“Hey? Did you mess something up?” Liu Yuanping stood in front of the desk sweating, staring at the opened-up computer. “There’s nothing loose inside…”

“I just slapped it once.” Xiang Xi turned the fan to its highest setting. The two of them had already been struggling with the computer for half an hour, but it showed no sign of coming back to life.

“Why did you slap it for no reason?” Liu Yuanping looked at him, baffled.

“I…” Xiang Xi didn’t know what to say. Because some “Big Long Leg” said he missed Cheng Boyan?

“You must’ve been playing games too hard,” Liu Yuanping laughed, then frowned again. “A slap shouldn’t break it! I’ve even kicked mine off the table and it didn’t break!”

“Forget it,” seeing how exhausted Liu Yuanping looked, Xiang Xi felt a bit guilty — Zhao Tong was still busy boiling noodles for them. “I’ll take it to get repaired tomorrow?”

“No, don’t. Any small part they replace will cost almost as much as that five-hundred-yuan computer!” Liu Yuanping also felt guilty. “I’ll go find him! He’s not home yet.”

“No no no—” Xiang Xi hurriedly said. “I’ll just take it in. Maybe nothing needs replacing.”

A five-hundred-yuan computer, put to death by two slaps from him — Xiang Xi was really depressed. This thing was way too fragile; if he’d known, he might as well have spent eight hundred on the one Cheng Boyan recommended.

Thinking of Cheng Boyan, Xiang Xi’s mood instantly plunged straight to rock bottom, so low it couldn’t pull it back up.

I won’t do that again. I promise.

So that’s what Cheng Boyan meant— From now on he wouldn’t contact him.

Xiang Xi stared at the ceiling all night. The next morning, while washing his face, he found his dark circles almost bigger than his eyes.

He wasn’t afraid of Cheng Boyan doing anything to him.

He was only afraid that Cheng Boyan would never pay attention to him again.

***

“Xiang Xi,” Song Yi came out of the office and called him, “come here for a moment.”

“Oh.” Xiang Xi had been restocking shelves. Hearing Song Yi call him in, he instantly got nervous—he hadn’t been in a good state these past few days, though he hadn’t made any mistakes…

Once inside the office, Song Yi had a cigarette in his mouth. Seeing Xiang Xi come in, he tossed him one. “Close the door. Don’t let people see you smoking in my office.”

Xiang Xi smiled, closed the door, and held the cigarette without lighting it.

“Go on, smoke, it’s fine,” Song Yi handed him a lighter. “Sit down. I’ve got something to discuss with you. Work stuff.”

“Mm.” Xiang Xi hesitated, then lit the cigarette and sat down. “Did I do something wrong?”

“No, no, you’re doing great,” Song Yi leaned on his desk. “I wanted to ask if you’d be willing to take the night shift. The previous guy quit, and we can’t find anyone good right now…”

Xiang Xi froze. Night shift?

“You’ll get your wages as normal,” Song Yi took a drag, “and you can move into the store. That way you’ll save rent. It’s that small single room—have you seen it?”

He knew the small room. Hadn’t gone in, but had seen it from the outside. It was next to the storeroom, about the same size as the place he currently rented, but in much better condition. It even had a TV and an air conditioner.

The key point: No rent? And extra pay?

Anything involving saving money or earning more instantly interested Xiang Xi. Those two points alone were enough — he didn’t even ask more.
“Okay.”

“How long on your current rental?” Song Yi asked.

“Just these couple of days left.”

“Then cancel it. Move in today or tomorrow. That room doesn’t need much cleaning — you can move right in.” Song Yi opened a drawer and took out a key. “You’ll just have to get up early to open the store.”

“No problem.” Xiang Xi took the keys.

When Song Yi called at noon, Cheng Boyan was standing by the clinic window.

From here, he could see the hospital’s main gate. Outside were over two hundred people holding banners — white cloth with black characters reading “Give my life back”, “Injustice”. Next to them was a speaker, and someone was reading from a sheet of paper into a microphone.

Roughly: a patient transferred from a certain county had died; the family couldn’t accept it and demanded compensation.

Cheng had been on duty the day the patient was admitted. Several major hospitals in the city refused to take him; only theirs accepted. But they still couldn’t save him…

The family didn’t want to lose their loved one; the hospital also wanted to save him — otherwise they wouldn’t have admitted him. But conflict still arose in the end.

“Busy?” Song Yi asked on the phone.

“Not at the moment.” Cheng Boyan sat down.

