Xiao Yi only needed to write two songs, one for ‘Catkins Flutter In The Wind, the other for ‘The Era of Leftover Men’both of them being character songs for Lu Zhou. The decision on whether to use them would be based on their quality. If they turned out well, there might be a chance to invite a famous singer to perform them as the theme songs.

Du Mei seemed somewhat sceptical that Xiao Yi could produce any good songs, and in reality, even Xiao Yi himself had doubts. Since his freshman year, he hadn't created anything noteworthy. The only song he had, the one Du Ma still remembered after all these years, was a product of youthful recklessness, an inspiration that came and went in an instant during a snowy day.

Their band had performed in Lijiang, in Kaili, in Houhai, and many other places, but none of these gigs managed to propel the song to fame.

Xiao Yi felt like he had lost his ability to compose. This feeling filled him with panic and distress. He knew that it was Lu Zhou who recommended him to Du Mei, showing care for him unconditionally and in his unique way.

At the end of the floor, where the floor-to-ceiling windows faced the best view outside, usually unused by anyone but Xiao Yi, he faced the window alone. He was filled with guilt and gratitude towards Lu Zhou but was afraid he might not live up to his high expectations. The burden was becoming almost unbearable for a novice like Xiao Yi.

After a moment of silence, bittersweet feelings overwhelmed him. Since Lu Zhou said so, let's consider it a song written for my idol. Come on, I accept the challenge.

He recalled long-forgotten knowledge about music composition in his mind, carefully reviewed the script again. These two songs had to match the styles of the two respective dramas, where Lu Zhou's character was a diligent and down-to-earth man, similar to the lost Xiao Yi in the city.

Feeling confused, impoverished, and exhausted to the brink of collapse after drifting to the north for many years without achieving family or career goals, he longed for a love, but the object of his affection seemed unattainable.

The first day passed, and Xiao Yi was still engrossed in reading the script, contemplating the character played by Lu Zhou.

He occasionally hummed a few lines, walked to the piano, played a few notes, and the sound of the piano in the spacious room was particularly harsh.

On the second and third days, Xiao Yi wrote, revised, revised, and wrote again, feeling exhausted. He always felt that nothing was right. He changed to another song, started thinking about the character song, sometimes browsing the internet, with no clear direction.

Xiao Yi was on the verge of a breakdown. He was afraid of disappointing Lu Zhou, but the more he feared that, the more he felt helpless, unable to come up with anything.

"Ah ah ah—" Xiao Yi's spirit was baffled. In these three days, he ate and slept in the company. He couldn't see Lu Zhou, but he was all over his mind. Later, whenever Xiao Yi checked Lu Zhou's Weibo, he felt extremely uncomfortable.

"I can't do it..." Xiao Yi said, feeling like he was about to cry.

Xiao Yi, like a powerless Tsuki, lay on the table.

Another day passed, and Xiao Yi felt that nothing was right. He didn't want to write songs anymore; he just wanted to talk to Lu Zhou. Even if he scolded him a few times, his mood would improve.

He dwelled on it persistently; by 9:30 pm, he was uncertain whether Lu Zhou had already retired for the night. The filming process was incredibly exhausting, and Lu Zhou likely would have fallen asleep as soon as he arrived home, paying no attention to Xiao Yi. Xiao Yi stared at Lu Zhou's name in his phone contacts, contemplating making a call but hesitating to press that single button. In Lu Zhou's absence, it felt as though something crucial was lacking, and even the world appeared to have changed.

He tried his best to think of something for Lu Zhou but realized that he couldn't do anything now. He felt depressed, just like when he was in love before. He couldn't help thinking about completing this task quickly.

In these days, he couldn't get in the mood for anything. He was in a state of loneliness all day, thinking about Lu Zhou and his songs.

"Are you sleeping?" Lu Zhou's WeChat message arrived.

Xiao Yi was overjoyed and replied: "No."

Lu Zhou seemed to be afraid of disturbing Xiao Yi and didn't call.

Lu Zhou: "Finished writing?"

Xiao Yi: "Almost. I won't let you down for sure."

