708.
Scenario: Gu Yiliang, a little nervous, a little embarrassed, but also a little excited, invites you to watch a movie.
Question: What do you do?
Answer: I don’t know about you, but as for me—if he so much as gives me the slightest smile, then whether it’s going to the movies or running away together, I wouldn’t hesitate for a second. I’d grab my things, take his hand, and run with him toward our eternal happiness, never looking back.

 

709.
I paced the break room like a hyperactive fly, rubbing my hands together as I got ready. I pulled on a huge black mask, grabbed a turtleneck coat, and wrapped myself up in a thick scarf—
Why the hell weren’t there gas masks or facial masks in this break room?!
Just as I was seriously considering pulling a pair of stockings over my head, Gu Yiliang, amused, snapped me out of it with a light tap and plopped a cap onto my head.
“We’re going to watch a movie, not rob a bank. A cap is more than enough.”
I protested: “But—”
He cut me off: “Dressed like that, you’re either going to get arrested by the police or hauled off by some overly helpful citizen.”
I was speechless.
He stripped me of my scarf and coat, and as I stood there thinking, my eyes landed on the makeup kit that had miraculously survived Xiao Chen’s raid…

 

710.
Gu Yiliang sat obediently in the chair while I busied myself with his face. He asked, curious: “You know how to do makeup?”
“A little,” I said, thickening and lowering his brows before adjusting the shape of his eyes. “Some concealer, a touch of corrector, a few tweaks… looks more presentable when you have to face people.”
He watched me and commented: “I never even notice you wear makeup.”
—Straight guy remark #1.
“Honestly, it doesn’t look that different from your natural face.”
—Straight guy remark #2.
“But either way, you’re handsome even without makeup.”
—Straight guy remark #3.
“You’re handsome no matter what.”
I rolled my eyes. “…Okay, okay, if you don’t know how to compliment, just stop talking.”
No sooner had I finished than he leaned in, stole a quick kiss, and smiled. “Alright, I’ll shut up.”

 

711.
I was defeated.
How could I have forgotten his ability to string together the most illogical actions?
Conflicted, I crossed my arms and gave him a solemn bow.
He blinked, then bowed back before innocently asking: “So now? Are we sealing our union before heaven and earth?” (NT: allusion to an old Chinese wedding ritual where couples bow to heaven, earth and each other to formalize marriage)
I was left speechless.

 

712.
Xiao Chen pushed the door open and stopped dead when he saw me. “Why are your cheeks red?”
My heart, captured and dipped in honey by Gu Yiliang, was pounding wildly. I replied with a silly grin: “I’m in great shape.”
Xiao Chen shifted poses and, in an exaggerated tone, declared: “So—you’re Colonel Xu’s man?!” (NT: reference to Lian Jian, heroic colonel in a famous Chinese war novel by Du Liang, also adapted into a TV drama).
My heart sobered instantly. I shot him a cold look. “Get lost.”

 

713.
Once my masterpiece was done, I stepped back to examine the result. Perfect. With those redrawn brows, a mask covering the lower half of his face, and neatly styled hair—not even the empress herself could recognize him.
Then Gu Yiliang snatched the makeup kit from my hands. “My turn.”
I stared at him, dubious. “You know how?”
He answered with confidence: “I watched what you did, it didn’t look that hard.”

 

714.
Sitting with my back to the mirror, I watched him lower his eyes while carefully drawing my brows, and my heart filled with endless tenderness.
Sure, the makeup he was giving me wasn’t… exactly flattering, but sharing this kind of moment—it was just unbelievably sweet.
Xiao Chen was watching us with an expression that wavered between astonishment and confusion.
Gu Yiliang, absorbed in his task, let out a small sigh of regret. “Too bad my phone’s broken. Otherwise, I would’ve posted this on Weibo.”
This guy—he couldn’t feel at ease unless he was posting something… Who could tell if he just wanted to polish his public image, or if he genuinely wanted to exhibit our closeness?
His fans must’ve burned incense for years to be blessed with an idol this dedicated to their happiness.
I sighed inwardly, suppressed my laughter, then thought for a moment. Finally, I pulled up the Weibo login page on my phone and handed it to him. “Here, use my account.”
He took the phone, logged in within seconds, then immediately passed it to Xiao Chen. “Can you take a picture of us?”
Xiao Chen accepted the phone with an expression even more baffled than before.

