[Yiliang’s Diary – Entry 11]

I... I’m supporting my rival.
Even as I write this sentence, I still can’t calm my emotions. Looking at these words in black and white, even I can’t believe it.
It feels so unreal.
Ah… how did things end up like this?

 

[Yiliang’s Diary – Entry 12]

The company ordered us to play up some “bromance.” At first, I was disgusted by the idea. After all, I’ve managed just fine on my own for three years without relying on fabricated rumours.

I watched my rival—he didn’t seem thrilled about it either. To go against the company’s expectations, he even said things that were completely opposite of his public persona, like that story about “weight-lifting.”

I hadn’t meant to expose him; it just slipped out. He stood there, stunned, eyes wide as he looked at me.
It was too cute—I mean, it didn’t fit his image as the perfect idol. His fans shouldn’t see him like that, so I quickly covered for him on camera.

Midway through the livestream, his assistant came over with some things. He looked so genuinely happy to see him.

It was probably the moment I found myself alone on screen that gave me time to think: In the end, following the company’s orders and playing along with this “bromance” thing isn’t that bad. Pride and complacency can keep people at the top from growing. We all need to keep moving forward.

Besides… it gives me a perfect excuse to call him “Yanyan.”
Hmm… that actually sounds pretty good.

He doesn’t seem used to this kind of fanservice, but he did his best to play along. Seeing him a bit lost, slightly flustered, made me feel a small pang of guilt.

But the way I see it, if it’s not me, it’ll be someone else. And if the company pairs him up with another actor… wouldn’t that be giving away what should’ve been mine?

So, I’m making peace with it.
I’m talking about the popularity, of course. Not about him. Although… I’m not so sure I’d want to give him away either.

Even though, technically, he’s not mine. But now… in a way, he kind of is, right?

Ah… how did I end up supporting him?

Over the years, I’ve come across all kinds of rumours about him. Not that I ever looked into them deliberately, but since we’re always linked together in the media, I couldn’t avoid it even if I tried.

Among all those speculations, the most persistent one is about his so-called “boss.” Everyone wonders who’s supporting him from the shadows.

Let’s be honest: with his level of acting, the fact that he’s still getting attention in the industry is already something of a miracle.

But he seems so pure…
There’s nothing about him that fits the image of someone being “kept.” If I hadn’t overheard that phone call, I wouldn’t have believed it either.

Yes, eavesdropping is wrong. I admit it.

When I’m with him, I don’t even do anything special, yet he seems to think I’m being kind to him.
I don’t even want to imagine what that Director Huang must’ve put him through… what a bastard.

Talking behind people’s backs is also wrong. I apologize.

 

[Yiliang’s Diary – Entry 13]

After three years in the industry, I’ve done everything I could to avoid any and all “unspoken rules.”
Never did I imagine I’d end up in the role of a ‘boss’.

My rise happened too fast. I wasn’t prepared for any of this.

But it wasn’t an impulsive decision. I thought it through… over the course of three cigarettes.

First cigarette:
I asked myself, “Is there really no other way?”
I wasn’t expecting an answer, but he looked at me with absolute trust, thought for a moment, then smiled and said: “Now that you’re here, there is.”
...There was no way I could say no. I couldn’t betray that trust. I asked, so I had to take responsibility.

Second cigarette:
I assessed my own financial means and the resources I could offer him.
Compared to what he had before… yeah, I could give him more.
(With his potential, why wasn’t Director Huang giving him better roles? That guy must really be a piece of trash…)

Third cigarette:
I thought about what would happen if our relationship got exposed…
Honestly? Nothing too bad. We could just say it was all fanservice. And if things went south, there are a thousand ways to deal with it—
We’d be “bros,” PR would take care of the rest.

And if it really spiralled out of control, we could always spin it into a romance, follow the true love route and try breaking into the international market…

Speaking of that—
My feelings toward my family have always been… complicated.
I also thought that maybe, just maybe…
If I ever did have feelings for him, so what?

But before I could light the fourth cigarette, he interrupted my train of thought.

 

[Yiliang’s Journal – Entry 14]

Ah… I sighed a lot today.
But… I really have no idea how to “support” someone. He refuses my gifts, doesn’t want me to find him roles, and even insists on reimbursing the salary of his assistant…

When I walked him back to his room, I hesitated for a long time.
Should I have… kissed him?

No, that wouldn’t have been right. I haven’t given him anything yet; I can’t take advantage of him like that. Even if he did tell me to act “like a boyfriend”… but I’m not his boyfriend.

…That’s not the kind of thing you just ask out loud, right?

And you don’t exactly find a “How to support someone” manual online…
Well, maybe you do. I’ll go check.

Back.

So… I searched, and I found links to some… realistic stories, I guess.
I’ll read a few tonight—to educate myself. You have to start learning somewhere, right?

Oh, and… I’ve decided to quit smoking.
I heard him telling Director Huang to cut back on cigarettes. Since I’ve decided to take care of him, I might as well be better than that bastard Huang.

 

[Yiliang’s Journal – Entry 15]

After browsing through a few articles, I couldn’t sleep. So I got up to write down what I was feeling.

While flipping through a collection of literary texts, I realized I’d placed too much emphasis on the physical side of this patron-protégé relationship.
In truth, the patron and the person under their care don’t even have any physical contact below the neck.

Turns out all those scary stories my industry friends used to tell me were just cautionary tales—meant to keep me from taking the easy way out.

That’s kind of a relief.
Honestly, I don’t want the relationship between my rival and me to be so rooted in interests… well.

Alas (I wrote that spontaneously, so I’ll cross it out.)

 

[Yiliang’s Journal – Entry 16]

It’s frightening. I read another batch of documents, and the horrifying scenarios described in them went far beyond anything my industry friends had warned me about: drug control, asset transfers, and many other things…

I’d better not write more—I don’t want to stain my journal with that filth. I truly underestimated how dark people could be.

From now on, I’m determined to protect my rival and keep him far away from that kind of sordid world.

 

[Yiliang’s Journal – Entry 17]

I read several articles in a row, extracted the essentials, filtered out the unnecessary, and came up with a few different approaches.
Tomorrow, I’ll try them one by one to see which one my partner prefers.

 

[Yiliang’s Miscellaneous Notes on the Other Person]

My friend likes crispy bones and always orders a lot of dishes, but only takes a bite of each. In the future, I’ll try to help him finish to avoid waste.

His singing is beautiful—much better than mine.
Thinking about it… since we’re together now, could he sing just for me in exchange for the resources I provide him? (To be determined…)

My rival doesn’t play DOTA but is really good at LOL. Well, they’re both MOBA games anyway.
Maybe we could face off from time to time. I hope he’ll agree to try DOTA with me. If not, I can always learn LOL just to be with him.
We could break this elitist wall between games and grow together.

 

Translator : DarNan