Lu Zhou: "If not, come back first. Anyway, we'll be shooting for several months. Write when you feel inspired."

Xiao Yi was both sad and depressed. What should he do? Xiao Yi was almost in tears; he depended too much on Lu Zhou. Is it because I'm useless?

Xiao Yi couldn't sit alone like this anymore; otherwise, he would eventually drive himself crazy.

*

After contemplating for a long time, he finally called Du Ma's phone and asked, "Are you free? Accompany me for a drink, Du Ma."

Du Ma said, "Sure, where? How have you been lately?"

"Terrible." Xiao Yi sighed, leaning back in his chair.

Du Ma said, "I'll pick you up."

"I'll come to you." Xiao Yi replied.

Du Ma's home was on the top floor of a building in Sanlitun, with a loft design and modern decoration. He lived there alone. Du Ma poured some foreign liquor for Xiao Yi at the wine cabinet, and Xiao Yi sat at the dining table, looking dishevelled. The light-hearted atmosphere of spring seemed to completely overwhelm his emotions.

"Do you love him?" Du Ma leaned in.

Xiao Yi: "..."

"Come on." Xiao Yi said, "Don't tease me."

"Assuming you love him." Du Ma, after hearing Xiao Yi's frustrated complaints, chuckled and placed the foreign liquor in front of him, saying, "Brew your emotions, then pour them into your work. Isn't that what our professors used to say?"

"I can't do it!" Xiao Yi looked helpless. "I'm not gay. Although I love him, it's the love of a fan for an idol, not that... kind of love."

Du Ma casually said, "Just pretend you're gay. There are many in the entertainment industry, why are you so resistant, like an old fossil."

Xiao Yi took a sip of the liquor, still thinking about Lu Zhou. He sighed deeply, covering his forehead with his left hand, massaging his temples with his middle finger and thumb. What Du Ma said was true, Xiao Yi couldn't deny it. In the music school, there were many guys who liked guys, just like in the film and television department. During college, everyone wasn't surprised by same-sex attractions, and there were also many lesbians.

"Do you remember Ah Gou?" Du Ma asked.

"Yeah," Xiao Yi replied, thinking of him—the other roommate who lived with Du Ma. It was he who, encouraged by Xiao Yi and Du Ma, went abroad for postgraduate studies.

"Ah Gou has always liked you, I guess you didn't know." Du Ma said.

"What?!" Xiao Yi almost spilled the liquor, finding it hard to believe. "No way!"

Du Ma said, "He left for studies after you got a girlfriend. You treated us both so well. Ah Gou, for a while, suspected that you and I had something going on. Isn't this kind of thing common? I thought you wouldn't find it strange."

"For me," Xiao Yi said, "you two are brothers! All kinds of feelings can't compare to our feelings, even love..."

Du Ma burst into laughter and said, "Some people attract men, some attract women. You treat your brothers well. In the past, the girls in the class used to joke that you were a bottom. You seem to have some tendencies."

Xiao Yi was speechless, twirling his finger around the rim of the glass. Du Ma added, "Let's say you like Lu Zhou now, wholeheartedly submitting to him, determined to worship him. You won't marry anyone else, and you want to have children with him. Okay? Write a song with these emotions, and I guarantee it will work."

Xiao Yi slammed the glass on the table. Du Ma said, "Do you have the feeling of falling in love? Recall it?"

Xiao Yi had just ended a relationship and didn't expect to brew the feeling of falling in love again. Yet, it was for Lu Zhou. Although it was absurd and unexpected, Xiao Yi admitted that Du Ma was right—love, marijuana, sex, and death were the best catalysts for art.

Du Ma mentioned, "I understand that kind of feeling you have—admiration, worship. Lu Zhou has money, status, and treats you exceptionally well... even if you were a girl, you would have fallen in love with him wholeheartedly by now."

Xiao Yi uttered, "You don't understand. It's not because of his money, but..."

"Personality," Du Ma reacted, "character. Substitute it for love, it works too. When girls like boys, isn't it just admiration, wanting to rely on him wholeheartedly?"

