893.5 (Gu Yiliang’s  memo)

It was too sudden, everything happened too abruptly, and the plot was just too overwhelming.

It took over three thousand exclamation marks to barely calm down.

It was the actor's self-discipline that saved my life - along with drinking culture and junior high school Chinese class.

My hands are trembling as I type, probably due to the influence of alcohol.

After this battle, my acting skills and adaptability will surely take a qualitative leap.

Never did I imagine that my closest person next year was the one I despised the most yesterday.

From this, I learned a truth: leave room for others, so you can meet again in the future.

Fortunately, because I didn't want to lose face in front of Yanyan, I didn't do anything too out of line; otherwise, I really wouldn't know what to do, and I might have to plead guilty.

Fortunately! Uncle Huang is kind-hearted, with a sense of justice, and he didn't hold me accountable too much. In fact, it seems like he has a good impression of me?

No wonder he's Yanyan's real dad. They truly share the same innocence, simplicity, and openness.

I'll continue to work hard, maintain this state, and make sure to establish a good relationship with Uncle Huang to make up for my major mistakes in the past.

Self-blame, intense self-blame. I'm too embarrassed. I actually used such an unpleasant way of thinking to judge Yanyan, misunderstanding him for so long.

...Yanyan always says I'm good to him. It turns out... He really thinks I'm good to him.

Ok, it should be so.

Being good to someone is a given. After all, liking someone ultimately means thinking they're "good" in every way. So, for someone so good, they should receive the best treatment.

"Being good to someone" should be the most basic way of expressing one's affection, apart from material things.

Going off-topic here, continuing the self-reflection, I shouldn't have misunderstood Yanyan. I jumped to conclusions, being prejudiced, and that's really not good.

But, if it weren't for this misunderstanding, I wouldn't have thought of... getting closer to him and discovering the joy in it, inch by inch. It's like a blessing in disguise, isn't it?

No, I can't use a twisted perspective to absolve myself. When you're wrong, you're wrong.

Yanyan must be very angry. [Sigh]

Originally, I was planning for these two days how to confess, referencing various materials, planning extensively, writing several pages, arranging a lot of scenes, making thorough preparations, and still feeling insufficient, hesitating on how to approach it, and now...!

The incident happened suddenly, and my emotions were too turbulent, and I forgot the preparations and arrangements I had prepared for tonight!

This is the second time; I should be blacklisted by that restaurant, and I might even be blocked by the violinist.

Next time, I'll invite a pianist.

Hmm, it's not too late yet. Even if it takes another half an hour to finish eating, I should still be able to make it to Plan B's amusement park for the evening fireworks.

Fortunately, it's still within the plan, steady and safe. ^^

Although it seems a bit too focused on the ceremonial aspect, but... perfection is always good.

We must strive for perfection.

I don't know how to face Yanyan when I get back. [Sigh]

Will he... dislike me because of this?

He probably won't.

Or will he doubt my IQ?

He probably will.

Oh well, regardless, let's go back for now. I shouldn't be away from the table for too long; fireworks cool down easily, and they don't wait for people.

 

894.

Gu Yiliang stood by the door with a puzzled look, awkwardly touched his nose and said, "Hasn't it been too long?"

Lao Huang, a veteran of life's ups and downs, managed to maintain his composure even after the surprise encounter of a father and son at a crazy scene. He warmly invited Gu Yiliang to sit next to him, handed him a cup of sobering tea, and asked with concern, "Are you a little tipsy?"

Gu Yiliang looked at Lao Huang, then at me, who was calm, and then glanced at the door of the private room. He seemed to be filled with self-doubt and said, "Well, maybe?"

Before Old Huang could speak, he quickly shook his head, looking determined, and said, "No, I can still drink!"

Lao Huang's spirits lifted, and he showed appreciation, saying, "Good, good, good!"

Me: "…"

895.