 

715.
It wasn’t until I saw Gu Yiliang stop tapping on the phone and press the upper right corner of the screen that it suddenly hit me—
SuperStarFans was still turned on!!!
Even though he had once mistaken me for one of his fans, getting caught with a SuperStarFans notification mid-alert was utterly mortifying! What kind of hidden treasure was this?!
At that exact moment, a notification buzzed on the phone. I snatched it out of his hands in one swift motion.
Gu Yiliang blinked, his eyes briefly flicking to my screen before he let out a soft laugh. He ruffled my hair. “Go on, keep doing the makeup.”
Looked like it slid right past him. Relieved, I let him resume his masterpiece on my face.
Xiao Chen glanced at me like he wanted to say something, but held back.

 

716.
I sighed. “Xiao Chen, if you’ve got something to say, just say it now—”
He fidgeted nervously. “Stop gloating and look at yourself in the mirror, quick, quick, quick! If you wait, it’ll be too late!”

 

717.
I looked at my reflection.
The romantic euphoria evaporated instantly.
After pulling off my own eyebrows that looked like dried seaweed and somehow making myself even uglier, I adjusted my mask and cap with a resigned air before heading out with Gu Yiliang.
Once we were in the car, he reached over and lightly tapped me with his fingertip. “Sorry. My intentions were good, but my skills didn’t match.”
I was crushed by the fact that I had trusted a straight man. “Such horrible makeup is—”
Before I could finish, he cut me off by stealing a kiss. Then, brushing the corner of my lips with the tip of his tongue, he smiled. “Shut up, you’re handsome no matter what.”
I froze. “…!”
Not only could he spin wild exaggerations, he could lie with a perfectly straight face. Impressive. Truly the man capable of turning me gay.
My throat tightened with emotion, to the point I almost forgot he was the culprit behind my disastrous makeup. In a reckless impulse, I leaned over and kissed his cheek.
It was only once I came back to my senses that I realized he was already focused back on driving.
Me: “….”

 

718.
He could always mess me up, no matter the situation!
My throat tightened again, this time from frustration—frustration at myself for being so weak!
Tonight, I had to turn the tables! I had to launch a counterattack and seize control! Wash away the shame of being seduced so easily!
I fixed my gaze on his profile as he focused on the road, while the little me inside clenched his fists in determination.
And as I thought all that through, I found myself grinning like an idiot.
—It’s sweet. So, so sweet.

 

719.
The car sped along the road, the atmosphere warm. Even the night breeze alone was enough to make one’s heart race.
So… why not add a soundtrack to perfect the moment?
I took the initiative to open up his playlist of Top 50 English love classics.
Gu Yiliang, hands on the wheel, glanced at me swaying along with the music and chuckled. “I thought you didn’t like these songs. Last time I took you, you looked like you were suffering.”
That’s because last time, I wasn’t in love yet!

 

720.
I opened my mouth to reply, but stopped just in time.

…Wait, what?
Based on what he just said… These songs—he really picked them specifically for me?!
I stared at him, eyes wide. “You selected these songs especially for me?”
He rubbed the tip of his nose, a little embarrassed. “…Yeah. That day, I planned to take you… uh, out to eat.”
Me: “…?”
Me: “….”
Oh, it clicked.
The idiot who had booked an entire fine-dining restaurant and even hired a violinist.

 

721.
Whether it was for fanservice or genuinely trying to court me, the result was the same: I had fallen for it.
Wave after wave, the sweet romance washed over me, making me smile softly. “Mmh, actually, it’s not bad.”
He nodded and, taking advantage of a red light, ran his hand through my hair. Then, a bit nervous, he added seriously, “The lyrics… that’s all I wanted to tell you.”
Me: ? Well, then just say it directly!
So convoluted! Honestly, he could’ve compiled all these love lines into a “romance.rar” and sent it to me in a message!
But despite that thought, I couldn’t stop replaying the song lyrics in my head. A genuine avalanche of implicit declarations.
My heart floated in a sugary cloud. I reached out and placed my hand over his, still resting on the gear shift.
Just as the light turned green, he paused slightly before pressing the accelerator.