Is that so? Xiao Yi thought for a moment, feeling that it seemed to be the case.

Black lines covered Xiao Yi's head, Du Ma snapped his fingers stylishly, saying, "Love is a good medicine for art. Try it out, I believe you can do it, Ah Tu." (NT: from Tùzǐ, Rabbit)

Du Ma got up to take a shower, and Xiao Yi remained seated quietly at the dining table.

At twelve o'clock, Xiao Yi's phone rang again, Lu Zhou's call. Xiao Yi's heart raced. From being together with Lu Zhou every day, from initially being full of complaints about him to later being happy as long as he could be with him, to their brief separation, Xiao Yi had never missed Lu Zhou so much. Hearing his voice made everything seem full of hope.

Xiao Yi answered the phone.

Lu Zhou, without holding back, said, "You didn't reply to WeChat. Have your wings grown, thinking of flying away!"

"Sorry, sorry." Xiao Yi apologized hastily.

"What else do you have to say besides sorry?!" Lu Zhou angrily said, "Where are you?"

"At..." Xiao Yi didn't dare say that he went to Du Ma's house. He said, "At the company."

There was silence on Lu Zhou's end for a few seconds before he said, "Why didn't you reply to the message?"

Xiao Yi said, "I just fell asleep, didn't hear it."

Lu Zhou said impatiently, "Forget it, still writing?"

"No, but I just got some inspiration, planning to write now." Xiao Yi replied.

"Well, I won't disturb you then." Lu Zhou said, "Um, happy birthday."

After Lu Zhou finished speaking, he hung up the phone. Xiao Yi glanced at the calendar and realized that today was his birthday. Lu Zhou actually remembered! He had never mentioned it before!

"Want to go to a bar?" Du Ma changed into new clothes and came downstairs, asking, "Find you a girl or a handsome guy, get a room, release some stress?"

Xiao Yi: d—_—b 凸.

Du Ma said, "Alright then, I'm leaving. I'll bring you breakfast when I come back."

Xiao Yi asked, "Can I use your piano and study for a while?"

"Of course," Du Ma replied.

Xiao Yi entered Du Ma's study. The room was spacious, as Du Ma loved reading. There was only a mat and a bookshelf. Facing him were two floor-to-ceiling windows, offering a splendid view of the night on the thirty-sixth floor. Beijing had experienced some wind today, and the night sky was clear. Lights sparkled on the earth below.

Sitting by the window, Xiao Yi stared at the colourful and bustling night outside. As time passed, the world gradually fell asleep, lights dimmed, and both outside and inside the room, everything sank into a distant solitude.

Like thunder and lightning, a surge of inspiration erupted in this silent night, igniting an uncontrollable flow of thoughts. The night seemed to reveal a gentle Milky Way and starry sky, peacefully coexisting with the city.

Countless lights from homes, familiar streetlights, the scent of grass during the transition from spring to summer – bundled up in his coat, Xiao Yi walked in the residential area.

Reflections of the vast sea of music flashed in like a glimmering spotlight, humble love, complex tastes, and the desire for love and family intertwined into a hazy musical sense. It was the sound of private cars passing by, the sensation of someone waiting at home with a lit lamp, mingling with the bustling world, the cacophony, the ordinary aspects of life, and the song of reality intertwined with the lives of countless passers-by, waiting for the one who had passed many times in the busy world.

Various feelings turned like vortexes, blending flavours that couldn't be clearly expressed. In Xiao Yi's thoughts, a myriad of disorderly and chaotic memories seemed to clarify and resurface. During the silent hours of the night, when the rest of the world slumbered, creators—designers, writers, screenwriters, musicians, and the like—all engaged in contemplation. They entrusted their intuition to sift through and evaluate the abundance of inspiration, recognizing it as the most dynamic phase within the realm of dreams, readily accessible to humanity. This phenomenon has persisted for countless millennia, engraved deep within the genes of individuals. Allowing imaginative thoughts to reign, it was akin to the mesmerizing sight of a million stars lifted by the tide and carried to the shore.

