The moment Hu Hai uttered those words, Xiang Xi felt as though a peal of thunder before a midsummer thunderstorm had struck him with a loud crash.

He froze in his chair, suddenly unable to catch his breath, his chest so tight it felt suffocating.

Three years old. Hu Hai's little brother had already been three years old when he disappeared. A three-year-old child could walk and talk. He would no longer have been a tiny infant wrapped tightly in swaddling clothes.

Nor could he have been like Xiang Xi, with not the faintest memory of anything...

It wasn't him.

He wasn't Hu Hai's little brother.

The answer wasn't really unexpected. He had kept reminding himself all along that it was only a possibility. It might be true, or it might not.

But perhaps because he had longed for his parents and family for so many years, the jade ruyi pendant he had been carrying on his chest to "show off his wealth" had lost its purpose before it even had the chance to make its appearance. He found himself unable to accept it all at once.

He no longer even needed to ask Hu Hai whether he recognized his jade pendant, or whether his little brother had had a tear mole beneath his eye.

All the lines he had prepared, all the roundabout probing, were unnecessary now.

Disappointment crashed over him in an instant, covering him completely, weighing on him so heavily that he could barely remain seated.

"You..." After leaning against the windowsill for quite some time without hearing another word from Xiang Xi, Hu Hai turned around. The moment he saw him, surprise flashed across his face. "What's wrong?"

Xiang Xi came back to himself. He said nothing, merely reaching up instinctively to touch his face.

There were no tears.

Thank goodness.

It was probably just that the expression on his face wasn't looking too good.

"It's nothing," Xiang Xi said, lowering his eyes to the qin before him. He couldn't help letting out a soft sigh. "So... he was already three."

Hu Hai returned to his seat and watched him quietly for a moment. Then he leaned forward, reached toward Xiang Xi's collar, and lightly touched the corner of the pendant peeking out. "Did you just buy this?"

"No," Xiang Xi replied with a strained smile as he pulled the pendant out. "They say it... may have belonged to my parents."

"A ruyi pendant," Hu Hai observed after examining it. "The old man told me a little about your situation."

"I..." Xiang Xi looked at him. "Could I see yours?"

Without a word, Hu Hai removed the jade pendant from around his neck and placed it in Xiang Xi's hand. "My mother gave me this. I've worn it ever since. My little brother... didn't have one. And he didn't have... a mole like yours either."

It seemed Hu Hai had already understood what Xiang Xi had been trying to find out.

Xiang Xi lowered his head and looked at the jade pendant in his hand.

Just as Cheng Boyan had said, it was a beautiful piece of jade, with excellent translucency. It looked quite similar to his own, but it was smaller. And instead of a ruyi, it was carved into a plump little rabbit.

It really wasn't the same.

Hu Hai's little brother hadn't had a jade pendant. Aside from both being high-quality jade, the two pendants had nothing else in common.

Nor was there any mole.

"Were you born in the Year of the Rabbit?" Xiang Xi asked.

When he looked up at Hu Hai, the corner of his eye suddenly began to itch. Before he could lower his head, a tear had already slid down his cheek and fallen onto his hand.

"Mm." Hu Hai stood up, pulled a tissue from the tea table, and handed it to him.

Xiang Xi snatched the tissue and hurriedly rubbed at his eyes.

He was crying?

He hadn't even felt like crying. He was only disappointed. So why had the tears come?

"I thought..." Xiang Xi said with a smile as he clutched the tissue. "Don't laugh at me."

"I'm not," Hu Hai replied, sitting back down on the qin stool and gently plucking the strings. "I understand how you feel. I'm not your brother... that's disappointing, isn't it?"

Xiang Xi said nothing. He merely smiled in silence.

"Disappointment is a feeling too," Hu Hai said. "The fact that you can still be disappointed means you're still holding on to hope, doesn't it? It would be far worse if even disappointment disappeared."

"You..." Xiang Xi looked at him. "Do you still get disappointed?"

"I do." Hu Hai smiled faintly. "You're not my little brother. I'm disappointed too."

Those words completely shattered the composure Xiang Xi had only just managed to regain. The tears burst forth as though a floodgate had been thrown open.

"Did I say something wrong?" Hu Hai stopped playing, looking at him helplessly. "Xiang Xi, don't cry."

