After last time, when he’d heard Xiang Xi’s clear, bright voice at that Tan-something’s pervert house, Cheng Boyan once again experienced his fine voice.

And this time, because they were inside a small car, Xiang Xi raised his voice to shout, and Cheng Boyan nearly drove the car straight onto the sidewalk.

“What the hell are you doing?!” He pulled the car over to the side of the road and looked at Xiang Xi.

“Cheng Boyan, you’re too much, really. It’s your birthday and you didn’t say anything!” Xiang Xi glared at him. “I was already nervous about going with you to eat with your friends, afraid I’d embarrass myself. And now, damn, it’s your birthday! If you’d told me earlier, I wouldn’t have bought this outfit, I’d have saved the money to get you a gift!”

“Who asked you to buy me a gift? I didn’t say anything because I was afraid you would,” Cheng Boyan thought for a moment, looked him over, and then laughed. “This outfit’s new, huh?”

“Yeah. From now on, whenever there’s a dinner, I’ll wear this. Formalwear, got it?” Xiang Xi was still glaring.

“Fits you pretty well. Before, with that Mohican haircut, I couldn’t tell you had decent taste.” Cheng Boyan gave him a thumbs up.

“Not bad, right? If I hadn’t wasted ten years in Zhaojiayao, maybe I’d be studying design or something now…” Xiang Xi stopped halfway through his words. “What am I even saying! Wait here a sec!”

“No need for gifts.” Cheng Boyan locked the car doors when Xiang Xi reached for the handle.

“Don’t worry, it won’t be expensive,” Xiang Xi gave him a look. “I’m broke already.”

Cheng Boyan was silent for a moment, then unlocked the doors. Xiang Xi jumped out, patted the car door, and ran into a dingy little supermarket nearby.

Xiang Xi wasn’t just broke now—even if he had money, he couldn’t buy anything fancy here. This supermarket was the flashiest “shopping center” in the area, but it was basically just a farmer’s market.

He rushed through the aisles twice and didn’t see anything suitable. He had never bought anyone a gift, nor received a proper gift himself, so he had no idea what a gift was supposed to look like.

Finally, he stopped in front of the snack shelves. Maybe he’d buy some food.

But after looking around, he still didn’t see anything that could pass as a gift. Just as he was hesitating, he saw Cheng Boyan had gotten out of the car and was walking toward the supermarket.

Anxious, Xiang Xi grabbed a giant lollipop the size of his face and ran to the cashier.

When Cheng Boyan saw Xiang Xi running back holding a colourful lollipop as big as an electric mosquito swatter, he had a hard time holding back his laughter.

“Happy birthday.” Xiang Xi ran up to him and held out the lollipop.

“Thanks.” Cheng Boyan accepted it.

“Grow tall and strong.” Xiang Xi added.

“Alright.” Cheng Boyan smiled.

“There’s nothing decent here at all,” Xiang Xi scratched his head, embarrassed. “This will have to do for now. Tomorrow I’ll make it up to you with a real gift.”

“No need. This is just fine.” Cheng Boyan turned the lollipop in his hand and walked back toward the car. “I actually like it. I’ve never gotten a lollipop as a gift before. Haven’t even eaten one before.”

“Lollipops aren’t healthy, right? Director Xu definitely wouldn’t let you eat it.” Xiang Xi chuckled behind him.

“Today I’ll try one.” Cheng Boyan got back in the car.

The road was congested, and after nearly an hour of driving they still hadn’t arrived. At a red light, Cheng Boyan answered two calls, people on the other end urging him to hurry.

From the voices coming through the phone, Xiang Xi could tell it was lively—several people talking at once.

Cheng Boyan laughed and said he was almost there. Hearing this, Xiang Xi suddenly grew nervous.

At the restaurant, it would be Cheng Boyan’s friends waiting. He’d said they were mostly classmates from high school and university, a close-knit group.

Even without thinking too much, Xiang Xi knew they’d all be people with orderly, stable lives, self-confidence written across their faces. He lowered his head and glanced at himself—such an odd one out…

By the time they reached the restaurant parking lot, Xiang Xi almost wanted to tell Cheng Boyan he shouldn’t go in.

“My friends are easy to talk to,” Cheng Boyan said as he slowly pulled into a space. “Chat if you want, if not just talk to me. If you don’t feel like talking at all, just eat. It’s fine.”

