1. Nezha’s Comment on Pi Jubao’s Homework

Nezha evaluated Pi Jubao’s homework as “constantly fresh and interesting, like visiting Hailan Home; every time you see it, you can find new characters you don’t know” (NT: Hailan Home – a Chinese clothing store chain).

Pi Xiu waved his hand: “No way. Brooms are just like that, scratched by chickens all over.” (NT: meaning messy)

2. Mid-Autumn Festival Special Mooncakes

During the Mid-Autumn Festival, the restaurant launched special mooncakes. Pi Xiu personally made them, while the Matchmaker God helped package them. Anyone who ate them was guaranteed wealth and a love match, enjoying a sweet family reunion, and leaving sorrow behind.

After Tao Ti promoted them in a mukbang broadcast (NT: live-streamed eating show), Guan Guan received so many orders that his throat smoked from overuse. After popping two throat lozenges, he was ready to continue. All employees rolled up their sleeves and worked together to make mooncakes.

By the end, Wen Xi smelled the mooncakes and almost vomited. Leaning against the wall, retching, he was caught by someone.

Rumours of “three children per year” started circulating again. This time, morning sickness was proof!

3. Wen Xi’s Nightmare

One night, Wen Xi woke from a nightmare. Pi Xiu heard the movement and woke up, seeing his little one terrified. He quickly held him in his arms.

Pi Xiu: “What’s wrong? Did you have a nightmare about the past again?”

Wen Xi nodded and murmured: “I dreamed I was pregnant.”

Pi Xiu: ?

Wen Xi looked at him: “Then I gave birth to a child.”

Pi Xiu: “…Great, I’ll need a good name for my third child.”

Wen Xi shook his head: “No, that’s not the point. Look at the baby’s butt — it’s like yours; the things that should be there aren’t. Then I kept having children until one had what it should.”

Pi Xiu: “…”

Wen Xi: “Then I kept giving birth, nine more, until finally there was one.”

Pi Xiu: “You’re like a sow giving birth! Add the first two older ones, our family now has all twelve zodiac signs. Enough, go to sleep. As long as you can give birth, even if there are two, I like them all.”

Wen Xi: “…Stop talking. I feel like I’ll have another nightmare soon.”

4. Ren Jiao Becomes a Forum Star

After appearing in Tao Ti’s livestream, Ren Jiao forcefully became the hottest male demon on the forum. Many people mistook him for the Qingqiu fox Qiu Fu. Questions about the marriage of the old fox couple kept coming in from all over Qingqiu.

(NT: Qīngqiū: Literally “Green Hill”, legendary land of fox spirits)

The elderly couple was shocked, secretly calling Qiu Fu: “Did you secretly get plastic surgery without telling us?”

Qiu Fu: …

Qiu Fu: “It’s the new society. Can’t people change their stereotypes of fox spirits?”

5. Chongyang Festival: Elderly Respect Gala

(NT: festival celebrated on the ninth day of the ninth lunar month, sometimes called the “Senior Citizens’ Day” because it emphasizes respect for the elderly and wishes for long life.)

During the Chongyang Festival, the Supervisory Office held an “Respect for the Elderly” gala. Pi Xiu, as an old ancestor in the demon world, naturally received an invitation and was counted among the “longevity elders”.

Looking at the black Tang suit with red “Fu” character and the matching dragon-headed cane with health ball, he scowled silently.

(NT: red “福 " (Fu) character symbolizes good luck, fortune, and blessings.)

Wen Xi couldn’t help laughing: “I heard these elders can accept red envelopes. Are you going?”

Pi Xiu: “Go fart!” (NT: meaning not a chance!)

Yet Pi Xiu still dressed in the Tang suit and sat at the head with the red envelope. The sign in front read: Grandpa Pi Xiu.

6. Yang Jian Delivers Documents

That day, Erlang Shen came to the restaurant to deliver something and happened to see Hou Er joking with customers. He couldn’t help watching until Pi Xiu arrived.

Pi Xiu asked: “What are you looking at? Is the Heavenly Court going to dig up old grudges again?”

Yang Jian: “No, they don’t know about the Great Sage. By the way, here’s the land contract for Mount Buzhou you asked for. You’re planning a chicken farm, beekeeping, and a guesthouse?”

Pi Xiu raised an eyebrow: “Relying on the mountain for the mountain (NT: idiom meaning ‘use local resources to get benefits’). You, three-eyed kid, don’t understand.”