Well, as soon as the two of them started drinking and engaging in lively conversations, I had no room to speak. I could only sit quietly on the side like a chicken, watching them exchange cups and listening to their laughter.

Gu Yiliang really pulled out all the stops to flatter Lao Huang. Instead of Gu Yuzheng, he looked more like Gu Lianying. He was reciting flattering words in succession, making Lao Huang unable to stop smiling. Every few sentences, Lao Huang would start to say that if it weren't for Gu Yiliang being Gu Yuzheng in name and holding a certain status, he'd want to adopt him as a son.

Gu Yiliang bit the rim of his wine glass, his eyes showing regret and self-blame.

Do you realize your foolishness now? I chuckled and saw him drop his eyes with a sense of regret. He immediately shifted his stance.

We are on the same team!

Alcohol emboldens the timid. I pulled Lao Huang and muttered to him, "…If you want to acknowledge him, just do it. Why do you care about the name? Or better yet, let him call you godfather."

"Hey, how are you speaking?" Lao Huang turned his head and gave me an annoyed pat. "How about you call him grandfather, and each of you calls each other what you want?"

Me: "…"

Me: "You two continue, you two continue."

 

896.

Looking at them continuing their conversation, I sipped the sobering tea and idly opened a few social media apps, only to quickly close them. Just as I opened QQ, I saw William Lianwei messaging me, asking if I was there.

Even though the topic of fan fiction hadn't come up yet, I had just officially come out to my parents, and with the help of alcohol, I was in a highly excited state. When I saw her message, my hands didn't shake, and my head didn't hurt anymore. I calmly replied that I was here.

William Lianwei: Xiao Nene, I've thought about it. Regarding the fan fiction incident, I sent several modified versions at the time, but it might have been a mistake on the part of the program staff when they printed it. There's no guarantee that Yan Yan has seen it... Please don't bother Yan Yan about this.

What a considerate girl! She denied the sweet revelation she had found herself, so I didn't have to come up with any excuses!

I was touched for a moment and felt relieved. I replied with a simple "Okay."

William Lianwei: By the way, can I curiously inquire about… how far has their relationship progressed? Is it stable?

William Lianwei: There are many people here, and it won't be shared in the group chat! I'm just privately inquiring!

William Lianwei: Because I've seen them together before, it was really sweet. I haven't seen Yan Yan post much about the set on Instagram in the past two days, so I'm a bit worried.

William Lianwei: It's okay if you can't answer! Please forgive a worried old mother!

I thought for a moment. I had just denied her a real piece of candy, so how about giving her one now!

I definitely wasn't trying to show off.

Can’t say: They're doing great, actually. They're having dinner with Yan Yan's parents right now.

After a while with no response, I suddenly realized.

Wait, sending receipts with irrefutable evidence is a strict rule!

I slapped my alcohol-flushed forehead, subtly leaned back, and took a photo, capturing just below the chin, not revealing their faces, of Lao Huang and Gu Yiliang raising their glasses. Then, I applied the "A Toast to Life" filter that comes with the phone's QQ app and sent it to her.

Can’t say: ​(picture)

Can’t say: Cheers, come and join us.

 

897.

William Lianwei began typing frantically with ellipses, and I watched the screen fill with dots. It's the 21st century, isn't it just meeting the parents? Was there any need to get so excited?

William Lianwei: … Yan Yan?

898.

Me:?

899.

Can’t say: Who?

William Lianwei: My hands are trembling now, and I can't type. My phone is about to be crushed. I don't dare to write my fan fiction like this. I can't be this open about my creativity. I'm about to have epilepsy, asthma, high blood pressure, and a stroke all at once.

William Lianwei: … Yan Yan?

William Lianwei: Yan Yan?! ! ! Can't you be a bit more careful? You didn't send it to anyone else, did you?

Can’t say: Who?

William Lianwei: I won’t say it.

Can’t say: Who?

William Lianwei: The angles, the utensils, the filter, those can be overlooked. But most importantly...

William Lianwei: Why were you present when they met the parents????

