I ship my adversary x me - Chapter 31 - This matter must remain secret.

540.
Today, I couldn’t find a single reason to behave normally.
Ever since this morning, when Gu Yiliang handed me a bottle of tea with a little heart drawn on it to start the day, it was already certain that this would not be an ordinary day.

 

541.
Ranked TOP 1 on the list of “CP fans who must never expose their identities – World Ranking”,
the one most often teased by Gu Yiliang to the point of suffocation,
the one embodying the concept of “a hundred failed flirts for every hundred successful ones”,
and the very first to sincerely enjoy the candy and willingly “bend.”

With such dazzling titles, I could only be TOP 1 in the “golden ranking” in the eyes of the public,
and I was honored with a “Ying” from the King of Flirt himself, Gu Yiliang.
(NT: “Ying” is a soft, plaintive sound of affection.)

This “Ying,” as melodious and pleasing as a celestial hymn, carried a profound and important meaning for me.
It was recognition and affirmation from me, respect and encouragement from him.

 

542.
We had promised mutual commercial flirting, love to keep the business running, and joy together.
At last, I had achieved it.

I felt lightened, my eyes sparkled, I held Gu Yiliang’s hand, tears brimming: “Are you happy?”

Gu Yiliang looked at me with uncertainty: “I… am I supposed to be happy?”

I gazed at him with burning eyes, shaking his hand up and down: “I’m very happy.”

 

543.
This was a small step for me personally, but a giant leap for shifting the positioning of the CP.
From this moment on, I would no longer be Wei Yanzi, the one who could only endure the flirting.

The signal for counterattack had been given, and I joyfully held Gu Yiliang’s hand, looking into his eyes, as if through his dark pupils I could see a bright and open future where I would stand above—

Suddenly, a very soft, delicate female voice rose not far away: “Ying.”

 

544.
Gu Yiliang and I both turned toward the sound.
Just as we moved at the same time, another “Ying” followed.

My gaze hardened: Eh! Where did this “Ying Ying” monster come from?!

From this day forward, I would not allow anyone other than Gu Yiliang to make “Ying Ying” noises in front of me!

 

545.
A very young-looking girl stood in a shaded corner in the distance, holding a meal thermos in one hand and covering her mouth with the other, eyes wide open, staring at us.

From her gaze, I could clearly read a sentence— “Mom, my ship is real.”

And behind her, a massive pink skyscraper.

I confirmed with a glance: she was a Niangzi fan.

 

546.
I instantly found a reason to return everything back to normal.

I immediately put on my public idol face— elegant yet approachable, approachable yet spirited, spirited yet composed— and gave her a polite nod.

 

547.
You think that now, in this kind of situation, I would react as I used to, in confusion?
Ha, naïve, and gravely mistaken.

Calmness and self-control are essential qualities for those at the top.

The way I held Gu Yiliang’s hand was like a meeting between national leaders— not a trace of impropriety, just a nod, leaving the rest to the girl’s imagination.
Being secretly photographed was no problem.
It posed no threat.

After all, we were at a hospital. If handled well, it could even strengthen our image of “mutual affection and support.”

With clear logic and careful thought, all while keeping my position as a CP fan, I calmly considered how best to handle this situation to maximize the benefits. I felt I was one step closer to holding the upper ground.

 

548.
Just as I was about to beckon the girl over, to stage a scene of “CP leads pampering fans” within the bounds of the script, Gu Yiliang suddenly raised his hand at me in a “calm down” gesture, lowered his mask, mouthed a “don’t be afraid,” then gave me a look that said “I’ll handle this,” before striding straight toward the girl.

Why did it feel like the long note of my counterattack had suddenly cut off?

I felt dizzy: Hiss… this reliable feeling, hiss… this peace flooding my body, hiss… this—

Before I could finish my third sentence, the entire situation collapsed before my eyes.

 

549.
I saw Gu Yiliang stop in front of the girl, raise his index finger to his lips, wink, and smile: “We have to keep this a secret, okay?”

The girl immediately slapped her hands over her mouth, squeaking and nodding like she was laying foundations.