“I probably won’t be able to keep up with their topics,” Xiang Xi still had his head down. “Stuff like international affairs, the economy, the military…”

“Come on,” Cheng Boyan laughed. “You’re giving them too much credit. Do you ever hear me talk about that kind of thing?”

“Then what do you guys talk about?” Xiang Xi raised his head.

Cheng Boyan eased the car into a spot. “Things like, so-and-so got so fat they’re unrecognizable, so-and-so had a kid who looks like a piglet, when should we go to the beach together… Gatherings are for fun, not for holding meetings.”

Xiang Xi chuckled.

Whether it was true or not, Cheng Boyan’s words reassured him.

But when he followed him to the private dining room door, and Cheng Boyan pushed it open, Xiang Xi took one look inside and instantly grew tense again.

Having grown up in Zhaojiayao, he was used to instinctively sizing people up the first time he met them: friendly or unfriendly, approachable or not, easy to steal from, easy to trick, someone you could beat up, or someone you’d better run from…

Inside were about a dozen people around a large round table. As soon as Cheng Boyan entered, the room filled with laughter and greetings.

Xiang Xi scanned the room: friendly smiles, relaxed greetings—but he could also tell that no matter what they talked about, these were not his people. Their smiles, their air, their whole vibe—it was a world apart.

“Hey, you said you were bringing a friend. Birthday boy, introduce him.” someone called out.

“My friend, Xiang Xi,” Cheng Boyan put an arm around Xiang Xi’s shoulder and led him to the table. “Just turned 19. Shouldn’t he be calling you all uncle and auntie?”

“And call you ‘big bro,’ right?” one young woman laughed. “Birthday boy sure has face.”

Xiang Xi smiled a little but didn’t speak.

The group’s attention quickly shifted to teasing a fat guy.

Xiang Xi sat down with Cheng Boyan, relieved.

Since everyone already knew each other so well, and Cheng Boyan wasn’t a kid anymore, the birthday party wasn’t overly focused on him. Once the dishes arrived, everyone toasted him once, and then the chatter turned casual.

Xiang Xi ate silently and glanced around the private room again.

This private room was probably the most luxurious one Xiang Xi had ever entered in his life. It was decorated like a palace, with a sofa so wide it was almost like a bed and a TV taking up half the wall. Compared to the rooms he’d been in with Uncle Ping, the gap between him and the people here was even greater.

The sofa had lots of items on it—obviously gifts. Xiang Xi glanced casually and could tell from the boxes that there were no childish things like a lollipop.

“Xiang Xi, right?” a young woman sitting on his other side asked.

“Yes, that’s me.” Xiang Xi nodded.

“I’m Xiao Lang. Try this fish,” Xiao Lang reached over to spin a plate of fish toward him. “It’s their signature dish, really tasty. Do you like fish?”

“I do,” Xiang Xi picked up a chopstick. “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome,” Xiao Lang smiled. “Don’t you feel like there’s a big generation gap between us and you?”

“There’s no gap between me and him,” someone across the table immediately said. “I even measured my psychological age the other day—just 15. I’m the same age as Xiang Xi.”

“Oh no,” Cheng Boyan picked up a big meatball for Xiang Xi, speaking rapidly. “Oh no, oh no… Lin He, how can you go after a 15-year-old, Song Yi, you need to file a complaint!”

“Whoa!” Lin He beside him laughed.

“Old Cai told me so many dirty jokes,” Song Yi said seriously.

The whole table laughed for a long time.

As Cheng Boyan had said, their conversation was casual, not sophisticated. At most, they lightly touched on stock trading. Especially Song Yi—he spoke casually, and Xiang Xi could see that Song Yi wasn’t really the same type of person as the others.

Xiang Xi listened and laughed along. Although he still felt he couldn’t join the conversation, he wasn’t as nervous as before.

He was a little confused about Lin He and Song Yi’s relationship.

Were these two guys a couple?

Everyone seemed unconcerned about them, treating them like a regular male-female couple, which made Xiang Xi uncertain.

But he recognized them—he remembered they were the two from the last time he went to Fengbo Zhuang to eat with Cheng Boyan.

Just as he was thinking this, someone called his name.

“Xiang Xi,” a chubby guy across the table called, “eat more, why haven’t you touched the food? When I was your age, I could finish this whole table myself.”

“Oh wow, Chen Pang, what’s with your tone? That’s revealing your age,” Xiao Lang laughed.