Xiao Yi's fingers moved aimlessly, tilting his head as if listening to the sound of love plucking at heartstrings. It felt like carrying a touch of sorrow, missing the face that had become blurry but transformed into a male lover full of security and tenderness deep in his heart. With his unique personality and charm, Lu Zhou constantly influenced Xiao Yi, like the stars scattered across the night sky.

He captured memories of Lu Zhou and his breath. Slowly standing up, Xiao Yi walked to the piano and pressed a key, no... another note. At that moment, Xiao Yi captured a fleeting moment – Lu Zhou holding his hand, looking into his eyes with concentration and affection.

He decisively pressed the adjacent key, creating a resounding note that pierced into the depths of his heart, making the entire world tremble. Following that, Xiao Yi played a series of notes, some gentle, some awkward. The music was like a vibrant night with a thousand lights illuminating countless warm homes. After the initial glamour, everything returned to silence. The music accompanied them as they walked the streets of Beijing.

Xiao Yi quickly noted down the musical score and threw it aside. Then, closing his eyes, he visualized Lu Zhou in military uniform, overlapping with Xu Fengqi. This was his second composition. At the end of the first song, the first note of the second song suddenly appeared, and the flowing melody surged.

The next day, the sun rose, and the sky outside the window was dim. Du Ma, feeling exhausted, pushed open the door and entered. Xiao Yi was awakened by the noise.

"Let me see?" Du Ma smiled.

Xiao Yi had piano keys imprinted on his face. Tiredly getting up, Du Ma hummed the score, a little surprised, and said, "Hiring someone to write lyrics?"

After brushing his teeth, Xiao Yi sat at the table and ate the breakfast Du Ma brought back, saying, "I'll do it myself."

"Not bad," Du Ma said. "Very good."

Du Ma sent Xiao Yi back to the company and went back to sleep. On Sunday morning, Xiao Yi pushed open the studio door and was stunned.

On the table, in front of the computer, was a birthday cake.

There was none yesterday before he left, and it was only eight o'clock now. The only person who would bring a cake would be Lu Zhou.

Xiao Yi felt touched. He sat down, ate a piece of cake, and prepared to continue working.

Another day passed. Xiao Yi, half asleep and half awake, in an extremely unstable state of mind, hummed those two songs back and forth. He had eaten almost half of the cake; the hunger he felt throughout the day was satisfied by the birthday cake, as if it were a fuel of both his mental and physical health.

However, in his self-talk, he didn't know how to face Lu Zhou. This was also true for the lyrics he wrote for him. A thousand words, but unable to express them. In the end, he whispered, "I guess you can't understand."

Xiao Yi wrote the first word, like a love poem from a fan to an idol. As he wrote, the lyrics became more restrained, winding around. Xiao Yi gradually understood the composition and lyrics writing, feeling very tired. Just like heartily opening up to a lover, the emotions were complicated – from flourishing like flowers to withering like autumn, it was the real release of true feelings and the melancholy experienced in life.

Freed from the chaotic and disorderly memories, Xiao Yi sighed and looked at his work. Then he smiled, singing it out loud.

It's not enough; it still needs further modification. Let it be for now.

The humid weather made him very uncomfortable. Xiao Yi hadn't taken a shower for several days, and he missed Lu Zhou a lot. He wanted to tell him that he had finished writing the song. Should he call him now, or wait until the final product is ready to show him?

*

This night, a sudden thunderstorm hit Beijing. The next day, during the day, Xiao Yi sat in a dim room without turning on the lights. He pondered and worked on revisions all day, deleting and modifying, cross-referencing with an electronic dictionary. In the evening, the rain intensified, and people in the building had left early. Xiao Yi went downstairs, leaving only Lin Yao still there. Du Ma had made dinner plans, and Lin Yao, seeing Xiao Yi, smiled and asked, "Finished writing?"

"Not yet," Xiao Yi said. "But soon. Tomorrow, I'll go to Juhua and contact the band."

"Can you go home today?" Lin Yao inquired.