“Aren’t you at the hospital?” Song Yi sounded puzzled. “Why is there a broadcast?”

“What broadcast,” Cheng laughed lightly. “The patient’s family is blocking the entrance again.”

“Again?” Song Yi immediately got anxious. “Is it related to your department? Didn’t you get hit in the head last year when they blocked the entrance?”

“No. We called the police. We’ll see how it gets dealt with.” Cheng instinctively touched his temple — there was still a small scar hidden in his hair there.
“What’s up?”

“I’ve already taken care of everything you asked me to do. When are you treating me to a meal to make it up to me? I even fired someone so I could arrange things properly for you.” Song Yi said.

“Didn’t you say that guy was irresponsible and planned to quit anyway?” Cheng Boyan smiled.

“I could’ve arranged someone else, you know.” Song Yi clicked his tongue.

“This weekend then,” Cheng Boyan looked at the desk calendar. “I won’t handle the dinner part. My off-duty time is unpredictable. If you guys want to sing, just book a private room and wait for me to come.”

“OK.” Song Yi hung up.

Cheng Boyan took a sip of water, checked the time, and planned to go to the cafeteria to eat something. Just as he walked out of the consulting room, Doctor Liu from next door called him:
“Cheng, eating?”

“Mm, together?” Cheng Boyan asked.

“Change your clothes first.” Doctor Liu pointed at his white coat.

Cheng let out a sigh, hesitated, then went back to take off the white coat. You had to pass the hospital entrance to get to the cafeteria, and there had been cases of family members blocking the door and attacking anyone they saw in a white coat.

“The police still haven’t arrived?” Cheng walked with Doctor Liu toward the cafeteria, seeing the crowd still outside, though things were relatively calm.

“Even if they come, it’s hard to resolve. They can only persuade,” Doctor Liu said. “If it’s family members who just don’t understand, you can still try communicating. But if there are professionals mixed in, that’s trouble—once emotions get stirred up, nothing you say will work.”

Cheng didn’t speak. Doctor Liu glanced at him. “Hey, are you tired these days? You look kind of out of it.”

“Really?” Cheng smiled. “I probably just haven’t eaten your wife’s dumplings in too long.”

“You!” Doctor Liu laughed. “I’ll have her make some for you next week. But seriously, don’t stay single. Cooking or not aside, at least you’d have someone to talk to when you get home.”

“It’s not like I want to be single.” Cheng still smiled and pressed his ribs lightly.

Yeah… he didn’t want to be single.

But wanting not to be single wasn’t enough to not be single.

***

Xiang Xi felt he couldn’t stay idle. If he had nothing to do, he couldn’t stop himself from opening his phone and checking Big Bones’s Weibo, but every time he saw “Good afternoon Xiao Xixi” and that Big Long Leg, he got depressed again.

So he could only keep himself busy by moving.

His rental had three days left, but he decided to move immediately, just to give himself something to do.

He didn’t have many clothes—just one bag worth—but pillows, sheets, the fan and so on took up space. He had to ask Liu Yuanping for a woven sack and stuffed everything inside.

He went back and forth to the supermarket twice carrying things. He couldn’t bear to spend money to hire a car, so one trip was for clothes and bedding, and another for carrying the computer.

He took the broken computer to the tiny repair shop downstairs—turned out the hard drive was burned. Buying a new one would cost several hundred. He really couldn’t bear to spend that money, but also wasn’t willing to throw it away, so he carried it like a treasure into the small room at the supermarket.

The supermarket’s little room was very clean. The place hadn’t been open long, so everything inside was new. The gray-blue walls were beautiful, and the bed, cabinet, and table were a matching white set.

The only thing was that the room didn’t have its own toilet or bathroom—he had to use the store’s. But that didn’t matter; he would be the only one there at night anyway.

Xiang Xi put all his things into the cabinet, put the broken computer in too, then turned on the TV and the air conditioner and flopped onto the bed.

Comfortable!

After closing the supermarket for the night, he went around as instructed, checking all the doors and windows, swept the store, then showered and returned to the small room.

Lying on the bed, air conditioner blowing, watching TV.

Very comfortable, very relaxing, very… he didn’t even know when he picked up his phone again.

Good afternoon, Xiao Xixi.

…Big Long Leg, screw your grandpa.

Xiang Xi angrily tossed the phone aside.

After staring at the TV for a while, he suddenly felt a bit wronged.

Even though he had punched Cheng Boyan’s ribs, and pretty hard too—probably left a bruise—
but wasn’t the one who launched the surprise-attack-pervy-move Cheng Boyan, wasn’t it?