“I’m not like Song Yi, an underage kid. I have a mature heart. Looking at Xiang Xi is like looking at a little kid…” Chen Pang said.

“He’s going crazy missing his kid,” Song Yi said, looking down at his phone.

“Exactly, you two will go crazy later,” Chen Pang said as he picked up a rib for Song Yi. “Shut up… Xiang Xi, really 19?”

“Yes.” Xiang Xi nodded.

“Studying? Are you Boyan’s junior at school?” Chen Pang asked.

“No…” Xiang Xi felt awkward. Such a normal, casual question suddenly made him uneasy. “I’m not in school anymore.”

“Working,” Cheng Boyan said. “Better than us when we were 19.”

“True, working really tests you,” Chen Pang said, eating some food. “Where are you working?”

Xiang Xi paused mid-drink, the question making him suddenly want to leave the room. Perhaps Chen Pang meant no harm, but almost anyone else would’ve answered without hesitation.

“Working at Sha County,” Cheng Boyan said calmly.

Xiang Xi froze completely.

“Sha County? Sha County snacks?” someone asked.

“Yes,” Cheng Boyan replied.

There was a brief silence in the room, then someone added, “That must be tough, huh?”

“…It’s okay.” Xiang Xi smiled weakly.

“Speaking of tough,” Song Yi slapped the table, “when I worked back then, I was so tired I didn’t want to live…”

The topic quickly shifted to everyone’s own exhausting part-time jobs during school.

Xiang Xi stayed silent, taking a few sips of his drink while keeping his head down as he ate.

“What’s wrong?” Cheng Boyan whispered in his ear.

“I shouldn’t have come today.” Xiang Xi glanced at him, speaking softly.

“I…” Cheng Boyan noticed a flicker of emotion in Xiang Xi’s eyes and paused.

Before he could say more, Xiang Xi said, “I’ll be right back,” and stood up, leaving the private room.

Cheng Boyan hesitated, then got up too. Before following him, he glanced back at Song Yi, who silently mouthed: “You’re an idiot.”

The hallway was all private rooms. Aside from a few waiters, Cheng Boyan didn’t see anyone else.

“Excuse me, where did the boy who just left our private room go?” he asked a waiter standing outside their room.

“He went to the restroom,” the waiter pointed to the end of the hallway. “At the end, turn right.”

“Thank you.” Cheng Boyan immediately ran over that way.

Since each private room had its own restroom, the public restrooms on the floor were basically empty. Cheng Boyan pushed the door open and saw no one inside.

“Xiang Xi?” he called out, knocking on each door as he went along.

No one answered, but one door was locked and wouldn’t open. Cheng Boyan knocked a few times on it. “Xiang Xi, are you in there?”

No response from inside.

“Sorry,” Cheng Boyan said, “I didn’t realize it mattered so much to you. I’m sorry.”

Still no response.

Cheng Boyan bent down and peeked through the gap under the door. He saw Xiang Xi’s new jeans and running shoes. Standing up, he hesitated for a moment, then entered the adjacent stall.

The restroom didn’t smell bad and was quite clean, but for Cheng Boyan, what he had to do was still very challenging.

He took some paper towels, used them to cover the toilet seat, stood on it, stepped on the water tank with more towels underneath, then placed paper towels on the board between the two stalls. Holding onto the divider, he leaned his head over.

He saw Xiang Xi sitting with his head down on the toilet lid.

“Ugh, this is filthy,” Cheng Boyan muttered.

The sudden voice startled Xiang Xi. He looked up, saw a head above him, and jumped straight off the toilet, bumping into the closed door.

“You’re crazy!” Xiang Xi shouted. “I nearly peed in my pants from being scared!”

“My noise was pretty loud, didn’t you hear me?” Cheng Boyan carefully avoided touching the divider. “Come out, let’s talk.”

Xiang Xi opened the door, kicked it slightly, and stepped out of the stall, folding his arms in the middle of the restroom.

Cheng Boyan jumped down from the toilet, washed his hands at the sink, and walked over to Xiang Xi.

“No need for disinfectant?” Xiang Xi asked, looking at him.

“Later,” Cheng Boyan shook the water from his hands. “Are you mad?”

“No.” Xiang Xi replied quietly.

“Sorry,” Cheng Boyan apologized again. “I really didn’t think it would matter, so I just said it.”