Xiao Yi thought for a moment and said, "Stay for another day. Has Zhou Ge been here?"

"Everyone is on set," Lin Yao replied.

Xiao Yi glanced at Lu Zhou's schedule; there was still a night scene today. They probably wouldn't finish filming soon. He came to the company to work on the song. Lin Yao arranged for two assistants to pick up Lu Zhou since it was raining heavily. After having dinner downstairs amidst a day of heavy rain and thunder, Xiao Yi, in high spirits, contemplated calling Lu Zhou. However, he hesitated to press that one button. Without Lu Zhou, something felt amiss, and the world seemed different.

Finally, I can also visit the film crew! Xiao Yi took advantage of the soup restaurant still being open, ordered a portion of local chicken soup, and packed it in the company's thermos. He went outside to catch a taxi and headed to the filming location.

The production team had chosen another residential area for the indoor scenes, which hadn't opened for selling houses yet. With the heavy rain pouring down, everyone scattered, leaving only their crew. Xiao Yi got off the car, only a few steps away from becoming completely drenched. To make matters worse, there was a power outage, and the film crew's engine roared loudly.

 

Lu Zhou had just finished shooting a scene and was taking a break when he saw Xiao Yi.

"What are you doing here?!" Lu Zhou exclaimed. "It's pouring outside."

"Hehe, I came to visit and feed you a bit." Xiao Yi said. "Do you want supper? Have you eaten?"

Lu Zhou, wearing flip-flops with rolled-up pants, and sleeves still wet, gestured for Xiao Yi to sit down. He took the thermos from Xiao Yi and started devouring the chicken soup.

"Haven't you had dinner?" Xiao Yi asked. "Why didn't anyone go buy food? Nonsense! Where's the assistant? How could they let you go hungry while filming!"

"The rain is too heavy," Lu Zhou explained. "Traffic is jammed on the roads, and logistics can't make it through. Everyone agreed to finish shooting and have supper at 9:00."

Most places closed due to the rain, and the wind was blowing through the corridor ,making Xiao Yi shiver. Lu Zhou finished a large part of chicken soup with meat, revitalizing himself. Before going back to the set, he instructed Xiao Yi, "Wait here, and go home later. Don't go to the company."

Xiao Yi watched Lu Zhou act in a scene, quietly afraid of waking up the female lead who seemed exhausted after crying. The female lead lay on the sofa under the floor lamp, tears still on her face.

Dressed in a tank top, jeans, and flip-flops, Lu Zhou, resembling a middle-aged man, wanted to kiss the female lead but hesitated, being extremely cautious not to wake her. It was both funny and touching, without any hint of indecency.

Next, Lu Zhou knelt on both knees, carefully studying the sleeping face of the female lead. Suddenly, the female lead opened her eyes and moved closer.

Lu Zhou didn't let her kiss him, and the female lead only made a gesture, not daring to take advantage of Lu Zhou. The director shouted "Cut, very good," and then proceeded to the scene between the female lead and her best friend. Lu Zhou sat back, and Xiao Yi laughed, saying, "I thought she really kissed you."

Lu Zhou stuck out his tongue, and bit the bone of a chicken wing.

Xiao Yi, "..."

Lu Zhou gave a cunning smile, nearly making Xiao Yi laugh to death. It turned out that when the female lead pretended to kiss him, Lu Zhou spat out the chicken bone, as if saying, "Dare to come?" The female lead was left speechless.

Lu Zhou, still in a good mood, continued to drink soup from the thermos. After the female lead finished another scene, Lu Zhou went up, dimmed the lights, and the two stared at the TV in a daze. The female lead leaned on Lu Zhou's shoulder, and Lu Zhou carried her horizontally to sleep. The last scene was finished.

The rain grew heavier. In all the years Xiao Yi had been in Beijing, this was the second time he had experienced such a crazy storm. The last time, even the bridges were flooded. This time was like the end of the world, with thunder and lightning streaking across the city's sky.

It was 9:30 at night, all the assistants had been sent away, and after the crew finished, Xiao Yi drove back. They got stuck on the road, and under the overpass, there was water everywhere, but it hadn't reached the point of submerging the car roof.