900.

I slammed my phone onto the table.

Lao Huang and Gu Yiliang were startled, and they both looked at me. "What's wrong?"

Alcohol is treacherous!

Why is this sobering tea not doing anything at all? Others drink fake alcohol, am I drinking fake tea?

The little demons in my heart were screaming like mad while whipping themselves with sticks. I forced a stiff smile, and through clenched teeth, I muttered, "It's nothing, my hand slipped."

Gu Yiliang looked at Lao Huang with some concern, then asked me cautiously, "Are you really okay?"

Me:?

No, in my heart, the world is collapsing, and my heart is broken into pieces like the litter on the street. I barely managed a smile, and my voice sounded mechanical and rusty, like a machine that had been left out in the rain for too long. "Could you… say that again?"

Gu Yiliang blinked, looking somewhat hurt. "I said, since there's an age difference in the name, can I call you, um, Mr. Huang, Uncle Huang?"

He added in a hushed tone, "If it's not okay, then I won't call you that..."

Lao Huang looked at me disapprovingly. "What's going on with you today? Why are you so unwilling to let Xiao Zheng call me whatever he likes? Just let him call me that. It's friendly, and it gives you a feeling of being a close relative."

Me: Who is Xiao Zheng anyway?

Gu Yiliang also looked at me with an expression that was despondent, as if he was about to break down in tears and his emotions were on the verge of shattering.

Although I knew he was likely acting about 99% of the time, I took a few deep breaths in my mind and softened my tone. "Of course, you can call him that. It's just that it sounds a bit strange since we..."

Before I could finish the sentence, "there," they were used to calling "uncle." However, Gu Yiliang's despondent expression instantly turned into joyful appreciation, and he turned his head with shining eyes. "Dad."

Lao Huang: "Hiss!"

Me: Why do you hiss when anyone calls you? Isn't this a bit much, Gu Yiliang, did you do it on purpose?

I pinched OLaold Huang's thigh hard under the table. Lao Huang quickly adjusted his expression to a serious one and nodded politely. He took out his phone and waved it around. "Ahem, you two continue chatting. I'll make a phone call outside."

Saying that, he stood up righteously and left the room without glancing at us.

 

901.

I listened to the faintly insane laughter coming from outside the private room, and I rested my trembling hand on my forehead.

902.

This was the first time I had spent time alone with Gu Yiliang after resolving the misunderstanding, and the atmosphere seemed a bit awkward.

I remained silent, and Gu Yiliang seemed to want to say something but hesitated.

 

I seem to have made a mistake! How do I fix this?

Saying that I'm Xiao Chen and the photo was sent by Yanyan?

Who would send a photo introducing their same-sex partner to their parents to their assistant?

Or should I say the photo is a selfie of mine, and I'm actually Gu Yiliang?

 

903.

My thoughts were shattered by alcohol, and I was fumbling to find an excuse. I picked up my phone and slammed it down repeatedly, causing a loud noise.

Gu Yiliang looked uneasy, glancing at me, then at the private room's door, hesitating. He slowly moved closer to me, leaned in, and asked, "Um, Yanyan, did I make Lao Huang uncomfortable by calling him Uncle Huang? Considering our situation..."

No, that's not it. He was just momentarily overwhelmed by his feelings outside due to our love.

Gu Yiliang looked downcast. "It's my fault for not thinking it through."

Seeing that I had scared the poor kid, even though my emotions were shattering into pieces, I decided to set aside William's matter for now and pinched Gu Yiliang's cheek. "Now you're scared? Who was fearlessly confronting Lao Huang earlier? Huh? Sutu confronted him?"

He asked, "Sutu confronted him?"

I said, "Aren't you the one who likes to come up with your own names? Having a compound name sounds cooler. How about giving yourself a name like Zhuge? Ouyang? Wanqi? Murong?"

He asked, "Gu Weiyan?"

Me:”……”

904.

A master of seduction! Zhuge, the master of seduction!