How did things end up like this?

Cheng Boyan wasn’t talking to him anymore.

Clearly they had such a good relationship and had never fought before—how could it be that once they stopped contacting each other, they just… stopped?

Xiang Xi switched positions, lying on his stomach and hugging the pillow.

This posture made him feel safe; it protected his soft belly. Just like cats or dogs—unless they really trust you, they won’t roll over and expose their tummy for you to scratch.

Xiang Xi closed his eyes and let out a soft sigh.

Suddenly he felt like he understood everything.

After all, they were different kinds of people. For him, Cheng Boyan held a place no one else could; but for Cheng Boyan, he probably was nothing more than an interlude. And when an interlude goes off-key, you just cut the song and switch to another.

Once he understood this, he felt relaxed all at once and sprawled on the bed with arms and legs stretched out in a “大”shape. (NT: dà, meaning big)

Actually, it wasn’t a big deal. Since he was little, he’d always lived like this. I’m just not the same as them—this was the best reason. Anything could be explained with that reason.

A mental-calming, heart-soothing charm.

But this time the charm’s effect didn’t last long; it expired as soon as the weekend came.

When he woke up in the morning, he found he was still a bit gloomy—especially when he got out of bed and wanted to take a picture of the cup casting a light spot on the wall, only to see the camera warn that the storage was full.

Actually full? Full?

What to do? His computer was broken, and he was too embarrassed to let anyone other than Cheng Boyan see the photos. And going to an internet café—dammit, you needed an ID card…

Xiang Xi put the camera away, thinking about what to do. Asking Cheng Boyan was the simplest way—Cheng could even help sort his photos. But… When he pushed up the supermarket’s rolling shutter, he was a bit distracted. Before the door rose all the way, he walked out and banged his head hard against it.

“Fuck” he cursed angrily.

“Are you okay?” Yu Baoquan happened to be parking at the store entrance and ran over when he heard the noise.

“I’m fine. This damn door rolls up way too slow!” Xiang Xi rubbed his head.

“You got plans tonight?” Yu Baoquan locked his little electric scooter and jogged back to ask.

“Tonight?” Xiang Xi froze for a second.

“Didn’t we say yesterday the few of us would go eat?” Yu slapped him on the shoulder.

“Oh—” Xiang Xi finally remembered. Two days ago Zhang Xin had suggested it; the four people on their shift would go out for dinner. He’d been feeling suffocated these past two days and had forgotten everything. “No plans.”

After work, the four changed clothes and discussed where to eat, chatting and laughing. Xiang Xi didn’t say anything—he wasn’t in the mood. If he hadn’t already agreed earlier, he really wouldn’t have wanted to go.

“Let’s get Mending meat pies (NT: Beijing-style stuffed meat pie),” Zhang Xin clapped. “Haven’t had it in ages!”

“Great!” Yu Baoquan clapped too.

Except for Xiang Xi, the other three had e-scooters. Xiang Xi rode with Yu Baoquan, and they headed straight to the restaurant.

Xiang Xi didn’t have much enthusiasm for food—especially now, when he felt lost and irritable.

Four people: two men and two women. He sat next to Yu Baoquan; across from him were Zhang Xin and a woman named He Xiaoru—very introverted. Even though they’d worked the same shift for so long, he hadn’t spoken ten sentences to her.

“Hey, Xiang Xi,” while waiting for the food, Zhang Xin looked at him, “you’re super good at taking photos, right? Take one of me and Xiaoru!”

“I… just play casually.” Xiang Xi hesitated. He played with his camera during breaks. Zhang Xin had seen him twice; though she’d never seen his photos, she assumed anyone who carried a Leica-like camera must be a professional.

“Did you bring your camera?” He Xiaoru asked softly, timidly.

The camera was in his bag. It was expensive, so whenever he left his room he always took it with him—he was afraid to lose it.

“I brought it.” He thought for a moment, then took it out. He lowered his head, deleting two shots he wasn’t satisfied with, then lifted the camera toward the two girls. “Don’t look at me—just act like you’re chatting as usual.”

“I love Mending meat pies—millet porridge paired with them is the best, so satisfying!” Zhang Xin turned to He Xiaoru as she spoke.

He Xiaoru didn’t answer but smiled.

Xiang Xi pressed the shutter.

“How is it, how is it?” Yu Baoquan leaned over.

Xiang Xi showed them the photo. Zhang Xin glanced, then gave a thumbs up: “So good! I really am photogenic! Xiaoru’s side profile looks great!”

