829.
Lost, utterly lost.
Not only had the show aired live, the TV station had also released an edited rebroadcast, packed with hilarious moments and explosive highlights. Although the main focus was, of course, on the lead couple, trimming away a good portion of the wolfdog duo and of Gu Yiliang and me, the addition of comic sound effects and at times mesmerizing background music made it all so thrilling that even I got goosebumps watching it.

And yet—on the supertopic, nothing.
Just the usual empty chatter and daily check-in posts.

It had already been four days!

Not only was there no reaction, even the usual regulars who hunted for our cute daily crumbs were nowhere to be seen. The whole thing gave off a strange feeling, like every house had shut its doors and the streets were deserted.

No, it wasn’t just a feeling. The comment section under the show’s video felt downright weird. Each time a random viewer asked: “Is this queerbaiting?” or “Are they planning to come out?”, a whole horde would immediately swarm in to set the record straight:

“Of course not, they’re just really good brothers, it’s proof of friendship!”
“Of course not, they’re just really good brothers, it’s all the result of the show’s evil editing!”
“Of course not, they’re just really good brothers, don’t let yourselves be brainwashed by hysterical CP fans!”

And the funniest thing? Nearly all of these comments came from accounts associated with Niangzi Army.

Their tone was so confident, their logic so airtight, they completely steam-rolled the hardcore CP fans who usually dominated the comments section.

 

830.
Taking advantage of a short break between scenes, I curled up on my little stool, staring at my phone and scrolling blankly through Weibo.

Where exactly had it gone wrong?

With a performance that grand, shouldn’t the fans have been over the moon, celebrating with fireworks, lighting up the streets like it was a national holiday?

Had the Niangzi Army… just dissolved on the spot?

 

831.
My eyes full of confusion, I hesitated for a moment before opening the Niangzi group chat, which I rarely checked.

The instant the page loaded, the messages shot past at lightning speed, like 80 km/h on the speedometer—one-liners, absurd jokes, all sprinkled with sweet sugar in every form imaginable. I was completely dumbfounded.

Uh… actually, it was pretty lively?

Every few lines, the same sentence kept popping up: “Everyone must follow the group announcement!!!”

Raising an eyebrow, curiosity piqued, I opened the announcement.

And my eyes were immediately assaulted by a screen full of exclamation marks.

What on earth was this? Had the trend of all-caps text come back?

I stared hard at the screen and read carefully.

 

832.
What was this business about the rusted lock of an iron box?
What did it mean to say that the soul of the Niangzi Army had been sealed away inside a shell, never to be opened?
Why were they talking about the key being ground into powder to brew coffee, each drop holding an intoxicating flavour that lingered forever?

They were way too deep into their musical delusions!

But the most important part was…

Why did it mention the Niangzi Army fighting heroically in a field of reeds?
Why did it say that “those two idiots had gone too far and the moms had no choice but to cover for them”??

 

833.
I was completely at a loss.

Gu Yiliang and I… had we just been shoved back into the closet by the very same group of girls who usually prayed day and night for us to get married?

Gu Yiliang and I, hand in hand, had barely cracked the closet door open, and they had slammed it shut before running away?

Gu Yiliang and I had shouted at the top of our lungs: “Look at us! Our CP is real!”—and they had carefully wrapped us up, folded us away, and tucked us neatly into a drawer, before turning to the gathered crowd to say: “They’re just a couple of kids playing around, don’t take it seriously hahaha.”

834.
I went back into the group chat and, under the announcement, tried posting a message:

Yantastic: “They really are together, there’s no need to be this anxious.”

Immediate reply:

Liang Yue Wuyan: “Did that even need to be pointed out? Right now is a sensitive period, what exactly are you implying with that message? You trying to stir chaos?”

【You have been removed from the group.】

 

835.
Fuck.

 

836.
This was the second time!
The second time they’d kicked me out!

Why did my own CP fan group keep booting me? Did they all have some kind of protagonist expulsion syndrome?!

What kind of twisted logic was it, that I couldn’t be included in my own ship?!

The Niangzi Army: fun and celebration for everyone, loneliness for me alone?!

If I said we weren’t together, I got kicked.
If I said we were together, I got kicked.

So what exactly was I supposed to do, huh?!

You know what—fine. You’re all officially uninvited from my wedding!