905.

I couldn't help but laugh inside, and I didn't want to dwell on the misunderstanding anymore. After all, he believed I was financially supported, but he didn't "dislike" me; instead, he protected me in every way. Even with Uncle Qi earlier, I'm sure he felt uncomfortable seeing Lao Huang suddenly.

Oh, this person, why is he so good?

During the show, he said he wouldn't get drunk, wouldn't make me cry, but for Lao Huang, he drank alcohol, and he just ran off for so long just now. Perhaps he was emotionally overwhelmed and went to hide in the restroom to cry.

I was making myself feel pitied, and it tugged at my heart. Despite my inner turmoil, I appeared calm, reassuring him with confidence: "Don't worry, I've got everything under control."

Gu Yiliang patted my hand and said, "In this situation, it's better to be practical."

 

Me: "..."

Him: "How about I give him a gift? A root carving? A piece of jade? I can even make a life-sized sculpture of him to place in your garden. I read on Baidu that..."

I narrowed my eyes when he suddenly paused. Did he just confess that he'd secretly gone out to gather information on how to win over Lao Huang? He owes me some sympathy now!

 

I gnashed my teeth and, with a swift motion, I pulled him closer, kissed his lips that were slightly tainted with alcohol, and said, "When I say there's nothing to fear, there's nothing to fear."

He was kissed by me, and it seemed that he had figured out something. He laughed, his eyes nearly disappearing, and he wrapped his arm around my waist, pressing me down a bit, and whispered between our lips, "Wait until we go together—"

Lao Huang raised his phone to his ear and suddenly opened the door. "Lao Lu is calling you—"

906.

Lao Huang: "Ahem."

Me: "Ahem."

 Gu Yiliang: "Ahem."

We slowly moved apart and returned to our seats, sincerely looking at Lao Huang. "Please, go ahead."

Lao Huang: "Be discreet, be discreet. Lao Lu wants you to get back to the set quickly. He says there's a meeting."

Gu Yiliang’s aura seemed to freeze, and I looked at him with a puzzled expression. Then, I turned to Lao Huang and asked, "What kind of meeting is happening this late?"

Lao Huang: "Lao Lu received internal information that someone is planning to expose your male lead's involvement in last year's gambling trip with a group of rich kids. It might have a negative impact. If we can't contain it, it might lead to a production halt for a while. He wants you to return to sign an agreement."

Me: "…………"

Lao Huang waved his hand. "Your male lead looks respectable, so it's probably just a rumor. You don't need to worry too much."

I personally thought it's more likely to be true—Main Brother, a hidden master, a versatile artist involved in gambling, right?

"Alright," I nodded and stood up, pulling Gu Yiliang who remained silent. "Let's head back quickly."

 

907.

A table originally set for Lao Lu and the others went to waste due to the three of us. Gu Yiliang, for some reason, seemed to be filled with tension, looking at his phone the whole time, not talking. I asked him a few times, but he only gave evasive answers, leaving me utterly confused.

How long did this situation persist? After we returned to the set, bid farewell to Lao Huang, sat through a lengthy meeting, and signed the agreement, we returned to the hotel. In the meantime, I received more messages from William, and it caused my inner turmoil to flare up again. Gu Yiliang still hadn't recovered his emotions and was becoming increasingly silent, appearing deeply wounded.

 

908.

I was even beginning to suspect that he might be involved with the male lead.

909.

Until we were seated in the living area of Gu Yiliang's hotel room, he still didn't want to speak. I initially wanted to talk to him, but seeing his disoriented expression, I felt a bit reluctant. I hesitated and said, "Don't worry too much. We can let the law handle this—"

Gu Yiliang looked like he just woke up from a dream. "Huh?"

Me: "……"

 

I: "...aren't you feeling upset for him?"

He: "...no." He hesitated for a moment, gathered his courage, and with a very serious expression, said: "I..."

My heart skipped a beat, puzzled, as he lowered his head and started typing on his phone.