“Could you… give me a copy?” He Xiaoru looked at the photo, a little embarrassed as she asked.

“I’ll save it out and give it to you,” Xiang Xi said.

But save it where?!

Seeing that the photos turned out pretty well, Yu Baoquan immediately asked Xiang Xi to take a few of him too.

So Xiang Xi had no choice but to delete a few more shots and take another batch for them. When the camera warned for the third time that there was no storage left, he suddenly felt stuffed up inside, that kind of reaching-for-something-without-anywhere-to-put-it frustration.

“It’s full. Can’t shoot anymore.” He shoved the camera back into his bag.

“Thanks!” Zhang Xin filled everyone’s cups with alcohol and raised hers toward him.

“What’s there to thank?” Xiang Xi picked up his cup. “Thank you all for taking such good care of me. Even when I don’t know how to do something, you never look down on me.”

After saying that, he tossed back half the cup in one gulp.

“Wow!” Yu Baoquan stared wide-eyed. “That’s how you drink?!”

“Most people use their mouths to drink, right?” Xiang Xi smiled.

“Didn’t expect it—Xiang Xi, with that posture of yours, you could probably drink all three of us under the table!” Zhang Xin said, equally shocked.

“I walk home anyway.” Xiang Xi smiled, picked up some shredded tripe salad with his chopsticks, then poured the rest of the cup into his mouth as well.

It had been a long time since he’d drunk like this—first the injury, then pneumonia, then removing the steel pins. For the past half year, he felt like he’d been living in a state where even smoking and drinking had to be tightly controlled.

He could drink well, but he didn’t enjoy alcohol. Yet with this cup going down, he felt a kind of exhilaration after a long absence.

Yu Baoquan was an average drinker—chatty and could drink a little—but his limit was maybe three taels.

Xiang Xi had no idea how much he’d had. With this amount of alcohol on the table, normally he could finish it all without reaction. But today, drinking felt… unpleasant.

His head wasn’t spinning, his eyes weren’t blurry—just that indescribable blockage.

When they walked out of the restaurant, everyone looked full and satisfied. Yu Baoquan hopped on his scooter and slapped the back seat. “Come on, I’ll take you back.”

“I’ll go by myself.” Xiang Xi looked at him. “I’ll walk back, it’s not far.”

“I didn’t drink much—I won’t dump you off the back.” Yu said.

“I’m walking. Need to digest.” Xiang Xi waved his hand and turned to leave. “You guys be safe!”

The night was much cooler than the day. As he walked, Xiang Xi stretched his arms and tilted his head back to look at the moon. The weather was good—nothing blocking the sky. The moon had just risen, its colour beautiful—only no stars.

He walked a few steps more and saw a small round puddle in front of a flowerbed recently watered. He walked over; the puddle perfectly reflected the moon along with the neon lights from the shop fronts—a moment of quiet within the bustle. It felt wonderful.

He took out his camera, ready to shoot, then remembered—it was full.

He squatted by the roadside and started flipping through the photos. Flipping, flipping… then stopping. Suddenly, he didn’t want to take pictures anymore.

He stared at the water for a long time. Finally, he shoved the camera back into his bag, took out his phone, and dialed Cheng Boyan’s number.

He dialed fast—because if he slowed down even a little, he knew he’d put the phone away again.

Pick up pick up pick up!

Before I hang up—please pick up!

Listening to the ringtone, Xiang Xi tapped his fingers anxiously on the phone.

“Hello?” The call connected just when he was about to hang up. Cheng Boyan’s familiar voice came through. “Xiang Xi?”

Along with Cheng’s voice came loud background noise—music, laughter, someone singing. Even the receiver buzzed.

“You’re out?” Xiang Xi suddenly felt himself deflate. Cheng Boyan sounded like he was having a great time.

“With Song Yi and Lin He, just hanging out. Hold on, I’ll go outside,” Cheng said. A few seconds later, the noise around him faded. “Alright.”

“You go play,” Xiang Xi said, suddenly sleepy. “I…”

“Something happening?” Cheng asked.

“No.” Xiang Xi frowned, a sudden surge of nameless anger rising. “Do I run into problems every day now or what! Nothing happened!”

Cheng went quiet. Xiang Xi also fell silent.

“What’s wrong?” Cheng asked softly after a moment.

Xiang Xi had been ready to let his nameless fire burn ragingly, but Cheng’s gentle “what’s wrong?” instantly poured water all over it—so much that even the fuel nearby disappeared.