 

837.
Still fuming, I got a private message from WilLiam, the group’s mediator. This time, I opened it.

WilLiam: “Little Neinei (TN: maternal grandma), don’t be mad. Liang Yue is just like that—kind of extreme—but she doesn’t mean any harm.”

Yantastic: “…Little Neinei?”

WilLiam: “…Initiated one?”

Yantastic: “…”

WilLiam: “Ah, you watched the show, right? Me, I was so hyped, but they’ve all gotten so paranoid I didn’t even dare bring it up in the group.”

Yantastic: “…Of course I was hyped, it was based on your text. What are you even afraid of??”

WilLiam: “No, no, that wasn’t what hyped me up! It was… ah, I was eating a midnight snack, and I spilled a whole bowl of spicy noodles on my dad’s head!!”

Yantastic: “…Your family’s table arrangement sure is… unique, huh?”

WilLiam: “No, that’s not the point! Aaah, I really wanted to share it with everyone, but I couldn’t!!!”

Yantastic: “…”

WilLiam: “I couldn’t hold it in, I had to tell you!! But don’t tell anyone else, okay?!”

Yantastic: “…Okay.”

 

838.
WilLiam: “I found out that Yanyan read my fic!!”

Me: “…………………………”

What kind of earth-shattering, space-time-ripping cataclysm was this supposed to be?!

Yantastic: “Impossible, he’s too busy filming, he wouldn’t have had time for that.”

WilLiam: “No, listen! What I sent to the show was an edited version, with different lines. But!! Yanyan recited the original version!! The one I posted on Lofter!!”

WilLiam: “He’s got an amazing memory, he barely looked at the show’s script, he just acted it out by remembering the original!!”

WilLiam: “I was curled up in a fetal position.”

WilLiam: “Ahhh, it feels so good to let this out, I feel so much lighter now.”

 

839.
With no table in front of me, I slammed my phone hard against the floor.

Xiao Chen jumped, hurried to pick it up, wiped the cracked screen, then turned to me and whispered anxiously: “Why are you suddenly upset? Did Gu-ge upset you?”

I rubbed my forehead and shook my head.

Xiao Chen worried: “Your fontanel didn’t close properly?”

I put a hand over my chest and shook my head again.

Xiao Chen panicked: “Heart attack?!”

I changed position, holding my belly, and shook my head again.

Xiao Chen freaked out: “Your water broke?!”

Me: “…”

“Then tell me what’s wrong, for crying out loud!”

Me: “Actually, everything was wrong. Now, everything’s fine. Thanks.”

 

840.
A million WilLiams didn’t give me half the headache that one Xiao Chen did.
I glanced around, hoping to soothe myself by admiring Gu Yiliang’s beautiful profile, but when I couldn’t find him, I asked Xiao Chen: “Where’s your Gu-ge?”
Xiao Chen burst out laughing: “Oh my, my Gu-ge? He’s your Gu-ge~”
Me: “…”
Xiao Chen: “Alright, alright, I’ll stop teasing you. I haven’t seen him. But hey, he hasn’t been sticking to you as much these past few days. Are you guys having a couple’s crisis?”
My gaze froze.
Sensing danger, Xiao Chen instantly fled out of my line of sight.

 

841.
It was true… I hadn’t really run into him much on set these past few days.
But in the mornings and evenings, he was always there, firmly anchored by my side.
After filming, either we wandered around the film city together, talking about everything from poetry and songs to the philosophy of life, or we curled up in the hotel room in front of a screen, devouring snacks and binge-watching shows.
We had explored all the little restaurants in the area: the good dishes we praised, the bad ones we cursed roundly.
At night, he helped me with my acting, and I helped him with his diction.
Once, he had even quietly spent the night in my room…
We were just as close and in sync as ever.
If Xiao Chen hadn’t mentioned it, I wouldn’t even have noticed.
And yet danger still hovered around me, drifting like an invisible breeze.
Leaning on my hand, I stared at the cracks on my phone screen with a trace of unease.

Could it be… that the honeymoon phase was already over?
It had only been a few days—barely two weeks—and we’d already fallen into routine?
Had we burned too fast, running out of fuel?
Had we flaunted our affection too recklessly on the show, to the point of exhausting our quota of sweetness?
Or was this divine punishment for showing too much?