"I'm fine." Xiang Xi stood up, covering his eyes with his arm. "I just feel a little... wronged."

Without waiting for Hu Hai to speak again, he turned and walked into the little kitchen. Turning on the faucet, he leaned over the sink and vigorously splashed water onto his face.

Wronged.

He didn't know why he felt wronged.

Nor did he understand why something he had never truly pinned much hope on had provoked such an overwhelming reaction.

The sound of Hu Hai's qin began once more. Leaning against the edge of the sink with his arms, Xiang Xi listened quietly.

The pieces Hu Hai usually played were tranquil and slow. Even when they grew passionate or quick, they still sounded as though they were tearful—the only difference being whether the crying was restrained or uninhibited.

But this time, he wasn't playing anything Xiang Xi had heard before.

It was actually a tune Xiang Xi could hum along with.

After listening for only a couple of phrases, Xiang Xi laughed. Wiping his face with the hem of his shirt, he walked out of the little kitchen.

"'Step by Step Higher' (NT: Festive Chinese folk tune symbolizing prosperity and continual success)? It sounds like it's New Year's already..."

"Well?" Hu Hai asked. "Festive enough?"

"Yeah." Xiang Xi nodded.

"Don't cry anymore in a minute," Hu Hai said while continuing to play. "Otherwise your master will think I bullied you."

"Don't worry." Xiang Xi smiled as he sat back down at the tea table and began boiling water. "I change expressions fast. It's one of my basic skills."

Old Lu arrived just as Xiang Xi finished brewing the tea. A young woman followed behind him.

Xiang Xi recognized her immediately. She was the same girl who had refused to let him enter the first time he had come seeking apprenticeship—the old master's granddaughter.

"Hi." She waved at him with a grin, then skipped over to Hu Hai and sat beside him. "Master Hai, play something graceful. Your former master scolded me today, and I'm in a bad mood."

"My granddaughter, Lu Miaoyu," Old Master Lu said as he sat opposite Xiang Xi with a cup of tea. "Don't mind her. Let's you and I have our chat."

"All right." Xiang Xi nodded.

Lu Miaoyu was actually much quieter than she looked. She simply sat there listening to Hu Hai play, occasionally wandering over to pour herself a cup of tea.

When Xiang Xi began preparing the second round of tea, she turned around, rested her arms on the back of her chair, watched him for a while, then held out her cup.

"Master, reward me with a cup."

"Why do you call everyone 'Master'?" Xiang Xi asked as he handed her a cup.

"Who says I do?" she replied with a smile. "I don't. I only call people 'Master' when they really seem like masters. You do."

"Thanks," Xiang Xi said. "I'll take that seriously."

"I mean it—it's a compliment," Lu Miaoyu said after taking a sip. "Watching you go through the whole tea ceremony looks amazing. You've got style. Feels like you've already graduated, doesn't it, Grandpa?"

Old Lu laughed for quite a while at that before taking another sip of tea. Looking at Xiang Xi, he said, "I'd say so."

"Huh?" Xiang Xi blinked. "You're not charging tuition, but you can't be this casual, can you? I've only been here a few times and you're already trying to get rid of me?"

"Who's trying to get rid of you?" Old Lu looked into his teacup. "It's time for you to get some practical experience."

"What do you mean?" Xiang Xi asked suspiciously.

"How about coming with me to the teahouse next time?" Old Master Lu said. "Yunshui Fanxin." (NT: litt. A Mortal Heart Among Clouds and Waters.)

"Me?" Xiang Xi was stunned. Yunshui Fanxin was an extremely high-end teahouse, frequented by people with extensive knowledge of tea. Old Master Lu's suggestion caught him completely off guard. "Just... sit off to the side?"

“Sit behind the tea table,” Old Master Lu said, looking at him with obvious disdain. “You're usually such a quick-witted kid. How come the moment we talk about something serious, you become so slow?”

“What if I mess up? What if I ruin everything?” Xiang Xi suddenly grew nervous. Just imagining himself sitting there brewing tea while a group of tea connoisseurs watched him was enough to make him want to smash the teapot.

“You're working for free. If you ruin it, you ruin it,” Old Master Lu said breezily.

“If he ruins it, charge your master for it,” Hu Hai said from the side. “It's fine.”