Yang Jian: “Fine, just give me a membership card as a hush fee.”

Pi Xiu paused, then continued: “Fine, giving it to you directly. Who cares about your two coins?”

Yang Jian raised his eyebrows: “Thanks, Boss Pi. By the way, Nezha is here? Li Jing asked me to give him a message.”

Pi Xiu: “In the backyard. Come with me.”

The two entered the backyard. Nezha sat on a stone stool, eating an ice pop with three heads and three mouths moving constantly — three times the chill a normal person would feel.

Yang Jian: “…”

Yang Jian: “Li Jing asked me to give you a message.”

Nezha: “Is it a last wish? If it is, I’ll listen.”

Yang Jian: “He says your mother wants you home for dinner.” He paused: “My wording feels strange.”

Pi Xiu nodded: “I thought I was dreaming back to 2009.”

Nezha was silent for a moment, then replied: “Got it. I’ll go back in a couple of days.”

Yang Jian nodded. After delivering the items and message, he should have left, but curiosity made him sit on the stone stool, asking Pi Xiu: “Just the three of us here — why don’t you tell me how you got in touch with the Great Sage?” (NT: aka the Monkey King)

Pi Xiu clicked his tongue: “There’s no need to ‘connect the lines’, we just got acquainted. Back then I had money, travelled all over the mountains, and happened to pass by Flower-Fruit Mountain and saw him practicing Hou Quan there.”

(NT: The Flower-Fruit Mountain (Huā Guǒ Shān) is the legendary mountain in Chinese mythology where Sun Wukong (the Monkey King) was born and where he trained.)

He sat down on the stone stool, lit a cigarette, inhaled lightly, and said: “I’ve been to the Water Curtain Cave of Flower-Fruit Mountain before, mountains full of monkeys, chirping and squawking, enough to drive anyone crazy. But that time, apart from him, I didn’t see a single other monkey hair.”

Yang Jian nodded: “Since he was born, there have been fewer and fewer enlightened monkey spirits, until later none appeared.”

“He guarded the Water Curtain Cave alone; normally no one came by. That day, I chatted with him briefly and drank two cups. The scenery was nice and peaceful, so I stayed for a few days.”

Pi Xiu flicked the ash off his cigarette: “That’s how we got close.”

Nezha recalled those days and laughed: “I used to go visit him just to get him out of the cave. I told him to go out more, but he said he was guarding Flower-Fruit Mountain and didn’t want to move. The Great Sage, Heaven- and Earth-traversing, turned out to be so attached to home.”

Yang Jian said lightly: “Monkeys are naturally social animals. Living alone there must have been very boring.”

Pi Xiu nodded.

-

The Monkey King, who had stirred Heaven and challenged the underworld, sat on the stone. Moonlight above, Water Curtain Cave with only splashing water behind him.

Even with Pi Xiu beside him, the scene made it feel as though the world had become desolate, leaving only him.

The Great Sage looked up at the sky, down at the ground, and suddenly laughed. He was a demon equal to the heavens, yet also the loneliest demon in the world.

The Great Sage looked at Pi Xiu: “After all these years, are there still monkey spirits outside?”

Pi Xiu thought carefully, shook his head: “Doesn’t seem like it. At least I haven’t seen any.”

The Great Sage nodded slightly: “None, huh…”

He looked at the boundless night sky and said calmly: “None outside, none here, maybe never again.”

“If you feel lonely, you can let some little demons stay. They’ll be happy to talk with you,” Pi Xiu suggested.

The Great Sage shook his head: “It’s different. I’m not short of talking companions. I just…”

He paused, waved his hand: “Forget it. What’s the use of telling you? Problems I can’t solve, no one else can either.”

Pi Xiu raised an eyebrow, didn’t ask more. After staying two days at Flower-Fruit Mountain, he bid The Great Sage farewell. On leaving, The Great Sage said: “If you get bored after a while, come back. I have a favour to ask.”

Pi Xiu nodded. When he returned to Flower-Fruit Mountain, he found The Great Sage meditating on the stone in front of the Water Curtain Cave.

Golden crown and red robe tossed aside, covered in thick dust.

Pi Xiu greeted him: “What are you doing?”

The Great Sage neither opened his eyes nor mouth, yet his voice reached Pi Xiu’s ear: “This great demon is zuohua” (NT: a Buddhist term for meditating and leaving the mortal world peacefully)

Pi Xiu froze, rubbed his ears: “What? Say that again.”