"Can't get through," Xiao Yi said. "The water is too deep!"

A line of cars was stuck in the water, and the water level reached the edges of the wheels. Lu Zhou noted, "The road ahead is blocked!"

In the distance there was a thunder rumbling. Xiao Yi lamented: "What should we do?"

"Chill!" Lu Zhou said. "Damn it, the car next to us is still shaking!"

Xiao Yi: "..."

The car next to them was not actually shaking; it was just two men taking advantage of the traffic jam to hug and kiss. Xiao Yi honked a few times, unable to pass. Lu Zhou uttered, "Park the car outside the mall, let's walk back, it's not far."

There were still more than three kilometres to their home. Xiao Yi parked the car outside a large mall, and as he tried to hold an umbrella to Lu Zhou, Lu Zhou, taller than Xiao Yi, already had taken it. Both of them became completely soaked shortly after getting out of the car, crossing the crowded street towards the other side.

"Why didn't you bring an umbrella?" Xiao Yi shouted.

"I gave them to those kids!" Lu Zhou yelled back at Xiao Yi. "I get in the car as soon as I go out! Who knew it would rain so heavily!"

Normally, walking a couple of kilometres was easy, but in heavy rain, it seemed impossible. Lu Zhou and Xiao Yi bumped into each other, so Lu Zhou put his arm around Xiao Yi‘s shoulders, and they walked along the wall.

Xiao Yi's heart was pounding, and water kept dripping from Lu Zhou 's body, clearly having a rough time. His shirt was completely soaked, revealing the contours of his muscles.

" Zhou ge!" Xiao Yi shouted.

"What?" Lu Zhou glanced at Xiao Yi.

"Did you miss me?" Xiao Yi's voice was a bit softer.

With the rain pouring down, the sound drowned out their conversation. Xiao Yi realized the awkwardness of his words and toned it down a bit. Suddenly, a thunderous lightning strike interrupted them. The words he longed to hear were utterly destroyed.

Lu Zhou said something again, and Xiao Yi still couldn’t catch it. Lu Zhou angrily shouted, "A little bit—!"

Xiao Yi: "???"

Lu Zhou pulled him in front, and his lips were almost touching Xiao Yi's ear. He repeated, "A little bit!"

Xiao Yi burst into laughter. Suddenly, lightning struck a tall building nearby, thunder and lightning appearing simultaneously. The scene was magnificent, with the lightning rod at the top of the building absorbing the thunder, making the surroundings as bright as day for a moment. A split second later, the thunderous roar drowned out all their senses, as if the world was collapsing.

Xiao Yi screamed, and Lu Zhou hugged him, pushing him to the exit of the subway station. In less than a second, Lu Zhou's instinctive reaction was to protect Xiao Yi. Both of them were frightened by the thunder from just a moment ago. Lu Zhou's face was full of water, looking at Xiao Yi gasping for breath. He then turned to look at the tall building in the distance.

"Damn it," Lu Zhou said. "I thought I was going to have a heart attack."

Xiao Yi added, "I thought... that building was going to collapse..."

Xiao Yi leaned against the entrance of the subway station, out of breath. Lu Zhou suggested, "Let's take the subway, half of my life has been scared off."

Lu Zhou put away the umbrella, his hair sticking to his forehead. They stood in the subway station, full of people. Lu Zhou was wearing flip-flops, pants rolled up to his knees, dripping water everywhere, attracting the attention of a girl who nudged her companion, indicating to take a look.

"Excuse me..."

Before she could say anything, Xiao Yi interrupted, "Do you really think Lu Zhou would wear ten yuan flip-flops to squeeze into the subway?"

Everyone around burst into laughter. Xiao Yi patted Lu Zhou's shoulder, and the two got on the train. Lu Zhou's hair covered his forehead, facing the train door. His white shirt was soaked, almost exposing everything, but he didn't seem to care, leaning against the railing beside Xiao Yi. They looked at each other and burst into laughter.

 

Translator : DarNan