 

842.
I let out a sigh—when suddenly, a chill brushed against my cheek.
Gu Yiliang was standing behind me, pressing a bottle of iced tea to my face. Then he handed it to me: “Running your lines?”
“No, I was just lost in thought.”
I tapped the little heart sticker on the bottle with my finger, a smile blooming quietly inside me. He hadn’t changed.
He nodded absentmindedly, eyes glued to something on his phone.

…Wait.
Why the sudden cold shoulder?!

I stood up, dragged over a chair, and forced him to sit down. In my mind, I set up an interrogation room with a blinding spotlight trained on him.
With a tone of feigned nonchalance, I asked: “So… what have you been up to these days?”
He flinched, rubbed the tip of his nose out of habit, then waved a little vaguely: “…Nothing much.”
Narrowing my eyes, I drew out my tone: “Rea~lly?”

 

843.
Despite being an excellent actor, Gu Yiliang was a terrible liar.
Now that I thought about it, he had never lied to me.
Sure enough, the moment I dragged out that word, he froze instantly, like someone had hit a reset button. A little nervous, he fluttered his lashes while staring at me.

He hesitated: “Uh… how about we talk about it tonight, in private?”
There was something!

In my mind, a blaring alarm went off at once.
I put on a solemn face: “Alright, no problem. Tell me now.”
He looked awkward: “This isn’t really the best place to talk about it…”

In a split second, I hauled him straight into the break room.

Flustered, he stammered: “You really want to talk about this now? I was planning to—”
“Now.”

 

844.
Face to face, Gu Yiliang and I stood there.
He lifted his hands, put them down, hesitated about where to place them, and finally rested them solemnly on my shoulders.
Wait… what was he trying to do? Revive me like some walking corpse?
Every time he dropped his usual “Gu Yiliang the charmer” mode and reverted to that clumsy, awkward self, it stressed me out to no end.
He opened his mouth, faltered, closed it again, then fixed me with an intense stare.
…But this was dragging on forever—I was going to suffocate if I kept holding my breath!
At last, he spoke: “…I…I want to change our current relationship.”

Me: “?”
He wanted… to break up with me??!

Inside my head, it was the apocalypse—a full-on end-of-the-world scene, 2012 in 3D remastered.

Keeping my composure, I asked calmly: “…Why?”

Caught off guard, he stammered: “…Huh?”

“…Are you satisfied with our current relationship?” he asked, clearly struggling.

Me: “? Why wouldn’t I be?”
Him: “? How could you be?!”
Me: “? How could I not be?!”
Him: “? How could it possibly be—”

 

845.
Me: “Wait, wait! This is a mess! Fine, whatever, satisfaction isn’t the point. Let me sort this out—”
Him: “Go ahead, sort it out.”

 

846.
I looked at him—his eyes full of confusion, yet still brimming with deep affection.
Lost in thought, I quickly replayed in my mind: our first meeting, our growing closeness, our chemistry… and finally, us becoming a couple.
And then, suddenly, a revelation struck me.
From the very beginning… had we actually been completely out of sync?!

Narrowing my eyes, I grabbed him by the collar and demanded: “…In your opinion, what exactly is our relationship right now?”

Startled, he hesitated: “…A…a financial sponsor?”

Me: …
Me: !!!!!!!!

 

847.
So that was it!!
He actually thought I was keeping him!!!
At last—our frequencies had lined up!!

 

848.
So that day, when I said I wanted to go to his place, he thought I was going to seduce him—that’s why he suddenly tensed up!
When he got out of the car and instantly calmed down, that was him accepting it!
When he hugged me before suggesting we play an online game, that was his final desperate struggle of heterosexual resistance!
When he acted strangely while drunk, it was because he had finally made up his mind!

Everything made sense!!!

I thought I’d been living out a story where a straight guy fell in love against all odds… but in reality, it was a tale of love born from a sugar-baby contract?!

So Gu Yiliang was also following that romantic cliché—the caged bird who falls in love with his wealthy patron?!
And me, with my poor little heart pounding with genuine love… he had the nerve to mistake it for a mere contract?!

This was way too unfair!!

 

849.
My expression must have looked so wounded that Gu Yiliang lost all composure.
He looked at me, hesitant, wanted to hug me but didn’t dare, and in the end, just gave me a tentative pat on the shoulder.

—PAT ME ON THE SHOULDER?! Seriously, could you be any worse?!

I stared at him, soul crushed, struggling to find something to say…

When suddenly, there was a knock at the break room door.

 

Translator : DarNan