“He smashed one before,” Lu Miaoyu immediately pointed at Hu Hai over her shoulder. “That's why he got expelled from the master's school. Now he makes a living by performing music.”

Xiang Xi burst out laughing and chuckled for quite a while.

“Quit making trouble,” Old Master Lu waved her off. “I'm talking business with Xiang Xi.”

“Then you two go ahead.” Lu Miaoyu turned back around and continued listening to Hu Hai play.

Old Master Lu really was serious. He planned to take Xiang Xi to Yunshui Fanxin and leave half the session for Xiang Xi himself, so he could experience it firsthand.

The more Xiang Xi listened, the more apprehensive he became. It was true that he was already very proficient at brewing tea, but Old Master Lu had never corrected his movements, always letting him do whatever felt most natural. As a result, he had no idea whether he actually measured up.

Old Master Lu, however, was completely confident. With a wave of his hand, he said, “Have you forgotten? Tea was never meant to be something rigidly bound by fixed forms. Everyone can drink tea, and everyone experiences it differently. What absolute standard could there possibly be?”

Xiang Xi said nothing.

“As long as people feel you've got style, that's enough,” Old Master Lu said. “Hasn't someone already said you do?”

With her back still turned to them, Lu Miaoyu raised a hand without even looking around. “I have.”

Xiang Xi stopped resisting. He figured he might as well give it a try. At worst, he would simply make a mess of it. Old Master Lu was in such high demand that people could hardly book him, so no one would probably complain.

After the tea lesson, Xiang Xi headed downstairs, feeling rather tired.

Cheng Boyan's car was already parked beneath the shade of the trees. He was sitting in the driver's seat, looking down at his phone.

Standing in front of the car, Xiang Xi realized how complicated his emotions had been all evening. Even while joking around with Old Master Lu and Lu Miaoyu, he hadn't really known what he himself had been thinking.

Only now, seeing Cheng Boyan, did everything suddenly feel real. His whole body relaxed. Fatigue, disappointment, an indescribable sense of loss, hope that still lingered, and countless feelings he wanted to talk about but didn't even know where to begin—all of it made him want nothing more than to lean against something for a while.

“Hey.” He slapped the hood of the car. “This is a robbery.”

Cheng Boyan looked up from inside the car. When he saw Xiang Xi, he smiled. “Get in.”

“You get out,” Xiang Xi said. “I don't feel like moving.”

Cheng Boyan opened the door, jumped out, and walked over to him. “What's wrong?”

“I'll tell you in a minute.” Xiang Xi leaned against him and wrapped his arms around his waist. “Just hug me first.”

“Mm.” Cheng Boyan didn't ask any questions. He simply held him tightly.

“Tighter.” Closing his eyes, Xiang Xi took a deep breath, drawing the familiar, reassuring scent of lemon from Cheng Boyan's body deep into his lungs.

Cheng Boyan tightened his embrace even more, holding him firmly.

The sense of security that came from being completely enveloped instantly allowed Xiang Xi to relax.

Once they got into the car, Xiang Xi reclined the seat and closed his eyes.

Before they had even reached the first intersection, Cheng Boyan heard the faint sound of snoring. Surprised, he turned his head and discovered that Xiang Xi had already fallen asleep.

He lowered the volume of the music playing in the car. He could already guess how tonight's “showing off his wealth” had ended. Xiang Xi's reaction told him everything.

In truth, it wasn't surprising. Cheng Boyan knew perfectly well that, in the vast sea of humanity, the chances of two brothers finding each other were so low they could practically be ignored.

But seeing Xiang Xi like this, he suddenly regretted it.

He was usually not an impulsive person, yet this time he had acted on the briefest glimpse of a pendant and recklessly dragged Xiang Xi into celebrating too soon.

He sighed softly. He had been far too impulsive.

When they got home, Xiang Xi silently went into the bathroom to take a shower.

Cheng Boyan sat in the living room, casually picked up a book and opened it, yet after a long while he still hadn't managed to read a single word.

When Xiang Xi came out of the bathroom, his hair was dripping wet. He hadn't even bothered drying it. Cheng Boyan watched the water dripping onto the floor without saying anything.

Xiang Xi sat down beside him, turned on the television, and after a few minutes quietly said, “Hu Hai isn't my brother. His little brother was already three years old when he disappeared.”

