459.
I stood there, dazed, followed Gu Yiliang into the elevator, dazed, then into his home, dazed, sat down on his couch and picked up his cat, dazed, thinking about the feeling that was suspiciously like the start of a crush.

 

460.
No, wait—what’s going on, did I… bend?
I was just sitting in a car with my aversary, listening to music, enjoying the light breeze, and suddenly I’m gay?!
I was living happily in my own little world, growing freely without a care, and in the blink of an eye, an invisible hand forced me to open the door to my closet and strip me bare under the daylight?

 

461.
I felt completely vulnerable, weak and at a loss, utterly alone, powerless and without support.
No—better to say “alone and powerless,” because I do still have “support,” namely Gu Yiliang.

 

462.
...
Why am I talking so bitterly?!
How long have I even known Gu Yiliang, and yet I feel like I’ve already started writing a book called Learning to Be a 0 (NT: shou) from Zero?!
Why am I talking about myself as if I’m a zero?!
If I had to be something, I’d be a one!
Wait—why did I automatically assume I’d “bent”?!
Gu Yiliang—has he really been taking advantage of the situation? His surname “Gu” (NT: care for) is already good enough, but he also has a “Yi” (NT: ‘1’, ie. gong) in his name?!
What the hell is this?!
Help me, I’m completely lost!!

 

463.
Calm down.
Wei Yanzi, you need to calm down—in such a critical moment, you absolutely must not lose your composure.

 

464.
It must be an illusion, yes, an illusion.
Even scattered flowers can dazzle the eyes, and Gu Yiliang is so dazzling he stands proudly like a bird perched atop the highest branch. I’m just being led astray by beauty that’s bewitched my eyes and my heart!

My fleeting love for outward appearance is ultimately shallow—I must have higher aspirations, a will that is firm and unshakable, not distracted by Gu Yiliang’s flirtations, I must maintain my purity!
So Gu Yiliang is flirting with me—ha, it no longer affects me, I’ve built up immunity!
I, Wei Yanzi, will never bend! If you have the guts, come at me!

 

465.
I gave myself a whole round of inner pep talk, and the closet door finally closed slowly.
I let out a long sigh, looked around, and saw Gu Yiliang in the kitchen putting away a plastic bag. So I focused on petting the cat, and confided in him from the bottom of my heart.

 

466.
I scratched the cat under the chin: “Hey, I’m your Yan ge from the Jianghu. May I ask your name?”
Then, pinching my voice, “Hi, my surname is Gu, you can call me Gu the cat.”
I stroked his nose: “Oh, hello. Well, I wanted to ask—does your dad flirt with everyone?”
The cat replied, still in a pinched voice, “Not exactly—my dad, while somewhat lacking in principles, only flirts with beautiful people. My friend, has he been making a move on you?”
I rubbed his belly: “Ah, exactly, he’s got me all anxious—how can he be like this?”
The cat replied again in a strangled voice: “Young hero, do not fret. As the saying goes, the way of Heaven is fair. Today he plays at seduction, but tomorrow he will cry as he pays the price.”
I stroked the cat’s back: “Thanks for the good omen…”

 

467.
When Gu Yiliang came over with two glasses of warm water, I immediately shut up, pretending I hadn’t been talking, and lowered my head to stroke the cat.
Gu Yiliang glanced at the cat in my arms, set the glasses down in front of me, and in a somewhat paternal, proud tone, said: “He’s cute, isn’t he?”
I nodded, picked up a glass and took a sip: “He’s really well-behaved, never scratches.”
“Yeah, he even understands a few commands,” Gu Yiliang said, motioning with his hand. “William, come here, Papa’s calling you.”
Me: “...?”
I stared blankly as the cat in my arms stood up, slowly walked over to Gu Yiliang, and then collapsed dramatically, exposing his belly.
Me: “… What did you say you call him?”
Him: “William, right?—”
He paused, a little confused.
Him: “… Huh? Looks like you two have the same name?”
Me: “…”
Me: “You’ve got the nerve to ask that?!”

 

468.
Wait a second—this whole time I was having fun by myself, was I actually playing the role of his son?
No—he’s had this cat for at least over a year, and he’s been calling it by my name?
No—now that I’m Gu Yiliang’s official CP, should this cat be calling me “big brother” or “dad”?
No—this pure, sweet happiness, this blend of tenderness and romance—hasn’t been noticed by the fans?
Team, you’ve really done a sloppy job?!
— tss.
Should I first eat a piece of candy to recover my strength, or throw a tantrum and give Gu Yiliang a kick?

 

469.
I was still deciding the order of events when Gu Yiliang suddenly stood up, picked up the cat, and set it in my arms.
Me: “?”

What’s he doing? Swapping Williams? A symbolic gesture for the shared name? A CP photo op?
He held back his laughter, pulled out his phone, and started snapping photos of me and the cat from different angles: “Don’t move, just like that. William, open your eyes wide. Good, perfect.”
Cat: 0w0
Me: ?????

 

470.
Report! Gu Yiliang has started selecting photos!
Report! Gu Yiliang has started typing a post!
Report! Wei Yanzi’s phone is vibrating!
Report! Wei Yanzi’s phone vibrated three times!

 

471.
I am absolutely certain those three vibrations were a comment notification, a new post notification, and an @mention.
I am certain it was pure, natural candy—a sweet, delicious romance.
It was a critical situation, time was tight, so I couldn’t resist: with a serious expression, I set the cat down, pulled out my phone, unlocked the screen, opened Weibo, and instantly—
I quietly savoured a giant piece of candy!

472.
@GuYiliangLiam: Two Williams. @WeiYanziWilliam
The attached image was Me, the cat, and his couch.The wallclock read 21:46.