“Of course you wouldn’t think it matters,” Xiang Xi said. “It’s not you who’s embarrassed. At most, people might say, ‘How does Cheng Boyan hang out with someone like this?’”

“…No one would say that,” Cheng Boyan looked at his face. “Even if they did, it wouldn’t matter…”

“You don’t care! I know! You don’t care!” Xiang Xi suddenly stepped forward, glaring at him. “But I care! I care a lot! You don’t care because it’s not your issue! I care because it’s me! I’m the one facing other people’s judgment, not you!”

Cheng Boyan didn’t speak. He looked at him for a long time, then sighed lightly.

“Other people’s judgment,” he said softly, “how do you know I haven’t faced it? There’s a lot of it—people looking down, people finding it strange, people sympathetic, people curious.”

Xiang Xi looked at him silently.

“But still, I owe you an apology. I didn’t consider your feelings,” Cheng Boyan said.

“I’m not mad at you,” Xiang Xi stepped back two paces and leaned against the sink. “I just feel… frustrated.”

“Is working at Sha County that frustrating?” Cheng Boyan asked. “You’re earning honestly. It's all based on ability; I do what I can within my abilities, and as long as I worked hard, no one has the right to judge me.”

“Easy for you to say,” Xiang Xi smiled. “It’s like someone with a ten-thousand-yuan phone telling someone with a hundred-yuan phone, ‘Your phone is fine, practical.’”

“I wouldn’t feel anything with a hundred-yuan phone,” Cheng Boyan frowned.

“Of course not. That’s because you, and everyone who knows you, knows you could never pick up a ten-thousand-yuan phone!” Xiang Xi squinted. “It’s the same principle. If you say you work at Sha County, no one will look down on you.”

Cheng Boyan opened his mouth but couldn’t immediately respond. After a long pause, he said, “Suddenly I feel like I can’t argue with you… fine, Sha County. Then put in effort. Go from Sha County to Shashi!”

“People like me,” Xiang Xi pointed at himself, eyes glistening with tears, “hang on to this little bit of hope. It’s empty, but I have to cling to it. If I relax, I might fall and never get back up. Do you know how hard it is? Supporting myself while still losing air! Sha County? I was joking! I couldn’t even handle that clay-pot rice job, how could I jump to… Sha County? And you believed it? Really!”

“Huh?” Cheng Boyan froze. “What’s going on?”

“What’s going on?” Xiang Xi laughed, wiped his eyes, and suddenly shouted, “What else! I came from a pile of mud, so let it stink!”

“What happened?” Cheng Boyan stared at him. “Tell me. I won’t say anything if you do.”

“What can I say! What can I say! Doctor Cheng, I’m in trouble again, Doctor Cheng, I ran into something again, Doctor Cheng I… again! Again! Again!” Xiang Xi cried, tears streaming. “If I told you everything, you wouldn’t even dodge to the ends of the earth. I’d not even have the surname Xiang! God must’ve taken a laxative for you to be my friend! I’m just this one blade of grass! Can I say it? Can I use all my strength?!”

His voice dropped, tears uncontrollably flowing. “Can I? I’m afraid if I try too hard, I’ll tear it off… where would I find another one… there’ll never be another…”

Cheng Boyan couldn’t speak for a long time. He had always thought Xiang Xi was sensitive and self-conscious, and that he saw through a lot, so tears didn’t usually appear on his face.

Now, seeing him cry like a dam breaking, Cheng Boyan felt helpless. And a little heartache.

“Don’t cry,” he reached out and ruffled Xiang Xi’s hair, “Xiang Xi, don’t cry.”

“None of your business! I’ll cry!” Xiang Xi cried out.

Cheng Boyan sighed, wrapped Xiang Xi in his arms, and patted his back lightly. “Alright, cry then. Go ahead, cry all over in different ways.”

Xiang Xi hugged him back, pressing his face into his shoulder, crying hard a few times, then went silent.

“Can’t catch your breath?” Cheng Boyan patted his back again.

“Damn it,” Xiang Xi whispered. “Cried too hard, can’t anymore…”

Cheng Boyan smiled, pulled out his phone. “It’s just a job lost, just trouble, it’s fine.”

“Easy to say when you’re standing,” Xiang Xi muttered.

“I’ll introduce you to a boss, you work hard,” Cheng Boyan dialed a number. When it connected, he said, “Song Yi, come to the hallway restroom.”

 

Translator : DarNan