out, and the bright light of the fire disturbed the calm atmosphere of the restaurant. The fire broke out strangely and suddenly. As the guests panicked, the flames quickly spread throughout the room.

Don't ask why a fire broke out so easily in a fancy Western restaurant. If the script says there's a fire, don't expect it to rain.

Thick smoke enveloped the surroundings. As everyone rushed towards the exit, Xiao Han crouched down and headed towards the restroom, his behavior appearing particularly strange and unexpected in contrast to the general panic.

He covered his mouth and nose with the wet towel, squinting his eyes, and then kicked open the toilet door. Since the inside was relatively enclosed, thick smoke instantly soared out, stinging his eyes. Xiao Han suppressed a cough, kicked the cubicle doors, and shouted Liang Chenli's name.

When he arrived at the third stall, he finally found the unconscious man slumped over the toilet lid. Without saying a word, Xiao Han picked him up and carried him out. When he reached the toilet exit, he stopped for a moment, glancing at a nearby stall—he knew Zhuo Fan was inside.

At this moment, the fire erupted with increased violence, the temperature rising dramatically. However, Xiao Han's expression remained icy. The sprinklers on the ceiling finally started up. Clinging to Liang Chenli, Xiao Han struggled to wet their clothes. Meanwhile, the immense fire was getting dangerously close.

Pulling the other man, Xiao Han rushed towards the toilet exit. As he turned to the side, he saw a French window on the right. Without hesitation, he walked towards it, and both of them fell to the ground, surrounded by shards of glass. Fortunately, the restaurant was on the first floor. Apart from some minor burns, shards of glass, and soaked clothes, they had no serious injuries.

As soon as they got out, the firefighters finally arrived and the police quickly secured the area to prevent any thoughtless people from risking their lives. Liang Chenli was still unconscious, lacking oxygen. Xiao Han carried him to an ambulance and refused the nurse's suggestion to accompany him to the hospital.

The fire continued to spread at a rapid speed.

Xiao Han's face was covered in smoke dust. He stood aside in a safe place and coldly observed the events inside.

He knew that Zhuo Fan was in the cabin next to Liang Chenli. He also knew that Zhuo Fan was conscious at that time and had surely heard his calls. He even knew that the other man would be rescued soon.

But most importantly, he knew that after this incident, the scenario would begin to take a classic turn: the bottom would lose all confidence, while the trash top would repent and turn into a loyal dog.

Fire reflected in Xiao Han's eyes. Slowly, his brows furrowed.
In his mind, he carefully recalled the situation just now. He remained calm, already knowing what would happen. But in reality, faced with a sudden incident, our male protagonist might not have had time to think so much. It was reasonable to instantly call out the name of his good friend who he had secretly loved for the past ten years. As for saving his friend and not Zhuo Fan, it wasn't his fault that he found Liang Chenli first. Besides, given the situation at that time, it wasn't that he didn't want to save Zhuo Fan, but that he was unable to.
It was still that age-old question: If your mother and your wife fall into the river at the same time, who do you save first?
If the script had wanted him to see the unconscious Zhuo Fan first, what would have happened next? But judging from the nature of the script, such a thing would only happen if the sun rose in the west.
As Xiao Han pondered, his eyes kept staring at the entrance.
Wondering why Liang Chenli was unconscious, while Zhuo Fan heard Xiao Han's screams? Here's the script's explanation: Liang Chenli's cabin door was broken, while Zhuo Fan wanted to test Xiao Han.
This test revealed the so-called "distance" and "sincerity" in Xiao Han's attitude.
As for logic, what is it? Can you eat it?
If Zhuo Fan were the protagonist, there would have been a long description of the pain he felt in the fire, detailing his inconsolable despair and heartbreaking grief (and so on; thousand-word long description omitted here). All of this would have laid a solid psychological foundation for the top bastard's severe abuse in the future.
For now, though, Xiao Han only wanted to say: Fuck your mother.
Zhuo Fan was a grown man, for God's sake. Yet, not only did he rely on others instead of saving himself, he also complained and whined incessantly.
Saving Zhuo Fan would have been a matter of love; failing to save him was a no-brainer.
Of course, if Zhuo Fan had been a fragile woman, Xiao Han would have been able to understand her situation a little.
If they had been lovers, it was natural for Zhuo Fan to feel sad and disappointed, and a breakup would be a reasonable outcome.

However, Xiao Han had seen the upcoming plot developments in advance: kneeling down in front of Zhuo Fan to confess his mistakes and repent, suffering all sorts of verbal and physical abuse from Zhuo Fan's friends and family, as if "it was all his fault" because "he deserved to be mistreated for being a top scumbag". Moreover, he would have to grovel at their feet and rush to flatter their indifferent faces. These details disgusted him so much that he thought he might as well have died in the fire and thus settled the problem for good.
Quickly, the firefighters took a few people out one after another. At a glance, Xiao Han caught sight of Zhuo Fan. It was only when his ambulance disappeared from sight that he sighed in relief and called a taxi to the hospital.
What, you wonder where the blonde girl went? Never mind, that's not the point.

*
The fantasy scenario had Zhuo Fan and Liang Chenli being admitted to the same hospital.
Xiao Han went to see Liang Chenli. He was not seriously injured and was able to leave the hospital in less than two days. After that, of course, came the climax: a face-to-face meeting with Zhuo Fan.
In his heart of hearts, Xiao Han absolutely did not want to demean himself according to the script. No matter what the top scum thought of Zhuo Fan, it had nothing to do with him.
As for his inner monologue described in the script, such as "always thinking about Zhuo Fan in a daze", "being unaccustomed to an empty room without Zhuo Fan", "feeling guilty, worried, and anxious" - he had none of these emotions. Instead, he remained unchanged; everything he ate remained delicious, and he even gained a little weight.
Wasn't this being more of a scumbag than a scumbag? What should he do now?

As he slowly walked towards the entrance of the room, he saw another stranger. The man was wearing a white shirt, a suit jacket over his arm. The knot of his tie was meticulous. Behind his glasses was a pair of long, narrow eyes. He was speaking softly to the nurse.

Seeing Xiao Han approaching, the man slowly stood up. The moment he took off his glasses, his gentle appearance was immediately replaced by a sense of ferocity. “You’re Xiao Han?”
If there wasn’t any hidden hostility in his words, Xiao Han would have thought that the man’s voice was very pleasing to the ear.
He recognized the man’s identity almost immediately: the perfect, infatuated second male lead that every top/bottom novel must have—Wen Muyan.
To add a literary touch, such men are tragic supporting male characters. To put it more bluntly, they are just supporting roles.
Furthermore, they will forever remain secondary characters, used only as a plot device to annoy the bastard top. Despite their devotion to the bottoms, they can unfortunately only laugh bitterly and watch their love throw itself into the arms of the scum turned into loyal dogs.
Thinking of this, Xiao Han couldn’t help but look at him sympathetically.
Seeing such a look from Xiao Han, the accusations that Wen Muyan had prepared suddenly turned into puzzlement.
He couldn't help but stand up and touch his own face. Did he have sesame sauce from his noodles on his face?

 

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The author has something to say:

This novel is a satirical play, and there will be all kinds of crazy developments in the future. There is a light pairing,

there is smut, and those of you who can't tell who is the top, please slap yourself three hundred times!

 

Translator : DarNan