Me: "?" My annoyance was interrupted by Lao Huang's arrival, dragging in a big misunderstanding along with him. I had almost forgotten the past two days when he had been distant. Now, this sudden realization, coupled with being ignored all evening, brewed a surge of anger and the remnants of alcohol in my system.

"I'm not going to let you off the hook so easily! What's wrong with you?" I grabbed his hand forcefully.

910.

I had intended to interrogate him with authority, but my words came out sounding a bit plaintive. I felt my own sourness and shivered.

I adjusted my tone and expression, trying to sound neutral. "Why are you ignoring me?" It was like I was pleading, and I didn't understand how I ended up feeling this way. Men! Men are so complicated! I leaned over abruptly, half-sitting on his lap and pinched his chin. "Hey, why are you ignoring me?"

I was left wondering if I could still express my annoyance clearly. He looked momentarily confused by my actions but then wrapped his arms around my waist, securing my position, his lips moving to form words.

Alright, go ahead and form your words. Details reveal sincerity. His soothing actions pacified my frustration, and I gazed down at him, patiently waiting for him to speak.

He lowered his eyes slightly, a conflicted expression on his face, and his eyelashes quivered.

 

911.

When a mountain has no ridges, when water no longer flows, when time stands still, day and night become indistinguishable. He hesitated to speak, leaving the words unspoken.

Fortunately, I had learned to be patient this time and didn't stare intently, or I would have turned into a statue while waiting. What was he struggling with that made it so hard for him to speak? Perhaps I should give him some sparkling water, and he'll finally be able to express himself.

To be honest, it took way too long for him to speak. Even if Emperor Xuanzong (Emperor of the Tang dynasty, known for his very long reign) asked me to fetch scriptures, I would have already returned.

I encouraged myself not to dwell on his coldness, knowing that everyone has moments of low spirits and reluctance to talk. Now, it's just that I have no idea what he wants to say.

Please, just tell me! Put my curiosity to rest! Open your mouth8

I stared deeply into his eyes, nearly turning into a stone monument. Finally, he started to speak. Under my hopeful and encouraging gaze, he began slowly, "...how about we discuss this tomorrow?"

912.

I could have killed him!

Top of Form

913.

I shook Gu Yiliang's shoulder in frustration and demanded, "Say it! Whatever it is, just say it! I'll do anything for my brother!"

Gu Yiliang reached out to support my waist, saying, "Don't shake; you might fall."

I leaned back and looked at him with a heart as cold as ashes, saying, "I'll fall and die myself if you don't talk. You deal with it."

Gu Yiliang looked at me, gathered his courage once more, and said solemnly, "I..."

I didn't even bother to hold my breath this time. He was probably unable to finish what he wanted to say.

Sure enough, he pursed his lips and fell silent again.

I couldn't be bothered anymore and decided to wash up and sleep. I stood up, and he grabbed my arm, shifting me to the side, and rushed into the room, going clippity-clop.

Me: Why is he running off again?

Not long after, he returned clippity-clop and handed me something.

Me: ?

I took it from him.

 

914.

What I held in my hands was a heavy leather notebook, like a journal, and it seemed quite personal. I hesitated and asked, "Is this for me to read?"

Gu Yiliang lightly bit his lip and made a sound of agreement.

I confirmed, "I can read it?"

Gu Yiliang nodded.

So, I opened the notebook.

 

915.

I fell silent.

916.

This is... How should I put it? Instead of calling it a diary, it's more like a heart stripped of all pretenses and disguises. Purely showing all emotions, fragmented and detailed, completing a genuine picture of Gu Yiliang.

Gu Yiliang stood beside me with an extremely tense atmosphere. I didn't look up; instead, I focused on the notebook in my hand.

The first half of the notebook contained detailed accounts of his daily work life. It documented his joy when receiving work assignments, his complaints when work was exhausting, the awkwardness when facing difficulties, and the gratitude he felt when someone helped him. It also included some minor household matters that bothered him. After about six months, my name started to appear in the notebook.