The Sage: “I said I am zuohua.”

Pi Xiu: “…Isn’t living better? Why zuohua?”

“Too boring… this world is too boring,” The Great Sage murmured. “No monkeys, no descendants… my family is gone…”

The Great Sage lacked neither followers nor conversation partners, yet no family to live with daily. His voice grew quieter, Pi Xiu could barely hear.

Pi Xiu frowned, unsure how to comfort him. After a moment of silence, he asked: “Then what do you need me for?”

The Sage’s voice returned: “The Water Curtain Cave… is yours now… if any other monkey spirits appear, please take care of them.”

Pi Xiu was stunned, about to refuse, but golden light began to radiate from the Sage, small points swirling with the wind.

He hurriedly said: “If no one’s with you, keep yourself company! Pull a hair and make ten thousand more. Why worry about no family?”

The Great Sage was silent, golden particles still drifting. Pi Xiu, scowling, continued: “If you feel it’s not right, just seal your memories. Self-deception is the traditional virtue of Chinese demons, isn’t it?”

Rarely talkative, Pi Xiu shouted at the still-glowing Sage: “You’ve fought Heaven and the Heavenly Court for years. If you suddenly zuohua out of loneliness, wouldn’t that make it easy for them?”

Suddenly, the golden particles slowed and quieted. The Great Sage spoke again: “Indeed, it would make it easy for them.”

The meditating Sage changed his mind, divided three corpses, lightning struck around, golden light attracted two curious wild monkeys.

-

Pi Xiu exhaled: “The rest you all know. I thought I’d never see him again, but he left a trick up his sleeve.”

Nezha raised his eyebrow: “This monkey is clever. Of course he left a card up his sleeve.”

Yang Jian stood, adjusted his clothes: “Well, wish fulfilled. Good fortune.”

Pi Xiu raised his eyebrow: “No doubt about that.”

8. Tao Ti’s Long-Awaited Reunion

One day, during a mukbang, Tao Ti abruptly ended the stream, found Pi Xiu, grabbed his hand, and said sincerely: “Brother! Waited so long, finally today! Dreamed for so long, finally fulfilled it!”

Pi Xiu, annoyed, shrugged his hand off: “Reincarnate if you want, stop chattering.”

Tao Ti cleared his throat: “Fine, I’ll say goodbye and leave now.”

Pi Xiu raised an eyebrow: “Aren’t you going to greet Wen Xi?”

“No, don’t make him sad.” Tao Ti waved and left quickly: “I need to hurry, or Qian Niang will be anxious.”

By the reincarnation well, most were anxious or numb; only Tao Ti was excited, smiling on his way to a long-delayed date.

A little immortal by the well asked: “Where’s the Gourmand Patriarch going?”

Tao Ti smiled: “To the person I love.”

At the appointed time, Tao Ti entered the well. Past grudges and karma were set aside; from babbling to first steps, to adulthood, the ordinary life began anew.

In the busy holiday commercial district, Tao Ti wore headphones to avoid people, accidentally bumped into someone. He turned to apologize, eyes already wet.

“Golden wind and jade dew meet, surpassing countless encounters in the mortal world” (NT: idiom meaning “a perfect encounter is worth more than countless ordinary experiences”).

They stood looking at each other. Tao Ti coughed, wiped his tears, and asked: “Can I hug you now?”

Wen Xi said nothing, stepped forward, and hugged him first.

Another afternoon, Wen Xi woke Pi Zhaocai from the table, pinched his ears: “Homework done? Again sleeping here like this? Go back upstairs in human form and do it. How many years have you postponed high school? Want to graduate at a hundred?”

The white fat cat meowed, stubbornly refusing to move.

Wen Xi was about to scold more when a shout came from the door:

“Hua Yu!”

He turned and froze.

Pi Xiu was in the backyard adjusting Wen Xi’s swing, suddenly hearing the shout: “Pi Xiu, sister and brother-in-law are back!”

“Got it! Don’t shout!” Pi Xiu yelled, tightening the rope, thinking it’s a trivial matter, but his face couldn’t help smiling.

White clouds, blue dogs; (NT: idiom meaning “the world changes in an instant”) life passes in the blink of an eye, but their stories were far from over.

 

End

 

Translator : DarNan