“I see,” Cheng Boyan replied softly.

“His pendant isn't the same as mine either. And when his brother disappeared, he wasn't wearing one like this.” Xiang Xi removed the jade pendant and wrapped the cord in a tissue, pressing it repeatedly to absorb the moisture.

“I didn't see it clearly enough.” Cheng Boyan gently squeezed the back of his neck.

“But it's nothing,” Xiang Xi said as he unfolded the tissue and looked at the pendant. “Didn't I already give a blood sample? Maybe they'll still find them.”

Before Cheng Boyan could respond, he added, “Or maybe there still won't be a match. But that's okay.”

Cheng Boyan didn't know what to say. He pulled Xiang Xi into his arms and rubbed his back firmly several times.

“I'm sorry. If I hadn't been so quick to mention Hu Hai's pendant, none of this would have happened. I wouldn't have gotten your hopes up only to disappoint you.”

“How can you blame yourself?” Xiang Xi rested his chin on Cheng Boyan's shoulder. “You only get disappointed because you had hope. Having hope is a good thing.”

“Mm.” Cheng Boyan gently patted his back again and again.

“Hu Hai said that,” Xiang Xi continued. “Doesn't it make a lot of sense? Hearing it made me feel a lot better.”

“Why don't you... ask him to be your older brother?”

The moment the words left his mouth, Cheng Boyan regretted them. He wished there were a rewind button so he could go back and sew his mouth shut.

“Hm?” Xiang Xi leaned back to look at him. “That wouldn't be so bad. It's just...”

“I was only joking,” Cheng Boyan hurriedly interrupted.

“Do you think he wouldn't agree?” Xiang Xi asked softly.

“No, no... that's not what I meant.” Cheng Boyan felt as though his IQ had recently been on a steady decline toward zero. “I was just saying it casually. You seriously want him to be your brother?”

“Why not?” Xiang Xi looked up at the ceiling light. “I think he'd make a good older brother. Kind of like you—gentle, and everything he says makes sense...”

“What do you mean, 'kind of like me'?” Cheng Boyan clicked his tongue. “I'm your boyfriend. Don't get the two mixed up.”

“Oh.” Xiang Xi thought for a moment, sat up straight, crossed his legs on the sofa, and stared at him for a long while. Then he suddenly burst into laughter. “Cheng Boyan.”

“What?”

“I finally get it.” Xiang Xi laughed so hard he could barely stop. “You're jealous, aren't you?”

Cheng Boyan remained silent. After a while, he leaned back against the sofa and let out a long sigh. “So you finally noticed?”

“You really were jealous?” Xiang Xi laughed even harder. “Good grief!”

“I've been working so hard, diligently and without complaint, being jealous all this time, and you're laughing at me?” Cheng Boyan said with a smile.

“No.” Xiang Xi rubbed his face. “Are you crazy? You can even get jealous of Hu Hai?”

“Who else was I supposed to be jealous of? Your master?”

“My master was quite the handsome man when he was young.” Xiang Xi laughed so hard he collapsed onto the sofa, resting his feet on Cheng Boyan's shoulder and swinging them. “He paints and does calligraphy too. Did you notice those calligraphy scrolls next to the tea cabinet last time you came? He wrote them all himself. He even said he'd paint a portrait for me someday...”

“Go on, hurry up and go,” Cheng Boyan said, brushing his feet away and giving him a couple of playful shoves. “Go find your master.”

“In a couple of days... no, tomorrow.” Xiang Xi thought about it and started laughing again.

“Why are you going again tomorrow?” Cheng Boyan blinked. “Extra lessons?”

“No.” Xiang Xi sat up, frowning. “Master said he's taking me out on a job... to Yunshui Fanxin. Do you think I can really do it?”

“You're starting tomorrow already?” Cheng Boyan was even more surprised than Xiang Xi had been.

“Mm. I won't get paid. He just wants me to try it and get a feel for it.” Xiang Xi rubbed his hands together. “Why do I suddenly feel so nervous?”

“You're amazing.” Cheng Boyan patted him. “Are you the earliest among all your master's disciples to finish training?”

“I haven't graduated yet. I still have a lot to learn. It's just for the experience.”

Even though he said so, besides the nervousness on his face, there was unmistakably a trace of pride he couldn't hide.