 

722.
The melodies continued, and the romantic mood reached its peak.
Having learned this subtle seduction technique through indirect words, I started humming Close To You, then leaned slightly toward him.
Applying my newfound strategy, I said, “Guess why I’m leaning toward you? Hint: it has to do with the song.”
My timid inner self: Because I want to be close to you~
He turned the wheel, thought for a second, then cautiously suggested, “Because… the bass is too strong, and if you don’t lean, you might get thrown back?”
Me: “….”
My timid inner self: “….”
The romantic atmosphere, wave after wave, dissipated.

 

723.
Did he have some kind of total immunity to seduction or what?!
As for me, I was 100% receptive—and suffering critical damage!!!

 

724.
Blank stare, heart in pieces, I watched Gu Yiliang park the car in front of a slightly remote Apple Store.
He asked me to stay in the car without moving, then went inside.
I watched his silhouette fade away and sighed inwardly—
How could my boyfriend be both insensitive to romance and the very embodiment of it at the same time?
Was this a cosmic injustice, or was he simply an idiot whose clumsiness had become a weapon of mass seduction?
Either way, his character remained an unsolvable enigma to me.
It took him a while to return. Bored, I grabbed my phone and saw two unread SuperStarFans notifications.
I already knew he had probably @-mentioned me, but I hadn’t seen his post yet. I clicked to open it.

 

725.
@GuYiliang_Liam: “Your gentle breath [light breeze] [light breeze] [laugh] [laugh] @WeiYanZi_William”
Attached image: Gu Yiliang, in a dressing room, leaning over me while drawing my eyebrows. Perfect composition, harmonious tone. Me, with two huge dried seaweed strips where my eyebrows should be, bathed in an iodine-scented atmosphere.
Me: “………………………………………”

 

726.
A master! A king! A top-tier player!
This implicit statement was exquisitely subtle—perfectly balancing humor, boldness, and seduction.
I bow. Completely. He’s literally forcing me to drink the chalice of romance to the dregs?!!
My phone had only been in his hands for a few minutes, and in that short time, he managed to:

1. See my post.

2. Understand it.

3. Find an appropriate reference.

4. Post his own version.
   
   Is he an undercover agent among shippers or what?!

Photo together, @ makeup, subtle teasing, coded message… and he even reused the same song!!!
“The flowers told me how you passed by…”
I can’t take it anymore.
Gu Yiliang hadn’t even left the window cracked when he went inside. I remained curled up in the car, one hand on my chest, literally hyperventilating from too much sweetness.
Insulin wasn’t enough; I needed respiratory assistance.

 

727.
Gu Yiliang came back, nose in his phone, and got into the car.
He turned to me: “Sorry for the wait—wait, what’s wrong with you?!”
I was still frozen in a far-too-suspicious posture, unable to recover in time. So, in a last-ditch reflex, I blamed the lack of air and started frantically pointing at the window.
He hurried to open it.
I took long, exaggerated breaths, as if I had just escaped drowning, then, with a pitiful pout, accused: “Were you trying to suffocate me or what!”
He leaned toward me and performed several “artificial breaths”—sorry, several kisses. Then, laughing, he pinched my cheek: “If you want a kiss, just say so.”
In shock, I almost genuinely went into full hyperventilation.
His seductive power and ability to distort my intentions surpassed even my imagination.

 

728.
What a king, what a master of the game!
Once again, I lost!
No… wait. Do I even stand a chance against him?!

 

729.
The car restarted, but my mind was in complete chaos.
I poked him with my finger. Once. Twice. Then, with a hint of suspicion, I asked: “Hey, have you done fanservice for others before?”
He blinked: “Huh? No, never.”
Me: ?
Me: …Then why are you so good at it?!!
I tried to regain my composure: “…Oh. By the way, you listen to Cheer Chen too?” (NT: Taiwanese singer-songwriter and musician)
Him: “Yeah, why?”
Before I could reply, he tilted his head slightly toward me and smiled: “You saw my post, right?”
Before I could respond again, he continued: “This song is pretty obscure; I was afraid you wouldn’t know it.”
Me: ?
Me: …?

 

730.
Wait…
So he didn’t see my Weibo post?!!

 

Translator : DarNan