Me: ………………………………

My lock! No wait, I misspoke—my knife! Where’s my knife?!
(NT: the “lock” symbolizes WY’s initial determination to keep things hidden.)

Indeed, the self-control and composure of a superior were not for me.

Dragging my sick body, I stumbled toward them, intent on hauling Gu Yiliang away and shoving him into a toilet bowl to flush him from existence.

 

550.
Although the distance was only a few steps, and I wasn’t moving that slowly, no matter how fast my pace, it couldn’t
surpass Gu Yiliang’s tongue.

Gu Yiliang didn’t seem to realize just how shocking his words were to the other two people present. Smiling, he asked: “Mm, did you take any pictures?”

The girl froze for a moment, then gave a timid little reply.

Gu Yiliang pressed his palms together in a pleading gesture, tilted his head with a cute expression, and gently said: “Could you delete them?”

Before the girl could respond, he turned toward me—limping and trudging over with great difficulty—then turned back, the faintest smile at his lips, and in a tone half-gentle, half-commanding, added:
“—I don’t want people to see the state he’s in.”

Me: …………………………………

I’m begging you, Gu Yiliang!!
Please, add the proper subject when you speak!
Only I understand that you mean I find this situation embarrassing—that I don’t want people to see me like this!!
It’s me! It’s your little treasure, Wei Yanzi!!

 

551.
The girl’s soul was almost about to fly out of her body and head straight into reincarnation,
while I was about to become a relic, extinguished right then and there in this situation.

Why must heaven torment me so?
Why must I hear all this?
My ears are filled with heavy karma!

No one can understand just how badly, at that moment, I wished I could be like A Du, lying beneath the car, so I wouldn’t have to witness just how much Gu Yiliang drives me insane.

(NT: reference to Taiwanese singer A Du’s hit song “He Must Really Love You”, which includes the lyric: “I should be under the car, not in the car.” It became a meme, often used to express despair or frustration.)

 

552.
Gu Yiliang had probably reincarnated as some kind of vacuum cleaner machine; while the two of us were already suffocating, he remained as calm as a spring breeze, smiling: “Are you okay?”

The girl, teeth clenched, handed over her phone with a trembling hand.

I finally managed to reach them. It wasn’t too late, as long as I—

Gu Yiliang: “Keep these few photos, as long as they’re not widely spread.”

It’s still not too late! As long as I—

Gu Yiliang: “Why don’t you send me the originals?”

 

553.
Even Immortals cannot save me.
Even Immortals cannot save me!!

 

554.
What happened afterward, I no longer know, because I forced my consciousness to detach and let my soul float away like a kite into the sky.

Why?

Because how could I face all this, sober and clear-headed?

Gu Yiliang, helping me walk in my difficult state— to the girl’s eyes, it looked exactly like a pair of old lovers slowly walking away together into the sunset.

He walked steadily, I staggered with every step.
There was a smile in his eyes, and tears in mine.

 

555.
Even after I had changed back into my pyjamas and lain down obediently on Gu Yiliang’s bed,
my eyes were still dazed and unfocused.

 

556.
Why.
Why is it always like this, why, why does this always happen?

When I hid in the corner of the closet to sneak candy, Gu Yiliang the King of Flirt dragged me out by force.

When he teased me until my head was about to explode, he showed his straight-man side, grabbing me by the hair and shoving me into the closet.

When I was calm and rational, wanting only to manage my little business in peace, he would suddenly awaken in “domineering personality” mode, paying no mind to anything, pressing down on everyone’s head—

“Here, taste it! Taste it, all of you! Fully savour this Niangzi sweetness at the tip of your tongues!”

Why is it like this?

Could there really exist someone like him— a divine being who naturally combined flirtatiousness, straightness, and gayness all unconsciously?
Or did his degree of straightness fluctuate with the phases of the moon?

The moon waxes, wanes, grows full…
And Gu Yiliang—was he straight, bent, curved, or hetero depending on the phase?

 

557.
I was pondering this question in near-confusion, when the mattress beside me sank slightly—
it was Gu Yiliang lying down.