“Then go get that experience,” Cheng Boyan said with a smile. “Is it in the evening?”

“In the afternoon,” Xiang Xi replied. “There are too many customers at night. He was afraid I'd be nervous, so he picked the afternoon.”

“Then I won't be able to go.” Cheng Boyan sighed. “I'll miss your debut.”

“What's there to miss? If I really can do it, there'll be plenty of opportunities later.” Xiang Xi ran a hand through his hair and grinned. “Oh, Master's granddaughter called me 'Master' today.”

“Master Xiang Xixi, you don't understand. Missing it feels like missing my son's first performance.”

A spray of water droplets suddenly splashed across his face.

“Hey! Are you a sprinkler truck or something? Why don't you go water those pots of mint instead?”

“You're so fussy.” Xiang Xi stood up, went into the bathroom to dry his hair, then walked into the bedroom, picked up the little elephant-shaped watering can, and watered the mint plants. “Hey, did you buy this watering can for your son? It's so childish.”

“That's right,” Cheng Boyan replied as he walked into the bathroom. “My son seems to enjoy using it.”

As for going to Yunshui Fanxin, it was actually a good thing. It would at least distract Xiang Xi from his gloomy mood for a while.

Early the next morning, he set out the tea set Cheng Boyan had brought home and spent the morning practicing alone.

Though “practice” wasn't really the right word. There wasn't much to practice except brewing tea over and over again.

Just as Old Master Lu had said, there shouldn't be any fixed standard. The best way was simply whatever felt most natural. As long as there was sincerity, it was good tea.

Around noon, he suddenly remembered something important and hurriedly grabbed his phone to call Old Master Lu. “Master! What should I wear this afternoon?”

“Clothes,” Old Master Lu replied. It was impossible to tell whether he was genuinely being dense or deliberately teasing him.

“Could you not do this?” Xiang Xi frowned. “I mean... should I wear that sort of thing? I don't even know what to call it... like what you and Brother Hai wear.”

“Do you have any?” Old Master Lu asked.

“No.”

“Then what are you planning to wear if you don't even own one?”

“That's why I'm asking you!” Xiang Xi exclaimed.

“Just wear your usual clothes,” Old Master Lu laughed. “Look how nervous you are. It's fine. Anything will do.”

“So I can wear jeans?” Xiang Xi asked.

“Yes.” Old Master Lu sighed. “Don't forget everything I've told you every time you get nervous.”

“...All right, I know,” Xiang Xi said, steadying himself. “Tea is just tea. Drinking tea is just drinking tea. I got it.”

Around noon, someone unexpectedly delivered lunch.

When the delivery man called and asked him to come downstairs to collect it, Xiang Xi almost thought it was either a scam or another trap set by Uncle Ping.

“Mr. Cheng ordered this meal,” the delivery man said. “He said it's for his son.”

“His son? I... I'm coming down.”

After hanging up, Xiang Xi changed his shoes while muttering under his breath, “Damn, he's really addicted to that now.”

Cheng Boyan had ordered lunch from the Hong Kong-style tea restaurant just across the street from their apartment complex. He quite liked their food, so today he had ordered several dim sum dishes and a soup for Xiang Xi.

Carrying the take-out upstairs, Xiang Xi sent Cheng Boyan a text message. Lunch received, Dad.

Cheng Boyan didn't reply, probably because he was too busy.

In an excellent mood, Xiang Xi sat cross-legged on the sofa, eating while watching television.

Only after he had finished did he notice a large drop of soup on the sofa. “Oh, shit! I'm dead!”

Panicked, he hurriedly cleared away the containers and leaned over the sofa, carefully inspecting it.

After checking for nearly two minutes, he confirmed that there was only that single drop. But the sofa was upholstered in coarse linen fabric, and once soup soaked into it, it couldn't simply be wiped away with a tissue.

He felt rather depressed.

Although Cheng Boyan usually removed the sofa covers every few months and sent them to the cleaners, this set had only been put on less than twenty days ago.

And the stain was in such an obvious place. Right on Cheng Boyan's usual seat.

After struggling with it for quite a while, he still couldn't remove the stain.

Just then Old Master Lu called to say the car had already arrived nearby and told him to come outside.

He had no choice but to place a cushion over the soup stain, grab his bag, and hurry out.