 

917.

It wasn't long; I haven't known him for very long. There were only around twenty pages for each day, and my part was unexpectedly rich. He had added pages and attached some, torn from other notebooks, almost like sticky notes or printed notes from a smartphone. It made the once moderately thick notebook appear bulky and somewhat disorganized.

From our initial encounter, the misunderstandings along the way, the decisions he made, his recorded emotions and mood swings, his inner turmoil, and his uncertainty. He detailed my preferences and described every single aspect of our time together, whether sweet or awkward, entertaining or mundane.

Our story, narrated from an entirely different perspective and version, was like adding a pigment named "Gu Yiliang" to the canvas of my heart, instantly infusing every drop of water with his color.

 

918.

Page after page, the sheets were flipped until the date jumped to the past two days. I finally found out what he had been thinking these last couple of days, unraveling the mystery of his hesitation.

919.

I let out a sigh, closed the notebook, and handed it back to Gu Yiliang.

He looked at me with a calm expression, only his knuckles holding the book turning white. "...You—"

I interrupted, "Wait, wait, just stay here. I'll be right back."

"Please don't overthink it; I'll be back soon."

"Very soon."

 

920.

I rushed into the inner room of his bedroom, closed the door, and locked it. Then, I called his name through the door, listening for any sounds, confirming the soundproofing in the room.

It was secure. No one could overhear our conversation.

With a quick turn, I scanned his room, looking for an innocent mineral water bottle.

There you are.

I picked up the mineral water bottle and placed it in a spot I found suitable. Then...

A karate chop shattered it to pieces!

 

921.

Did Yiliang think he was someone else, or did he think he was Lei Feng (NT: soldier described as a model citizen) doing good things and writing a diary without telling me? Did he want to wait for us to miss our chance and leave our future generations to discover the diary, shedding tears of sorrow when they connect the dots and create a legendary love story? Was he waiting for someone to adapt our story into novels and movies, like 'If Love Had a Destiny'?

Was it all for nothing that I stayed up several nights worrying and trying to figure out if he was gay? He took just three cigarettes to realize he wasn't straight!

And why was he reading BL stories? Did he seriously take all of those BL tropes and turn them into a pure and genuine love story? Was he some kind of a fallen god or a reincarnation of a literary genius?

Chasing me? Has anyone ever chased someone like this? His act of maintenance was so mind-blowing.

Also said he wanted to confess? What was so difficult about saying 'I like you'? Did it need such an elaborate setup and the need to withhold the confession for so long? What was so hard about saying it? Even the god of death would be too intimidated by him, making him lose his words.

Why didn't he dare to show me his true self? Did he not realize that whether he was Kuroro, Zhuge Liang, or a Ouyang worm, I'd still like him?

He wanted to confess, but why was it so complicated? Did it really require taking out a diary, the ultimate move that could shake heaven and earth and make ghosts and gods cry, like the Pangu creating the world, the opening scene of the myth?

I almost felt like lying down and basking in the glory of all the revelations.

I was now half-kneeling on the ground, grinding my teeth while mercilessly beating the mineral water bottle in front of me.

 

922.

I calmly opened the door.

Gu Yiliang was still standing in the same place, looking at me with confusion, nervousness, and a touch of disarray.

I launched towards him with a sudden burst of energy, and then with another jump, he caught me, and I hung onto him.

923.

"I like you too," I said, "I like you the most in the whole world."

 

--

The author has something to say

Thank you for reading over the past month!

This is the end of the main story; there won't be any extra chapters.

No more dragging it out – it's better to end it sweetly!

I still have some memes left to share.

There won't be extra chapters, no rough patches, nothing long. There won't be any car accidents, no daily routines, no sugarcoating, and no ongoing drama. There won't be any coming out.

 

Don't panic; there will be an extra chapter coming!

 

Translator : DarNan