Each of us at one end of the mattress, separated like two stars light-years apart.

I didn’t move, I didn’t dare move.

Experience had taught me never to expect or presume any of Gu Yiliang’s actions.
Because no matter which way I turned at a three-way intersection,
he always managed to dodge every expectation and hit me with completely unforeseen actions.

 

558.
Hey, wait a minute.

I narrowed my eyes—this logic, it strangely resembled making a wish.

So… should I try it?

559.
I closed my eyes, and in my head, I repeated to myself: Gu Yiliang isn’t going to talk to me, Gu Yiliang isn’t going to talk to me, Gu Yiliang isn’t going to talk to me.

Gu Yiliang turned toward me: “Are you asleep?”

Me: “…”

 

560.
Shit! I just discovered something! The Law of Opposition of Gu Yiliang!
I, Wei Yanzi, am a Gu-specialist!

 

561.
I cleared my throat lightly: “No, what’s wrong?”

Gu Yiliang pulled the blanket toward me: “… I shouldn’t have spoken to you like that at the hospital. Actually, your acting has improved.”

So he could reflect on himself and self-examine? Such subtle reflection—was this really the same person as that level-6 Kha’Zix?

Never mind, I decided to stay humble. I waved a hand: “No, my acting is just at a level that’s…”

Gu Yiliang replied seriously: “What do you mean? You already have acting skills—you’re at least on par with Patrick Star.”

Me: “…”

It’s you?! Level-6 Kha’Zix?! Are you the Sixth Brother or not?!

Me: “… Then I’ll just keep working hard and strive to reach the level of Pang Dahai as soon as possible.”
(Note: Pang Dahai, a character from Grave Robbers’ Chronicles, loyal and strong.)

Him:
“Mm, it’s good that you have that confidence.”

 

562.
This conversation truly made no sense—
even if Wu Xie himself came, it wouldn’t change anything.
(NT: Wu Xie, the intelligent and insightful protagonist of Grave Robbers’ Chronicles.)

 

563.
I rolled myself up in the blanket to block the angry glare I was about to shoot, shut my eyes to sleep.

Gu Yiliang stayed silent for a long while, then finally spoke again, his tone carrying hesitation and caution: “… When I said we’d play as a team, did that make you angry?”

I suddenly opened my eyes wide.

His question—what? Angry?

 

564.
Of course, I wasn’t angry.

All I did was silently sing “Raise the Waves” in my heart thirteen times until I was hoarse,
turn a ranked match into a bot massacre, kill more than twenty enemies, imagining each one was you, go crazy, determined to provoke you until one of us collapsed— to the point that I ended up in the hospital, and in a small corner of my heart, a part of me died under the rain of beating sticks, alongside Concubine Qi.

But sure.

In the darkness, my expression was fierce, yet my voice was calm as I said: “No, I wasn’t angry.”

He let out a sigh of relief on the other side: “That’s good then.”

Me: “…”

He smiled faintly: “I thought you were being so aggressive in-game because of me.”

Me: “…”

 

565.
I frantically repeated to myself:
Gu Yiliang definitely won’t choke to death on his own, Gu Yiliang definitely won’t choke to death on his own, Gu Yiliang definitely won’t choke to death on his own…

Gu Yiliang coughed lightly a few times.

Me: “…”
Me: “…!”

You’ve offended the Gu family, prepare yourself!

I then repeated to myself: Gu Yiliang won’t fall off the bed, Gu Yiliang won’t fall off the bed.

Gu Yiliang leaned slightly outward— then hurriedly rolled back onto the bed.

I was impressed by this technique, it was a real mystery.
So what if I repeated to myself that he was straight…

I was cut off mid-thought when he leaned over and softly kissed my forehead, murmuring: “Good night, sweet dreams.”

 

566.
Me.
Stunned.

 

567.
Wow!!

This is way too tyrannical—defying the Law of Gu Yiliang like this!!!

Did I actually make him switch orientations through metaphysics?!

I really am a Gu expert!

 

Translator : DarNan

 

 

 

 

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