 

473.
The information density was too high—it was so thrilling to snack on candy in secret under everyone’s gaze that I almost collapsed watching the whole operation play out.
Who’s the one dancing with the ribbon? Me! That’s me!!
In my head, I performed a full rhythmic gymnastics routine with a difficulty rating of six stars, then pretended to be completely calm, furrowed my brows, and asked in a fake-serious tone, “Is it really okay to post that?”
Gu Yiliang also furrowed his brows slightly, then said, “Maybe? … Wait, I’m a Weibo member—I’ll edit it a bit.”
A few moments later, I refreshed his Weibo.
@GuYiliangLiam: My William with @WeiYanziWilliam.

 

474.
Me: Hmmm.
Me: Is the ambulance here?
Me: Is it here?
Me: Help me.

 

475.
I pinched my thigh hard to maintain a shred of rationality, while asking in a normal but slightly displeased tone, “Why did you give him that name?”
Gu Yiliang chuckled softly and replied, “When I bought him, I just named him that on a whim—I thought it sounded nice. And it’s kind of funny—right after I brought him home, you injured your foot, so I used it in a video. I figured even if you saw the video, you wouldn’t know what it meant—you didn’t even know his name. But it’s been over a year now, and I didn’t think about it again until you mentioned it just now.”
He seemed to go on talking for quite a while, but I wasn’t really listening—my mind was completely stuck on one single word: video, video, video, video, video!!!

 

476.
At first, I thought I’d eaten a fake piece of candy—then I realized it was real.
Then I thought it was expired candy—but now I’ve discovered—
It’s a century-aged candy, even better for having matured over time, infinitely delightful to savor!
A hundred years—a hundred years of wedded bliss for Niangzi!
In my mind, a master of ceremonies was shouting into a megaphone: “Candy! Eat it forever! Don’t eat? You must eat it!”

 

477.
I’m really…
I was about to disappear.
I stared at him, my heart overflowing with tenderness, trying to carve his image deep into my memory—never to forget this great man who brought me so much joy (and diabetes) even into my 80s.
Tears welled up in my eyes, my eyelids turned red, my breathing quickened—excited.
My vision grew slightly blurry—drowned in sugar.
An uncontrollable smile spread across my face—excited.
I—

Gu Yiliang suddenly stood up, rushed into his study, then hurried into the bathroom.
Me: ?

 

【Gu Yiliang’s Diary — Paragraph 1】
What should I do?!

I can’t believe I just used my first exclamation mark in my diary.
No—this is not the time to be focusing on exclamation marks.
!!!!!!!!!!!
I’m really not used to this situation, I really have to…
But I can’t stay in the bathroom too long—that’s way too awkward—I’m so nervous.
I don’t know what’s gotten into him; we were just talking normally, and then suddenly he looked at me with a… very erotic gaze?

 

478.
His sudden movement to stand up startled me so much that I anxiously knocked on the bathroom door: “Gu Yiliang? Are you okay?”
From inside, he replied: “… I just touched William, I’m just going to wash my hands.”
Me: ? He has a cleanliness obsession? I never noticed before?

 

【Gu Yiliang’s Diary — Paragraph 2】
What do I do now?
Should I not have gotten up so suddenly? Will he think I’m not good enough?
… Why didn’t I take more precautions yesterday? Why didn’t I write more contingency scenarios?
I didn’t think things would progress this quickly, and I haven’t even used up all my resources yet…

 

479.
Does it really take that long to wash your hands? I hope it’s not gastroenteritis—if it’s serious he should go to the hospital.
I knocked again on the door, worried: “You’re not feeling sick, are you? Don’t hide it—illnesses shouldn’t be dragged out—”
From inside, he replied: “… No, I’m just preparing some wet food for William. I need my hands very clean, otherwise he’ll throw up.”
Me: ? … What a precious cat…?

 

【Gu Yiliang’s Diary — Paragraph 3】
He really thinks I’m incapable… he keeps pushing me.
Ah, what should I do? Even when I try to write, I can’t organize my thoughts.
Well… if it’s that urgent for him… I’ll just follow along, and later I’ll make up for my missing resources.

 

480.
There was no sound from the bathroom.
I was seriously worried he’d caught acute gastroenteritis and was collapsing from the pain.
I started pacing back and forth, growing more anxious, until I plastered myself against the door like a gecko, trying to hear what was going on inside.
Finally, the door swung open suddenly.
I almost fell to the floor, but Gu Yiliang caught me in time, steadying me.

 

481.
Too close, too close, too close, too close…
I was staring right at the side of his neck—its lines so smooth and elegant—and I had no idea where to look.
He lowered his head slightly—
His eyelashes! His eyelashes aren’t trembling—stop driving me insane!
I was joking when I said I wanted to challenge you, Gu Yiliang! I lost! I lost, okay?!
Hurry up and let go of me—this isn’t just bending anymore, I’m about to completely snap, you hear me?
But he didn’t seem to want to let go. His hand stayed at my waist, and in a low, soft voice, he said: “Let’s… start…”
He hesitated, stopping before finishing the sentence.

 

482.
I stared at him, almost in shock.
Start what, exactly?!
The possibilities are way too many right now!!!
Are we talking about booking a room? Getting in the car? Or starting—?
The closet door slowly opened before me! The light was blinding! It was all white, all dazzling! Help!

 

483.
Him: “Let’s play an online game—let’s duo queue.”

 

484.
Me: ?

 

485.
The closet door slammed shut.
It felt like a reversed scene from Detective Conan.
(Note: Detective Conan is a detective series where the protagonist, Shinichi Kudo, solves complex cases by noticing seemingly insignificant clues.)

 

Translator : DarNan