Old Master Lu had said the car would be parked at the entrance to the residential complex. As soon as Xiang Xi stepped through the gate and looked around, the only vehicle he saw was a white Audi Q7.

He was hesitating whether to walk over and check when someone inside honked the horn. A head then poked out from the driver's seat and waved at him.

When Xiang Xi recognized Hu Hai, he was genuinely surprised. To be honest, neither Hu Hai nor Old Master Lu seemed like the sort of people who would drive an Audi Q7.

Walking over, he looked the vehicle over. “Whose car is this?”

“It’s your master’s,” Hu Hai said. “Get in.”

“My master owns a car this nice? He…” Xiang Xi opened the door and climbed into the back seat. The moment he plopped down, he turned his head and realized someone was sitting beside him. Looking more closely, he saw a pair of sunglasses and an air that made him look like a mafia boss. He froze for a second. “Mas… Master?”

“You’re here,” Old Master Lu said.

“It’s cloudy today.” Xiang Xi glanced out the window, then waved a hand in front of his eyes. “How many fingers am I holding up?”

“Stop fooling around,” Old Master Lu said with a smile. “My eyes are bothering me today. Whenever the wind blows, they keep watering.”

“Did you not sleep well?” Xiang Xi leaned closer, trying to peek behind his sunglasses. “Shouldn’t you go to the hospital? I have a friend who works there.”

“No need. It happens all the time.” Old Master Lu patted his leg. “Today you'll be the one doing it for most of the session. When it's about time to wrap up, I'll take over for about ten minutes.”

“What?” Xiang Xi was stunned.

Old Master Lu normally performed for an entire hour. Xiang Xi had assumed he'd only be asked to take over for the last ten minutes or so. He had never imagined the schedule would be completely reversed.

Old Master Lu merely smiled without saying anything.

“Good luck!” Hu Hai called from the front seat.

There was no longer any time to argue. Before Xiang Xi could even sort out the confusion caused by the sudden change of plans, the car had already pulled up behind Yunshui Fanxin.

The woman in the floral dress who had introduced the teas to guests the last time Xiang Xi visited was standing at the entrance. Seeing their car arrive, she smiled and gave them a slight bow.

As Xiang Xi stepped out of the car, he glanced at Old Master Lu.

Normally, the old man never wore sunglasses. But today, dressed in his traditional Chinese jacket and wearing dark shades, he suddenly looked like a mafia boss taking a junior associate and a driver also serving as a bodyguard out for some entertainment.

“Master Lu, welcome,” the woman said with a smile.

“I thought you weren't here. This is the disciple I told you about—Xiang Xi.” Old Master Lu smiled, pointing at Xiang Xi before introducing the woman in return. “This is Peng Yunfan, the owner of Yunshui Fanxin.”

The owner?

A woman?

“Nice to meet you.” Peng Yunfan smiled and extended her hand.

Xiang Xi quickly stepped forward and shook it. “Nice to meet you, Boss Peng.”

“I'm planning to let Xiang Xi handle today's session,” Old Master Lu said. “You don't have any objections, do you?”

“Of course not. If he's your disciple, why would we object?” Peng Yunfan turned to Xiang Xi. “Then I'll be counting on you today.”

“It's no trouble,” Xiang Xi replied.

As long as I don't completely blow it, that'll already be a success...

Since there was still some time before the session began, Peng Yunfan invited them into her lounge to wait.

Walking at the back of the group, Xiang Xi glanced into the room where he had watched Old Master Lu prepare tea during his last visit.

Seven or eight guests were already seated inside, chatting over tea.

There weren't that many people, and Xiang Xi quietly breathed a sigh of relief.

Just as he was about to turn away, one of the guests seated by the window suddenly raised a hand and waved at him.

Xiang Xi stared in surprise.

Song Yi?

“Brother Song?” he asked quietly as he moved closer to the window. Then he noticed Lin He sitting across from him. “What are you two doing here?”

“Boyan asked us to come cheer you on,” Lin He said with a smile.

The moment he heard Cheng Boyan's name and saw Song Yi and Lin He sitting there, warmth flooded Xiang Xi's chest. More than half of the nervousness that had been weighing on him instantly melted away.

He lightly tapped the windowsill with his fingers and said with a grin, “Thanks. Just watch me later.”

 

Translator : DarNan