“Nothing,” Xiang Xi muttered. “It’s just… my computer broke, and my camera’s full.”

“Need to use my computer?” Cheng chuckled. “Or do you want to buy mine? I’ll give you a discount?”

“Can’t afford it.” Xiang Xi sat on the edge of the flowerbed. “I just want to save the photos somewhere. I can’t bear to delete them, but if I don’t zoom in, I can’t tell which ones are bad and which ones can be deleted.”

“Then come over,” Cheng said. “I’m heading back now.”

“Huh? Now?” Xiang Xi froze. “Aren’t you… singing?”

“It’s not like you haven’t sung with me before—I’m the one who sits in the corner playing with my phone.” Cheng said. “I’ll be home in about twenty minutes.”

“That fast?” Xiang Xi stood up.

“I’m right by the complex—walking takes twenty minutes. Where are you coming from?”

“The supermarket. I’ll take the bus over.” Xiang Xi turned and walked quickly toward the bus stop at the corner. He started walking—but after a few steps, he broke into a run.

Cheng Boyan’s place had lights on—Xiang Xi could see it from downstairs. He ran into the elevator.

When the elevator doors opened and he stepped out, Cheng’s door suddenly swung open. Cheng Boyan came out carrying a bag of trash.

“You’re fast,” Cheng said with a smile when he saw him. He tossed the trash into the bin.

“At this hour there’s no traffic.” Xiang Xi smiled back. Cheng’s smile was still just as good—it made people feel grounded.

“How’d your computer break?” Cheng turned and walked into the apartment.

“I tapped it twice and it broke. They said the hard drive burned out.” Xiang Xi was already feeling pretty frustrated just talking about it, trailing behind Cheng Boyan with a sigh.

“You been drinking?” Cheng Boyan turned his head to look at him.

“…Yeah.” Xiang Xi tugged at his clothes and sniffed them. “Does it smell strong?”

“About average.” Cheng Boyan went into the room and turned on the computer. “Your clothes are still in the study.”

“Oh.” Xiang Xi rubbed his hands together and entered the study, feeling inexplicably comforted by Cheng Boyan’s words.

“I’ll take a shower—smell all weird,” Cheng Boyan said, taking out a change of clothes from the bedroom. “You use this first. There are little cakes in the fridge.”

“I just finished the mending!” Xiang Xi laughed and sat down in front of the computer.

“Just worried you’d only drink and not eat.” Cheng Boyan went into the bathroom and closed the door.

Xiang Xi chuckled to himself again in front of the computer.

What are you laughing at, idiot…

Cheng Boyan’s computer started up much faster than Xiang Xi’s 500-yuan one. Price eight hundred, and it really showed.

Xiang Xi took his camera out of his bag and placed it on the desk. As he was about to plug in the data cable, he noticed an avatar jumping in the bottom-right corner of the screen.

Cheng Boyan’s QQ always logged in automatically when the computer started. When Xiang Xi used his computer, he often saw the bottom-right corner flashing, but usually didn’t care. Today, for some reason, he wanted to take a look.

He stared at the avatar for a long time, then bit his lip and moved the mouse over to click it.

A chat window popped up. First, he saw the name.

“Big Long Leg”.

Xiang Xi couldn’t believe his eyes, barely literate as he was. He leaned closer and stared again to confirm.

It really was Big Long Leg!

“Fucking hell!” How can this guy be everywhere?!

Xiang Xi didn’t know how to react. When he saw the content in the chat window, he jumped up from his chair.

A video request.

A single message.

Big Long Leg: “Not online? Still want to video chat with you. Can’t sleep.”

Sent in the middle of the night!

A middle-of-the-night video… what the hell!

“Who the hell is this?!” Xiang Xi shouted, running to the bathroom door. “Open up!”

“I’m showering,” Cheng Boyan shouted from inside, water gushing. “What do you mean who?”

“Who the hell is that Big Long Leg?!” Xiang Xi slapped the door.

“Can’t hear you. I’ll finish first.” Cheng Boyan sounded a little helpless inside. “Are you drunk and losing it?”

“I am! I am! Losing it!” Xiang Xi got angrier and angrier, slapping the door nonstop. “Stop showering! You said you’re not picky about cleanliness and you’ve been showering for an hour!”

“I just got in! Fine, fine, fine…” Cheng Boyan said, opening the bathroom door, standing there dripping wet, hair on his forehead still dripping. “I’ll go along with your drunken rant. Now tell me—who are we talking about?”

 

Translator : DarNan